Insights
by TashaLaw
Summary: The everyday journey from friendship to a relationship. Post Always.
1. Scars

**Title:** Insights

**Spoilers:** Through Always

**Summary:** The everyday journey from friendship to a relationship. Post Always.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Castle.

**A/N:** I was trying to think of a good idea for an angsty multi-part fic I could sink my imagination into over the summer, and after hours of brainstorming and a little bit of research, my fingers finally started typing and came up with... summer vacation fluff. Or quasi-fluff. Every relationship has its problems, after all. I'll add chapters as they come to me over the summer. Reviews are always appreciated.

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**Chapter 1: Scars**

Her favorite flavor of ice cream is strawberry, but she will settle for rocky road. She is ticklish behind her knees but will deny it - vehemently. When she sleeps on her back, she sometimes snores, just a little bit. She never skips to the end of the book, no matter how curious she is about the identity of the killer.

Castle has learned so many things about Kate in the month since she arrived on his doorstep, wet from the rain and newly resigned from the NYPD. He now knows how she kisses and what she looks like bathed in the first morning's light the morning after. He learned how she tastes and the quickest ways to bring her pleasure. He also knew exactly where her tattoo was located, not to mention the story behind it. That had been a fun evening of sharing.

He found out the names of her grandparents and how old she was when she first broke her arm. He knows the name of the first boy she ever kissed, although she still refused to tell him about her _first time_.

He knows she still has secrets, parts of herself she keeps private even from him. And he knows not to push, that like any good writer, she will give him the important information as it becomes necessary, doling it out like rewards rather than in one giant, indigestible mass.

Not that he would mind knowing everything about Kate Beckett. Four years as partners had taught him a lot. One month as lovers had earned him more details and hidden parts. But every day he would find out something new, something unique and fascinating or ordinary and common. But never boring. Nothing about her was boring, not from the brand of conditioner she used to her political opinions to her taste in music.

She was a mystery, certainly, but a mystery with many layers. "So many layers to the Beckett onion. However will you peel them all?" she once asked him.

Back then, the question had presented a conundrum, but now he knew exactly how. Slowly. Carefully. And with exquisite enjoyment of the process.

Speaking of enjoyment, he was very much enjoying learning about how much skin Kate was willing to show in a bathing suit. Their first week at the Hamptons she wore a one-piece with a high neckline which left most of her back open and bare. Castle hid his disappointment in the suit hiding even more of her than the one she'd worn the time they went to Los Angeles. But the next week, he was rewarded with a return of that favored garment, the tan one with the little connector straps of fabric which hid very little of her toned stomach

By the third week, Castle was done with the whole one-piece bathing suit era. If Kate was uncomfortable showing off her body because of the scars – and he suspected that had a lot to do with it – she had no reason to be. Besides, his pool was private and the only ones that would see her were him, Alexis, and his mother.

So he bought her a bikini one day when they were out shopping. The purchase wasn't on a whim necessarily – he had spotted her looking at it for more than a few seconds. But then she had examined the space between the triangles of fabric on the top and frowned before putting it back on the rack.

Paying for it when she was in the dressing room trying on something else, Castle arranged for the swimsuit to be delivered to the house the next day. It would be a surprise, he rationalized, something she could wear if she wanted to wear it. No pressure.

However, when he had left it for her on the night stand in their room two days later, boxed up with a single red ribbon, he expected her to confront him about it. Having sent her up to change into a suit before their morning swim in the pool, he waited in the kitchen for her to come storming down the stairs and throw it in his face for presuming. Castle even had his arguments all mapped out, exactly what he would say to convince her how gorgeous she would look in the bikini, how much he wanted to see her in it.

Instead, she just did not come down.

For fifteen minutes he stood in the kitchen in his swim trunks, waiting. Fretting. Worrying a dent in his tiles as he paced back and forth, hating to take his eyes off the stairs for even a second but needing the movement. Why wasn't she coming down? Had he screwed up so royally buying her the bikini?

Then Alexis called him out onto the back patio where she was already dressed for the pool and sitting in the sun. His daughter needed sunscreen on her back, and finally, there was something useful for him to do while he waited for Kate. Of course, Alexis immediately inquired into his girlfriend's absence.

"Where's Kate?" she asked.

"She's, uh… changing."

As if he could fool the child he'd spent the last 18 years raising. "Then why do you look like you're in trouble?" she pursued.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he managed. Barely.

And then behind him he heard a noise - a clearing of the throat, deliberate, so as to gain attention. Turning quickly, Castle saw her standing in the doorway to the house.

In the bikini.

Looking absolutely stunning. Radiant, even.

Her skin had darkened into a light tan in the three weeks since they had left New York, and the color looked good. The color of the bikini – a dark purple with waves of silver – was also becoming on her. The cut of the suit was traditional, showing off a lot of skin, but it covered all the important parts adequately.

He did not even think to look for the scars until Alexis had bounded off towards Kate in excitement. "I love the new suit," the teenager gushed. "You look really good in it, too."

"Thanks, Alexis," Kate said, and he could see her fighting the embarrassment. Then she fixed her stare on him and – oh man – he wasn't sure if she was angry or happy, but she was definitely _something_ very strong.

As his teenager jumped in the pool, the former detective stalked towards him with an unreadable expression, her hips swaying more than normal as she approached with slow, deliberate steps. Once she had reached him, sitting on the chaise lounge Alexis had vacated, she did not sit down. Instead, she simply leaned down so that her lips were a centimeter or two from his ear and whispered very softly.

"Next time, I get to pick _your_ swimsuit."

He would have chuckled if her expression was not so serious, so saucy, and so sexy. Instead, he swallowed dryly as Kate picked up the tube of sunscreen Alexis had left on the seat and handed it to him. Then she saw down next to him but turned away, pulling her hair over one shoulder and presenting him with a great deal of skin on her back.

Time slowed down as his mind warred with his body over what to do in this circumstance. If Alexis were not just a few feet away in the pool, he felt certain that the purple bikini would be gone and he would be devouring Kate right there. But their teenage chaperone was an effective deterrent from such behavior.

"Castle?" she said a moment later, looking over at her shoulder at him expectantly. He stared at her blankly. Nodding to the sunscreen in his hand, she asked, "Can you do it or should I have Alexis get out of the pool?"

He looked down, and sure enough, that was what he was supposed to do – keep this fair skinned beauty from burning. And he could do that just by rubbing a slippery substance all over her body. Was this supposed to be a punishment?

"Work, work, work…" he muttered as he threw himself into the delightful task.

As he rubbed the sunscreen into her skin, he noticed Kate begin to lean back into him a little, perhaps unconsciously. Tilting his head to the side, he could also make out a sliver of her smile in profile. And her eyes were closed. She was enjoying the feel of his hands on her back.

Kneading her skin a little more deeply, Castle segued from a simple sunscreen application to a gentle massage, taking care to work the muscles of her shoulders and upper back. When he rubbed his fingers along the back of her neck, she let out a low moan, only loud enough for him to hear.

Castle added that to his secret list of things he had learned about Kate Beckett – she liked massages, especially around the tense area at the back of her neck.

"Do you like the swimsuit?" he inquired, speaking over her shoulder into one ear. His breath lifted a few stray hairs, and she either smiled widely at the way they tickled her face or at his question.

"I do like it," Kate answered without elaboration.

"Took you a while to come down."

He expected her to shrug or to give a dismissive response. But she just said, "Don't wear bikinis a lot, Castle."

"You should."

Then she shrugged, and he regretted bringing it up because she moved slightly away from him, ending the massage as she turned and reached for the tube of sunscreen. "I don't usually have access to a private pool."

So the scars did bother her, but it was something she could overcome in the presence of just him and his family. No one would judge her here or say anything rude or ask prying questions. They all knew exactly what the little circular mark between her breasts meant, what it signified.

"So you won't wear this to the beach later?" Castle found himself asking as she began applying sunscreen to her arms and legs. No, he wasn't asking. He was pushing her. He didn't want anything to hold her back, especially not this.

"Did you buy a private beach, Castle?" she returned, but the curve of her mouth turned it into a joke.

"What's the point of getting you a bikini if I can't show you off to all the other unlucky men out there?"

Oh, if Alexis weren't in the pool… if they were alone...

"Somehow I don't think you bought this swimsuit for other men," Kate responded with an arch of her eyebrow.

Her answer got to him. It was true. The last thing on earth he had considered when buying it was what other men would think about when they saw her in it. All he thought about was how he would feel at the sight of her, what the sight of her always did to him, whether she was in miniscule strips of fabric or a turtleneck and long pants. But he had another motive in buying the bikini besides indulging in one of his own personal fantasies regarding Kate Beckett.

"You're right, I didn't. I bought it for you."

Her gaze locked on his, and suddenly, she understood. That was the crux of it, really, the entire reason Castle had bought it. She wanted it – had stared at it in that store with more than a little longing – but she hadn't bought it. And more than just wanting her to have it, he wanted her to have the desire to put it on. He wanted her to know how beautiful she would look in it, did look in it.

"You look amazing, by the way," he pointed out. She blushed at the compliment and he tried to deflect the situation into something easier to deal with, adding, "I really like the color."

"Yeah, me too," she agreed readily, obviously glad to move on to a safer topic. "Purple is one of my favorite colors."

Favorite colors include: purple. Another layer of the Beckett onion peeled away.

The next thing he learned about Kate was exactly how loudly she could scream as he picked her up, unsuspecting, and threw her into the pool without ceremony. As she resurfaced next to a laughing Alexis, Kate wiped the water from her eyes before yelling and splashing at him in indignation. But she was not angry. Rather, she was smiling at him as though plotting her revenge. And Castle he realized something else about his new girlfriend, something he should have figured out long ago.

Deep down, despite protests to the contrary, Kate liked surprises.


	2. Traditions

**Chapter 2: Traditions**

Kate told him it was cliché, but he insisted that it was tradition. Alexis joined his side of the argument, and even Martha backed him up.

"Every year we compete in the sandcastle competition. No exceptions," Castle told her.

Of course, there were exceptions, his mother had quietly told her later – such as the year Alexis had spent that weekend with her mother in California or the time Castle had been forced to go on a summer book tour in Europe. But they never intentionally missed the contest.

"It's a lot of fun, Kate," Alexis told her, and the young woman did not even sound awkward using her first name any more. The two of them were still not on completely clear ground, but at least they were getting there.

At first, Kate had begged off, mentioning just staying at the house and reading a book. After all, if it was a family tradition, and she had no wish to interject herself. But after all three family members heartily encouraging her to join them, how could she argue?

They set out for the beach early in the morning to stake out their spot - not too far from the water's edge, but not so close as to be wiped out at high tide, either. Other groups and families were also arriving to begin their sandcastles. The air had a quality of charged energy as everyone began working. And Castle, of course, had a plan.

"We're building an actual castle?" Kate asked, looking at the paper he had sketched with Alexis the night before. "Isn't that a little...?" Typical? Overdone? Ironic?

"Its tradition," he defended, and even Alexis gave a pouty look at her words.

Backtracking, Kate decided to outline an addition that might make their entry just a little more unique. After all, while it was tradition to make a sand castle in the sandcastle competition, every plan had room for improvements. After listening to her idea, Castle and Alexis both agreed enthusiastically. It could definitely work.

The morning hours were full of the dull drudgery of making a sandcastle foundation. This task of course involved Castle digging a large hole so they could use the sand to build up around the hole. Except, this time, instead of just digging a large hole, he dug a ringed hole in the sand with a large center aisle of undisturbed sand in the center. The island was not large enough to stand on, but it was big enough to build a central tower, the last defense against invading hordes.

"Hordes of what?" Kate asked Castle with a laugh.

"Orcs?" he threw out, then revised it. "Trolls. No, alien invaders."

"Wouldn't alien invaders just fly over the walls in their space ships?"

"Stop ruining my castle fantasies with your logic, woman," he said, making her laugh even harder.

Outside the ring, which Alexis took to calling the interior moat, they built a circular battlement several feet deep which would house the villagers in case of attach by Orcs. Martha, sitting in a foldable chaise lounge several feet away, bedecked in a broad straw hat and a cover-up shielding most of her body from the rising sun, asked, "So the villagers are the first to die if there's an attack?"

"The villagers can retreat to the inner tower, which is completely defensible because of the interior mote," Castle argued.

"That is if any attackers can get past our first line of defense," Alexis said.

The elder woman asked, "And that is?"

"The dragon!" Castle's eyes lit up as he said it, fully embracing Kate's suggested addition to their summer contest entry. "We shall call him Smaug," he declared with an evil laugh.

"We're not calling him Smaug," Alexis retorted. While she too was a Tolkien fan, she much preferred a different name for their loyal, purely defensive dragon. "We're calling him Falkor."

He pouted and pointed out that the dragon from The Neverending Story was not nearly terrifying enough. But Alexis argued that if the dragon was too scary, the villagers would never go out to till the fields.

"Kate, you be the deciding vote. Smaug or Falkor?" Castle said.

Not even minding that she had been shoved in the middle of the debate, Kate grinned at him in the bright sunlight and said, "What about Toothless?"

"Toothless?" he repeated, a little affronted. "You want to name our dragon, the dragon that will defend the helpless villagers and serve as the castle's first line of defense… _Toothless_?"

"It's from the movie, Dad, _How to Train Your Dragon_," Alexis pointed out. "I love that movie."

Undeterred, Castle turned to Martha. "Mother, you now get to be the deciding vote."

"I like Kate's suggestion," she answered. "Lends a certain irony to the whole endeavor."

"Toothless can still breathe fire, Dad," Alexis added. "And he can blend in with the night sky."

"So not so useful during the day, then?"

Rolling her eyes at the turn the discussion had taken, Kate suggested, "Why don't we call him Falkor, Son of Smaug."

"And Toothless to his friends," Alexis readily added.

Castle mumbled something about dragons not having friends but otherwise let it go. They spent most of the rest of the afternoon focusing on building the sand castle with him and Kate working from inside the moat while Alexis crafted the body of the dragon. Martha 'supervised' and occasionally passed out bottles of water to keep everyone hydrated.

"I can't believe you do this every year," Kate said to Castle after a while.

"Well, we started when Alexis was three. She spent more time getting sand in her bath suit than actually building anything, but we had a good time. It sort of evolved from there."

His eyes were misty with nostalgia at the memory and it suddenly occurred to Kate that this was not just a tradition. It was a father-daughter tradition, the kind that could very well be interrupted or discontinued in the next few years by Alexis beginning college. She suddenly felt very privileged to have been included in the family affair.

"Have you ever won the contest?" she asked.

"Not once," he replied.

"Well maybe this year."

She gave him a smile and redoubled her efforts on the inner tower, carefully molding wet sand into tower-like shapes. While she sensed that winning wasn't as important to Castle as spending time with his daughter, it would be memorable for this year to be the time they won. And Kate wanted that for him, that feeling of pride and accomplishment that came with not only doing something with his family, but doing it well enough to be recognized.

Throughout the day, she watched as he interacted with Alexis. She could picture them fifteen years earlier, a young dad chasing a red-haired toddler in the sand as the girl screamed with delight. She adored that about him - not just his boundless energy, but also his infinite love for his child.

Periodically, he would hug or touch Alexis, just because he wanted to have that contact, that closeness. Their time together during the summer before her first year at Columbia was rapidly growing shorter. Kate remembered that time in her own life, spending a few precious months with her parents before heading off to Stanford – some of the last memories she had with her mom.

Kate smiled at these displays of affection until Castle caught her watching them. She looked away for a moment, but when she looked back, she could see just as much love in his eyes for her. A short time later, she felt him wrap his arms around her and press his face into her hair.

"You smell like sunscreen," he noted.

"Of course I do," she laughed in return. He had been forcing them to re-apply every hour and a half all day. "Are you having fun?"

"I'm building a sand castle with the three most important women in my life," he responded, as if it was the most ridiculous question she could have asked. "Of course I am. Are you having fun?"

"I always have fun with you," she said, returning his 'what a ridiculous question' tone. "But we better get back to work if we want to win this thing."

My mid afternoon, the structure was complete. A center tower surrounded by a deep and impenetrable interior moat ringed by another outer fortress, which was protected by the imposing figure of a scaled dragon crouching in the sand. The four of them stood to one side, surveying their work as the sun beat down on their backs. The judges were already working their way down the beach.

"You'll still do this every year even when I'm in college, right, Dad?" Alexis asked suddenly. She seemed a little nervous about letting the tradition die.

"Sure," he said even before realizing that she had said 'you' and not 'we.' But once the understanding of her word choice truly hit him, he looked grimly ahead. College would be full of new opportunities and activities for Alexis, and it was impossible for the teenager to promise she would always be able to make it to the beach on the weekend of the sandcastle competition. But knowing that he would carry on the tradition, even without her, perhaps made it easier to move on into her adult life.

Unobtrusively, Kate reached down and took his hand, interlacing their fingers. "Of course you will," she encouraged him. "Its tradition."

Castle looked at her in surprise, and gently squeezed her hand in thanks for her understanding.

Traditions were important to him, Kate recognized. This knowledge was also something she needed to keep in mind because she knew, deep down in her soul – and probably had known since that first moment he opened the loft door three weeks earlier to see her dripping rainwater onto the floor– that they would very soon be making their own traditions.

Unfortunately, first prize went to a team a little way down the beach. Martha had spied on the entry – a space station – and pronounced it _marvelous_, although, she backtracked at their sullen expressions, the traditional sandcastle design was nice too. They did receive a compliment from one of the judges for the added element of the dragon, but it was not enough to swing the votes.

"Ah, well, there's always next year," Castle said as they headed home. Despite repeated sunscreen applications, the three hard workers all had pink cheeks and shoulders from the day spent in the sun.

"Next year we should plan ahead," Alexis stated. "We can get a better water retrieval system and maybe work on a way to erect scaffolding."

"Do you suppose it would be against the rules to use glue?" her dad asked. "Cause I think the space station team used glue. There's no other way to explain it…"

They discussed their plan of attack for the next year's competition all the way back to the house while Kate and Martha followed behind. As they walked, Martha said to her, "I'm glad you went out there with them today."

Kate shrugged. "I am too, although I have to admit, I wasn't sure if I should interrupt their time together."

"Darling, the fact that Richard wants you here speaks volumes. He almost never let the women he used to date near Alexis. He even kept Gina at arm's length from her after they were married. Unconsciously, of course."

"Well, I've known all of you for so long…" Kate began, but then stopped. There was no need to explain it away. She would take Castle's inclusiveness as it was intended – both a compliment to her and an indication of their future plans together. "I'm really glad to be here, Martha," she told the older woman frankly.

She wished she could say more, could express exactly how she felt about Castle. But she had difficulty saying the words, especially to his mother. They had been together a little over three weeks, and things were still so new – both exciting and scary.

"I think he picked well this time," Martha said, giving her a motherly smile before moving to catch up with her son and granddaughter. While Alexis followed her into the house, Castle hung back to talk to Kate.

"I'm glad you came out today," he told her.

He had that serious look about him, the one he kept separate from his goofy, joke-cracking side. While she enjoyed both aspects of his personality, she was not yet sure which she liked better. Funny Castle could make her laugh, or at least smile, no matter how bad her mood. But solemn Castle could comfort her and make her feel special on a completely different level.

"So am I, Castle," Kate said. "So am I."

For the first time in a very long time, she actually felt like a member of a real family.


	3. I Know

**A/N:** I really appreciate all the positive responses to this story! Thank you for the reviews and please continue to let me know what you think.

I decided to switch the perspectives in each chapter to sort of give a rounder view of how I see this process of Kate and Castle beginning a relationship, which of course will impact more than just the two of them. Hopefully it won't be too confusing. Oh, and spoilers for Star Wars in this chapter? I find it odd saying that but every year I meet new people who have never seen the films, so consider this a warning just in case.

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**Chapter 3: I Know**

The more time she spent around the former detective, the more Alexis liked her. Trusting her was difficult at first because of everything she had put her dad through, but Kate seemed intent on making up for her past transgressions. And she really seemed to like Alexis' dad.

She smiled at him a lot, Alexis noticed, and not in the fake, superficial way so many women did. Kate's smiles reached her eyes, and she rarely bestowed them if others were watching too closely. The woman was guarded - always had been, as Alexis recalled - but she seemed less so around her dad.

Now, her dad was smitten. No question there. Of course, he had harbored a crush on Detective Beckett for a long time. But with Kate, he was positively smitten. Alexis had never seen him like that with any other woman. With Gina he was cool and detached, acting more like the adult the publicist wanted him to be. With other women he played the part of playboy writer and bad boy celebrity.

But with Kate - he was himself. His usual, goofy, expressive, loving self. And Kate accepted it, encouraged it even.

"That's two houses on Endor Forest," Kate said, quoting the rental price listed on the property card.

Sorting through the small stack of bills in front of him, Castle grumbled, "Who builds houses in the middle of the forest on Endor anyway..."

Of course, he was short, and he had already mortgaged most of his properties to pay for the time he had landed on the Ewok Village several turns earlier. The green squares were on the most expensive side of the board, and even one or two houses could bankrupt an unprepared player.

Seeing his financial distress, Kate offered, "I'll take your Hoth property and call it even."

It was one of his last unmortgaged pieces of land. With a dissatisfied sigh, he handed it over to her then passed the dice to Alexis. She rolled doubles and landed on her own property, one tile away from Castle's only hope of making any money – one of the yellow Death Star trio with one house on each.

"I can't believe you have the limited edition," Kate said, repeating the comment she had made earlier when they first began setting up the game. "I've never seen one outside of the box."

Star Wars Monopoly was a rainy day activity, not a last resort, but usually something pulled out when beach plans were ruined by thunder, lightening, and sheets of rain. While Alexis had chosen the pewter Princess Leia token, her father had made his traditional choice of Darth Vader, making the same, "Leia, I am your father," joke he normally did. Unsurprisingly, Gram had chosen to retire to her bedroom for an afternoon nap rather than play. However, Kate joined the game eagerly, fishing out the Boba Fett token for herself.

This side of Kate surprised Alexis, although her father seemed less than shocked by the woman's carefully hidden geek interior. Somehow, playing Star Wars monopoly with Alexis and her dad on a rainy day had never occurred to her as something Kate would enjoy. But the woman's genuine enjoyment of both the game and the underlying genre was heartening.

After two hours of play, Alexis and Kate were in a dead heat while Castle trailed behind pitifully, just barely managing to stay solvent despite a run of bad luck and ill-advised business ventures.

"I'll trade you a Tattoine for that Hoth you just got from Dad," Alexis offered her. While her father knew not to bargain with her at this point in the game, Kate had not yet learned that lesson.

But the former cop's natural suspicion kicked in at the unequal trade offer. Alexis had fewer hotels on the board – in this version of the game, they were called 'spaceports,' as her father once corrected her - but she had a fair amount of cash tucked away, just waiting for the right investment.

"Okay, but only if you throw in Yoda's Hut on Dagobah," Kate countered shrewdly. It was the cheapest property on the board and was barely worth the money to build a hotel, let alone a house. But Kate wanted it.

"An extra $500 and you have a deal," Alexis responded.

As the property and money changed hands, Castle noted, "I have a bad feeling about this."

Placing her newly acquired properties in front of her, Kate quietly intoned in imitation of the Jedi Master whose house she had just bought, "The force is strong in this one, hmm."

Dead silence greeted her words for exactly three seconds before father and daughter both began laughing uncontrollably. Kate looked from one to the other, smiling, but uncertain why what she had said would garner such a reaction.

Finally, Castle was able to control his amusement enough to explain, "That is the worst Yoda impression I have ever heard."

"Don't be mean, Dad," Alexis scolded, but she too could not help but giggle at the attempt. "But in all fairness, Kate, that was pretty bad."

Pretending to be put out at the slight, Kate challenged her, "Well let's hear your Yoda."

"Do or do not. There is no try," she said, putting as much of the little green Jedi into her voice as she could muster. The attempt met with as much laughter as Kate's rendition.

Of course, Castle nailed it on his try. "May the force be with you."

Both women laughed anyway even though it was an excellent impression. Pleased with their obvious amusement, he switched to Admiral Akbar. "It's a twap!"

After several more impressions, they all settled back into their seats laughing. But Castle looked at Kate and made an observation. "You were wrong, by the way."

"About what?"

"Yoda didn't say, 'The force is strong in this one.' That was Darth Vader's line."

Not to be outdone in Star Wars trivial, Kate responded, "No, he said it to Obi-Wan Kenobi on Dagoba, talking about Luke."

"Nope."

"I think she's right, Dad," Alexis put in, although her father's certainty made her doubt herself.

Her father fixed her with a look of utter betrayal. "Et tu, Brute?" he said, clutching his chest in mock pain.

"Well there is an easy way to resolve this," Kate pointed out. "Do you have the movies here?"

Glancing at his daughter, Castle repeated with a knowing grin, "Do we have the movies here?"

And thus, they abandoned the monopoly game - which had already begun to lose its appeal as a diversion with the standoff between Alexis and Kate - in favor of an impromptu Star Wars marathon. Alexis chose to recline on the carpeted floor with a pillow while the two older adults curled up together on the couch.

By the time Luke Skywalker was setting off from Dagoba in search of his friends, they had entirely forgotten the purpose behind watching the movies and instead were engrossed in the storyline. Alexis made a mental note that her father was correct - Yoda did not say that particular quote - but looking up at him sitting with Kate, she could tell he no longer cared. The two were close together, although not disgustingly so. In fact, they just looked like a couple in love.

Fighting a surge of jealousy at the sight of their closeness, Alexis forced herself to focus on the positive. Her father was happy. Kate Beckett was a good person, if not a little emotionally stunted from her mother's murder. But the former detective had been making strides since giving up on that investigation. She had quit her job, finally gotten together with Alexis' father, and even agreed to spend a summer at the Hamptons with the entire Castle clan. At least Kate was trying.

Alexis turned her attention back to the movie, watching with rapt attention until Leia said those three little words that made romantic science fiction history, "I love you."

And of course, Han Solo's imfamous response as he was lowered into the carbonite chamber, "I know."

Alexis thought little about the exchange until later that evening, after the movies had ended and everyone had gone to bed. She snuck down to the kitchen for a glass of water only to stop at the sound of voices. They were not whispering, exactly, but it was clear that their conversation was not meant for others to hear. Kate's voice was light and care free in a way Alexis had never heard before, and her father sounded happy. Genuinely happy.

Before turning to go back to her room, Alexis heard Kate say softly, "I love you."

She froze, wondering if she was overhearing a particularly important moment in the couple's history. But of course, her father responded with, "I know."

Something about the way he spoke caused Alexis to pause. Her father had dated a number of women in the past, some of whom she had even gotten to meet. But he never fell so heavily in love that she worried about him, not since he had been burned by her mother's infidelity. Even with Gina, he had tried to make it work but his heart was not really in it. Perhaps he thought it was at the time, but now that Alexis had a real example of him being in love to gauge it on, Gina was more of a distraction from loneliness.

No, this time her dad really was in love. He had progressed beyond smitten long ago into a sad unrequited love while he waited for Kate to come around. But now, with her in the house and the two of them sharing a bedroom and making eyes at each other across the monopoly board on the kitchen table... this was the real thing.

Ascending the stairs back to her room, Alexis hoped - not just for her dad's sake, but also for Kate's - that they would not mess it up.


	4. First Impressions

**A/N:** I will be away from my computer for the weekend so probably no new updates until Monday. On the bright side, I'm going to the beach, so hopefully that will provide inspiration for more chapters of this story. Hope everyone is enjoying the quasi-fluff so far. I appreciate all the reviews!

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**Chapter 4: First Impressions**

To Castle, watching Kate never got old. Even if she was only performing the mundane tasks of existence, such as fixing breakfast for the four of them, she moved with enviable grace and beauty. Her hands always instinctively landed on the proper items despite her unfamiliarity with the kitchen and she never dropped or broke anything. She also tended to bite her lip a lot in concentration, a trait he found endearing.

The one thing that concerned him was the way she fried bacon. It sizzled on the skillet she was attending, but the temperature was too high, causing occasional pops which would send grease arching out of the pan and producing minor burns to whatever it landed on, including Kate's skin.

"Ouch," she muttered after another such pop, jumping slightly as the grease hit her.

"You have the temperature on too high-" Castle started, approaching so that he could turn down the knob on the stove. But Kate held up her spatula like a defensive weapon.

"I told you I'm cooking," she said. "That means stay out of the kitchen."

"But you're going to hurt yourself," he pointed out.

"It's just a little grease, Castle. I'm fine. Why don't you go out on the porch with your mother and Alexis?"

But he preferred to stay and watch her, even if he did wince each time he heard that popping sound. Thankfully, Kate was finishing up with the bacon and ready to shift her focus to scrambling eggs and flipping pancakes, thereby relieving his bacon grease anxieties. And not worrying about her hurting herself meant he could focus on other things.

"You know, you're sexy when you're bossy," he observed. Actually, she was sexy all the time, just _especially_ sexy when she was bossy.

Smirking back at him, she asked, "Is that why you fell for me, 'cause I'm bossy?"

"Among other qualities."

She gave him a flirty smile with the question and Castle briefly toyed with the idea of letting the rest of breakfast burn so he could take her back to their bedroom for a few more hours.

"Such as?"

Hmm... so this was how she wanted to play the game. Flexing his mental writer's muscles, he began, "Well, you're gorgeous, of course. That particular attribute was hard to miss right off the bat."

She rolled her eyes at him and he continued, "You are also... challenging. You won't back down from anything." Well, almost anything. She had given up her mother's case, but Castle in no way saw that as a weakness. In fact, he saw it as proof that Kate could grow and get past the things that had always held her back.

He continued, "You're strong and you're smart. I don't mean just book smart. Rather, you're... savvy. Confident. Insightful. You can see nuances most people just don't get and use them to figure out more."

Kate smiled at his description. He wanted to stay away from any discussion of the career she had given up at the beginning of the summer, but there was no getting around the fact that was how the two of them met. Most of their interactions were in the context of a police investigation, at least in the beginning. And while he understood Kate's need to find herself beyond the NYPD, it was clear that being a detective was something she had been really good at.

"You are also kind and incredibly good with people. You have a way of talking to others, whether it is a suspect or a grieving family or the barista at Starbucks… You probably don't even realize it most of the time, but you are… captivating."

Fighting the pleased grin that was threatening to take over, Kate ducked her head at the description so full of easy compliments. He could tell she liked having nice things said about her, that she had no false modesty in that regard, but hearing them stated aloud was sometimes difficult for her.

"And aside from the fact that you cheat at monopoly, you look fantastic in a bikini."

Her mouth dropped open in shock before she protested, "I do not cheat at monopoly!"

Ignoring her rebuttal, Castle put on his best expression of excitement and said, "Okay, now do me."

Her indignance at being accused of cheating faded into one of subtle sexiness. "Oh, I plan to Castle. But right now breakfast is ready and I'm sure Alexis and Martha are hungry."

Castle pouted at putting the conversation on hold but helped her take the food out to the breakfast table on the patio where his mother and daughter were already waiting. The four of them chatted together over the meal Kate had prepared, mostly about Alexis' upcoming college experience. Kate even told them a few stories about some of her first year college exploits, which led to Castle telling a few stories of his own.

Once breakfast was over, Alexis and his mother headed out to do some 'college clothes' shopping. Although they invited Kate as well, she kindly declined the offer in favor of staying at the house with Castle. He was secretly glad she decided to stay behind. As much as he loved his family and wanted Kate to bond with them, he had not gotten nearly enough time alone with her since arriving at the house in the Hamptons. Evidently Kate felt the same way as she suggested that they go for a walk as soon as Alexis and his mother had left the house.

As they strolled on the beach, having taken off their shoes to walk in the wet sand and surf, Castle found himself reveling in the simple pleasure of just holding her hand. Sometimes he felt that if he could just keep touching her, just maintain that contact, everything would be okay. All of their problems and worries could fade into the background.

Her voice was almost drowned out by the sound of the waves when she spoke. "It was your words."

Surprised by the sudden sentence, Castle said, "What?"

"That's what first attracted me to you," she clarified, her eyes moving from the stretch of beach in front of them to look at him. "Your words."

"I always knew you were a fan," he noted with a grin.

She smiled back, but he recognized it as a sad smile. "Yes, I was a fan before we met."

Sensing that there was more, Castle remained silent with his attention focused on her. As though the weight of his gaze was too much for her, Kate turned her eyes back to the beach, looking down as the tide brought salt water lapping around their feet.

"When my mom died, I... I had a rough time. My dad drowned himself in a bottle and I... I read your books. Sometimes over and over again. And I'm pretty sure they are what got me through. You got me through it, Castle, long before we ever met."

Her confession brought with it the image of a teenage Kate Beckett, stricken by grief over the loss of her mother and worry for her father, sitting alone in her room with one of his novels clutched in her shaking hands. He had imagined her reading his books before - usually in a bubble bath with a glass of wine. But it never occurred to him that his writing had been so important in her life and so early. She had never let on, never said anything...

Talk about a new layer to the Beckett onion.

"I didn't know," he said finally. "Thank you for telling me."

She nodded, sneaking a glance at him as she squeezed his hand.

"Also..." She immediately had his attention again. "I got your autograph once. Stood in line at the book store for hours."

"You- what?"

He stopped in his tracks, the sudden halt bringing her up short through their connected hands, and Kate turned back to him. She had actually... met him before they'd ever met? The thought had never occurred to him and try as he might, he could not wrap his mind around it.

"You autographed a book, Castle. Don't worry, you didn't sign my chest or anything."

Her voice was playful and light, a direct contrast to the emotions flooding through Castle like one of those waves on the beach. He had long ago learned to deal with the fact that people knew who he was and knew his background (at least what was included in the dust jacket biography) before he even met them. But to think Kate was counted in that number, the woman who had barely tolerated him at first, who had gotten used to him pulling on her pigtails, who had eventually admitted to loving him-

"What... what did I say? Do? Did I do...? What happened?"

Kate smiled reassuringly, although she seemed a little confused at why this detail was so affecting him. "You said hello, thank you for reading. You asked for my name and signed the book. There were hundreds of other people in line, so it wasn't a long conversation, Castle."

"When was this?"

"I don't know," she shrugged. "A few years before we met."

He suspected that she knew it down to the date but did not push. The information so rocked him that he was having trouble processing it. If only something had happened that day, if only he had gotten a few minutes with her - so much would have been different. They could have found each other that much sooner and they could have had that much more time together.

Or, just as likely, it wouldn't have been the right time at all. He could have even been married to Gina at the time, and that would have been a fiasco. Besides, he would not have necessarily trusted his younger self to recognize the Kate Beckett he now knew and loved. Even during their first case together, while he had been immediately drawn to her, he was too wrapped up in the physical attraction to see how much else lay below the surface.

Pulling himself together, Castle asked, "Have I ever told you how happy I am that you arrested me?"

Smirking at the question, Kate responded, "Which time?"

Oh, they really did have the best 'how we met story' didn't they? And there were so many other great memories involving the two of them and a pair of handcuffs...

"All of them."

"Me too, Castle. Me too." She gave him a look of such sincere love and affection, he wondered how he could have ever done without her.

As they continued down the beach, Castle marveled at how truly amazing it was that they had finally found each other.

"It's good that you're so charming because after I arrested you, I found you really annoying," Kate added playfully.

"I do have that way with people," he acknowledged.

He remembered her complaining to Montgomery about him, not to mention a hundred times she had rolled her eyes or chastised him. It somewhat saddened him to think that they would never have that working relationship again, where she was in charge and in her element and he was not just a permitted visitor but an actual asset and partner.

Kate must have been thinking along the same lines because she said quietly, wistfully, "You know, I miss it, but I don't miss it. Does that make sense?"

Castle nodded. It did make sense. He missed the fun times – solving murderers, interrogating suspects, interviewing witnesses, goofing around with the guys. He did not miss people shooting at them. He did not miss worrying about Kate every day that he did not go into the precinct and every day that he did.

"Have you given any thought to what you want to do now?" he asked tentatively, not wanting to rush her.

"I don't know yet. Still figuring it out."

Her response sounded a little lost, although it was clear from her expression that Kate was anything but lost. The way she squeezed his hand and gazed at him with open, adoring eyes, she knew exactly where she was and where she wanted to be.

Then she stopped their leisurely walk and kissed him as they stood in the surf, waves washing around their ankles and burying their feet in the sand. It was something they did periodically, just stop and kiss, for no other reason than because they now _could_.

And if kissing him involved the only future plans Kate wanted to think about, Castle was completely okay with that.


	5. Anniversaries

**A/N: **Completely unrelated to this fic, but funny story... I convinced my best friend to start watching Castle a couple of months ago. She's been slowly catching up until last Friday, she finally got the last disk of season 3 via Netflix. By Sunday night she had switched to Hulu and gotten through episode 4x13 and asked if she could skip ahead to Always.

As always, thank you for the reviews!

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**Chapter 5: Anniversaries**

"He was hitting on you!"

"He was not hitting on me," Kate said, exasperated. They had been engaged in the same argument most of the drive back to the house from the restaurant. Castle insisted the waiter was flirting with her whereas Kate believed the young man was only being friendly.

"He complimented your dress," Castle pointed out.

"He was being nice," she stated. "Probably to get a better tip."

Besides, it was a nice dress. Castle had gone with her shopping and helped pick it out. And he did have excellent taste.

"He was trying to get something," the writer muttered darkly, and something about his unwarranted jealousy irritated her. She had done nothing to encourage that waiter. She had only been polite. And yet, Castle acted as though she had been caught cavorting with the guy in a store room or something.

"I don't know why you're acting like this," Kate huffed.

Luckily, they were alone in the house so no one would hear their fight. Alexis had gone back to New York with Martha to prepare for a summer 'preview' at Columbia the following week.

Castle shot back, "And I don't know why you won't admit that he was hitting on you."

Her mouth opened to respond, but before she could speak, his expression stopped her. He looked... not angry. No, not jealous, either. He looked... afraid? Nervous, maybe? What could he possibly be nervous about?

"Fine, he may have been flirting with me," she conceded, although her tone made it clear she gave the ground grudgingly. "I didn't really notice."

But her response only made Castle more agitated. "How could you not notice? He was fawning all over you. 'Would you like extra napkins? Can I refill your water glass? Let me know if you need anything.'"

Under any other circumstances, the snoody accent he ascribed to the waiter would have made her laugh, but the absurdity of their argument was starting to really get to her.

"Maybe I didn't notice because I was more interested in my date," she said. "You know, that good looking famous writer that always gets stopped for autographs."

The words made Castle pause before turning to look at her, really look at her, perhaps for the first time since they had left the restaurant.

"I don't flirt back," he said quietly. "Not any more, at least."

"Did you see me flirting with that waiter?" Kate demanded, her anger reignited.

"No," he admitted, grudgingly. "I just didn't want him hitting on you during our one month anniversary dinner."

Oh.

Now they were at the heart of the matter. Their one month anniversary. It had completely slipped Kate's mind. When Castle had suggested they go out for a nice dinner at a fancy restaurant, she had readily agreed. But it had not occurred to her that it was actually a special occasion. She had never been in a relationship which celebrated such milestones, at least not since high school.

But it was clear to her that the occasion meant something to Castle. And through ignorance, she had not acknowledged it. And then that damn waiter had offered to refill her water glass - probably a few more times than was absolutely necessary.

"I'm sorry, Rick. I didn't realize it was our anniversary."

Her apology was genuine, as was her use of his first name. It still sounded foreign on her tongue, wrong somehow for their relationship. So she only brought it out on special occasions, like the fine china.

"Yeah, well..." His eyes were glued to the ground so she stepped closer, intent on engaging them with her own. But he steadfastly refused to look at her, pouting in a way that reminded her of a little boy. But instead of annoying her, she found his reaction endearing.

"You should have told me," Kate said gently, and she reached out one hand to tilt his face up to look at her. "Castle, I'm not used to being in this kind of relationship. This kind of stuff - one month anniversaries - I'm not good at. So I need your help."

"The anniversary thing was stupid-" he began, but she silenced him with a kiss. Not a simple kiss, either. No, she kissed him like it was their one month anniversary.

"Not stupid," she announced a moment later as they broke apart. "Not stupid at all."

"I got you a present," he said, finally perking up a little.

And now, she felt like crap again. She really needed to put an alert on her phone or something. Not that she would have any idea what to buy him for a one-month anniversary.

Instead, she confessed, "Castle, I didn't get you anything."

"Oh, don't worry. This present is for me, too."

As he disappeared upstairs to the bedroom to retrieve the gift, Kate sat down on the living room couch. Despite the waiter fiasco, their evening out had been wonderful. Castle had taken her to one of his favorite restaurants in the area, having reserved a table that overlooked the beach. Their conversation was light and wistful with Castle making her laugh through most of the meal. It sometimes surprised her how much she just enjoyed talking with him.

She wished that she had thought to convince him to go walking on the beach after dinner rather than coming straight back to the house. Maybe she could have broken through his bad mood that much sooner.

Castle returned a moment later with a familiar box in hand, the only wrapping being a single red ribbon tied in a bow.

"This isn't another bathing suit, is it?" she teased him as she accepted the gift.

Castle snorted as he answered, "Better."

As she opened the box and removed the garment within, it was clearly not a bathing suit. No, Castle had upgraded from a skimpy bikini to a lovely, silky, and skimpy nightgown. The pale lavender color shimmered with a sort of iridescent effect.

"It's beautiful, Castle," she remarked.

"Not as beautiful as you," he said before leaning down to kiss her. The kiss was full and passionate as he told her with his lips exactly what he wanted to do to her with his body. By the time he pulled away, Kate had grown a little flustered with the desire coiling in her belly. "Happy Anniversary," he whispered, low and sexy.

"Happy Anniversary," she repeated. Glancing down at the nightgown her hands, she looked back up at him and said, "Why don't you make yourself comfortable on the couch and I'll just go… freshen up?"

He agreed to her suggestion and Kate made her way up the stairs to the bedroom they had been sharing since arriving in the Hamptons. She quickly shimmied out of her dress and changed into the nightgown, noting without surprise that it was exactly the right size. How on earth did he do that? She quickly descended the stairs again and spotted him exactly where she had left him – sitting on the couch.

Castle turned to look at her, and his expression betrayed both lust and loving affection. He did not look so bad himself in a well tailored suit and blue dress shirt exactly matching the color of his eyes. The man was definitely good looking.

While he began to stand as she approached, Kate waved at him to stay seated. His confusion quickly turned to realization as she moved towards him. Even though she was wearing a very revealing negligee, she did not let that stop her from giving off the aura of the huntress rather than the hunted. She watched as Castle swallowed drying as she reached his seated form.

"Happy Anniversary," Kate said, moving to straddle his lap as she faced him on the couch. Then she kissed him and Kate realized something new about herself. She was going to like all this relationship anniversary stuff.

* * *

As they snuggled together on the couch later, an afghan pulled up to cover both of them, Kate once again thanked that fates that be for Alexis and Martha being back in the city that night, allowing them the privacy to take over the living room.

"Mmm… I think I like anniversaries," Kate murmured sleepily.

"Good," Castle replied. "Because our five week anniversary is coming up in a week. I was going to wait until six weeks, but I think five is a milestone which just begs celebration."

She laughed at him then began to stretch her legs out. But he curled an arm tightly around her when she began to sit up.

"Not going anywhere," he mumbled into her skin, closing his eyes.

"Castle, we can't stay on the couch all night. Let's go up to the bedroom," she suggested.

"Nope." He wouldn't budge. "Have everything I need right here."

She snorted at his sudden childishness but let him have his way as she snuggled back down into the couch with him. But no matter how hard she tried to relax, sleep just would not come. She knew his mother and daughter would not be bustling in any moment – she knew that, logically she did – and yet she worried about it anyway. It was the sort of worry that tickled the back of her brain and kept the rest of the synapses firing.

"Castle," she whispered, knowing from his breathing that he had not fallen asleep either.

"Sleep," he muttered back, obviously resisting her conversation attempts.

Taking a different tact, Kate asked, "Do you still think that waiter was flirting with me?"

"Mmm... nope. Jus' a good waiter. Go back and tip 'im tomorrow."

She laughed his name, "Castle-" and would have said more but he interrupted.

"Sleep now, Kate," he said shifting both of their bodies so that she was more comfortable against him. The heat of him was delicious against her and rather than pull her into a warm cocoon of fatigued slumber, it had the opposite effect than he had likely intended.

"Castle…" she intoned, this time in more of a 'come hither' voice she knew he could not resist.

Barely reacting, he responded in a monotone voice, "Jus' a few hours, Kate. Need beauty rest…"

Her arsenal of weapons now almost completely depleted, Kate frowned. Why did she want to get up so much anyway? The only thing the bed upstairs had was a little more room and a lot more privacy. And it was silly to worry about Alexis and Martha showing up suddenly. She should put that fear out of her head.

After all, she had a naked writer – an exhausted naked writer, granted – at her fingertips, recovering from a night of special anniversary celebrating. And he would likely be recharged in just a couple of hours, allowing them to 'celebrate' once again.

This time, Kate did not fight the weights on her eyes as they drug down her eyelids and closed out the world. She let herself be mesmerized by Castle's even breathing, the amazing heat of his body against hers, and the half-imagined sound of distance ocean waves. She needed her rest, after all.

Their five week anniversary was only a week away.


	6. Quiet

A/N: Yeah, so I don't know much about the Hamptons. I've never been to New York and they may not have areas like this up there. But let's pretend anyway.

Thank you for everyone who has reviewed. I really appreciate the feedback.

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**Chapter 6: Quiet**

Kate had taken to swimming in the pool every morning just as the sun was rising but before the heat of the day really hit. And she did not swim for fun, but rather, she swam laps. Sometimes Castle would get up early just to watch her move back and forth across the pool. Her strength amazed him as much as her endurance. Sometimes he wished she would not pushed herself so hard, but he also knew she would not be the Kate Beckett he knew so well if she settled for less than her personal best.

On one particular morning, she spotted him watching her as she emerged from the pool and pulled a towel around herself. "Spying on me Castle?" she teased.

"You know I like to watch," he returned with a wink as he handed her a bottle of water.

"What do you want to do today?" she asked, taking a swig of water.

Castle shrugged. His plans had not extended further than watching her swim. But their activities over the preceding days had been fairly tame, mostly staying in and watching movies. He could tell that she was growing restless and needed some new stimulations.

"I don't know," he answered, letting his mind turn to all the available possibilities. There was always the beach, although even he was growing weary of sand and sun. They both enjoyed shopping, just at different stores (her for clothes, jackets, and shoes; him for electronics, gadgets, and toys). There were even some parks in the area, but knowing how much she preferred physical activity, he worried that she would have him hiking all over creation.

"We could go skydiving," he suggested. At her wrinkled nose and shaken head he continued, "Parasailing? Horseback riding? Fishing? Karaoke? Chicken dance?"

"Castle, be serious," she admonished, although he could tell she didn't mean it. She had that half smile she used to get when he would pester her while she did paperwork, the one that suggested she secretly enjoyed his jokes and crazy theories despite her protests. "We could pack up a lunch and go for a picnic," she stated.

Oh, he was definitely seeing hiking in his future. But how could he deny her a romantic picnic? Especially when she was standing there in a bathing suit, hair still wet from the pool, looking as beautiful as he had ever seen her.

"That sounds perfect," he said.

They got ready to leave the house at a leisurely pace, packing the items and foodstuffs they would need in a basket Castle found in a forgotten closet. Of course, Kate already had a location picked out, a state park near the ocean with plenty of trail and wilderness to explore. When Castle pointed out that they could drive further into the park on an access road, she laughed at him.

"Kind of missing the point, Castle."

She set a quick pace up the trail, following a map she had gotten at the park entrance, and Castle followed behind her at a more reasonable gait. He was carrying the picnic basket, after all. She had offered to carry it, but there was no way his pride could allow that.

It became clear to Castle as they walked that Kate was looking for a specific place on the map. "Where are we going?" he called out to her.

"You'll see," she answered.

As they continued to walk along the trail, Castle found his initial irritation with the exercise fading away. The trees were actually very pretty and the sky was crisp and clear. The trail was sandy but not too difficult to walk on. Plus they the trail was in the shade, which kept the sun from beating down on them too much.

Finally, they must have reached the area Kate was searching for because she stopped in the middle of the trail just as it opened up into a small grassy clearing. The scenery was beautiful, sun streaming through the break in the trees, illuminating wild flowers and the occasional butterfly. He could hear the ocean nearby and suspected that they were close to a beach as well.

"Good spot?" Kate asked.

"Definitely."

He spread out a blanket they had brought on the ground and began pulling out things from their basket. Reaching around him, Kate grabbed something she must have slipped in when he wasn't looking - a frisbee. "Come on, Castle," she stated, pulling him away from the blanket by the hand.

"Kate-" he started to say, but she was already positioning herself across the clearing. The frisbee went sailing through the air and right to his hand. He automatically sent it flying back to her.

"You're pretty good at this," she commented with a grin. Her enthusiasm proved infectious and within minutes they were in a heated game of throwing the disc back and forth. Castle found that he did not mind the activity so much despite the frequent running to retrieve an erstwhile throw.

"Did you and Alexis used to play when she was little?" Kate asked.

"Sometimes, although we were more laser tag and light saber duel sort of people." He paused for a moment as a thought occurred to him and inquired, "Did you play with your mom when you were growing up?"

"No, it was always my dad and me. She would usually just watch and make us stop to eat once in a while. We would picnic in Central Park and just play for hours."

Castle smiled at the look of wistful remembrance on her face. He loved hearing her memories, the way she would light up as she retold the treasured tales. Anything involving her mother was like priceless gold and he wished Kate would talk about her more often.

"Do you want to take a break and get some food?" he suggested, having grown fatigued by the activity.

She agreed and they settled down on the blanket.

"It's pretty here," he commented as they ate. "Quiet. Not like the city. Sometimes I have trouble even hearing myself think."

"I kind of miss it," Kate admitted.

"The city?"

"The noise," she clarified. "Somehow, I find it comforting to know there are so many people around living out their lives. Plus those months up at my dad's cabin kind of burnt me out on quiet, I think."

The summer they were apart - they had not really discussed it since that day on the swings, despite everything that had happened since then. And suddenly, Castle very much wanted to know.

"What did you do up there?" he asked, reclining on the blanket in a relaxed manner. He wanted her to be at ease knowing what a difficult subject this was for them.

"I just... healed," Kate answered quietly a moment later. She was not looking at him but at the open clearing. "Physically and mentally, I healed. I was such a mess right after, Castle. I know it hurt you that I didn't let you in, but... I'm glad you weren't there. I'm glad you didn't have to see me like that."

"Like what?" he pressed.

"Frustrated. Pissed off at everything. My dad put up with so much from me."

Castle smiled at the image of Jim Beckett taking care of her. "I'm sure he didn't mind."

Kate continued, "For so long, I couldn't do anything. I couldn't lift my arms, so I couldn't even dress myself. I needed help getting to the bathroom, brushing my teeth, even feeding myself. My dad had to cut up my food like I was a child. And I felt so sorry for myself, Castle."

"You were shot in the chest, Kate. I think a little self pity is allowed in those circumstances."

"Not like this. I was... ugly. And so angry." She sighed, and then she looked at him. "But gradually I got better. I could start doing things for myself, and I stopped driving my dad crazy. I did exercises for rehab and I walked in the woods. I read... a lot. I think I re-read every single one of your books."

"Why didn't you call me?" he asked, keeping his voice low and gentle. It wasn't a recrimination - they were done with those. It was a genuine question. "Just to let me know how you were doing..."

"I guess I was afraid to call. I knew how you felt about me and I wasn't ready to face it. At first I worried that if you saw me like that, so messed up, that would color your view of me. I wouldn't be the strong, sexy detective you based Nikki Heat on. And then as time passed and I got better, it felt too late to call."

Castle snorted at that. He would have taken her call no matter how much time had passed. "I should have just called you," he said.

"I told you not to."

"Still."

He should have pushed her, he realized. Sometimes she needed that extra encouragement and sometimes it only made things worse. Castle was still figuring out when to employ which tactic, but he was now fairly certain that if he'd called her during that summer, she would have talked to him. Not every day, but maybe every week, at least for a few minutes.

"Any other questions?" she asked, looking uncomfortable but willing to address whatever he may ask.

"Lots of questions, but we can save them for another day," he offered.

"Then it's my turn. I have a question for you," Kate said.

He wondered what she might ask him about. Perhaps why he acted like such a jerk after finding out about her hearing him that day in the cemetery rather than just confronting her. That was another subject they had skirted.

"Okay."

Her earnest expression turned to one of childish excitement, a look that Castle found very becoming on her. He did not get to see her like that enough.

"Can we throw the frisbee some more?"

Adding 'chasing flying discs' to the mental list of things Kate enjoyed doing, Castle stood up with a grin and took his place across the clearing from her.

"You know, we should get a frisbee that glows in the dark so we can play at night," he said.

"Why play at night?" Kate asked.

Castle responded, "So we could play with a glow-in-the-dark frisbee."

"I can just see you stepping in a hole and twisting your ankle, Castle," she chided with a laugh. "But if you want, when we get back to the city, I'll take you to play disc golf."

"Disc golf?" he asked. He already knew what it was but he loved hearing her explain things to him.

"Yeah, it's like golf but with discs. Not frisbees, but smaller and usually heavier plastic. You go around a course and throw them into these goals that are like baskets with chains to catch the discs. And each time you throw a disc counts against your score like the swing of a golf club."

Castle shrugged, throwing the frisbee to her once more. "I'm willing to try it." He had never been much of a golfer, but he suspected that he would agree to just about any activity Kate wanted to do with him. A moment later, he said, "I never knew you were this into outdoor activities. Swimming, hiking, frisbee, disc golf..."

She smiled back at him before giving him a deliberate wink and answering, "Just wait until we go rollerblading, Castle."


	7. Plenty of Summer Left

**Chapter 7: Plenty of Summer Left**

Kate frowned at the computer screen.

Her anxiety over her unemployment had been steadily growing in the weeks since she'd quit the NYPD, but that morning, it had started to reach a level of her actually doing something about it. After all, she could not live at Castle's house in the Hamptons forever, could she?

Kate suddenly pictured herself acting as a stay-at-home wife and mother, fixing Castle's meals for him while he typed away in his office. She saw herself trying to feed a little brown-haired baby while a toddler pulled at her skirt and called her "Momma."

The unexpected word shook her out of her reverie and she refocused on the screen of Castle's laptop, which she had briefly borrowed. She was not happy with what she saw.

After spending half an hour answering personality questions about herself, the stupid online career placement test recommended that she go into law enforcement. Seriously? That was the best they could do? She had just left a career in law enforcement! Why couldn't they recommend her be a teacher or a lawyer or a racecar driver or something other than a police officer?

Muttering to herself, she exited out of the browser and closed the laptop in a huff.

"Something wrong?"

And of course Castle would walk by just as she was having her little mini-tantrum.

"No," she groused in irritation as she pushed the laptop away from her with greater force than necessary.

"You sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure," Kate snapped, angry at being questioned.

Castle held up his hands in mock surrender, but the gesture just reminded her of her former career, which ramped up her annoyance level even further. With a growl, she pushed herself off the couch and went out the back door to sit by the pool, slamming the door shut behind her. Lowering herself to the edge, she dangled her bare feet into the still water as her hands balled into fists.

Part of her wanted Castle to follow and part of her didn't. She knew she was being unfair to him - he didn't even know what was wrong - but she was growing frustrated and a little panicked over what she wanted to do in life. Because for the first time in as long as she could remember, she did not know.

Growing up, she had always wanted to be a lawyer like her mother. (Well, the only exception were a couple of teenage years in which her rebellious phase made her insist sarcastically that she wanted to start a band and live under a bridge until the band hit the big time.) She had even been pre-law at Stanford before her mother's murder and before she switched her life's ambition to catching the kind of evil people who would stab women in alleys.

A few moments later, she heard footsteps behind her and then Castle was sitting next to her, lowering his own feet into the pool. She looked over at him, suddenly grateful for his presence, her earlier anger evaporating.

"You could always go to law school," he suggested.

Seriously, how did he do that? It was like he could read her mind half the time, and while it was usually pretty cool, at this moment, it was really freaking her-

Perhaps noticing her shocked look, Castle explained, "I checked the browser history on the computer, saw you were researching new career paths."

Oh. So not a mind reader after all. Just a snoop.

"I don't know if I want to be a lawyer," Kate said. "I've been on the inside of the crime scene tape for so long, I'm not sure if I could be objective. Lawyers have to see both sides of things, have to be able to anticipate all the arguments. I think I was a cop too long to do that."

"Lots of cops become lawyers," Castle pointed out.

"Yeah, mostly prosecutors. That's too much like what I just left. And I don't think I could be a defense attorney, defending child abusers and murderers and thugs."

"There are other kinds of law besides criminal," he said. "I happen to know from personal experience that divorce lawyers make a very good living."

Flashing him an amused look, she asked, "Do you really see me as a divorce lawyer?"

"No, not really, although you'd be good at it. What about contracts? Or drawing up wills?"

"Sounds like days of endless paperwork to me," she commented.

They sat in silence for a while, each considering other options besides a career in law or law enforcement.

"You could go to medical school," he suggested.

Kate shrugged. Medicine had never appealed to her. She wasn't squeamish – the profession just held no attraction for her. You couldn't interrogate a virus or run a background check on cancer.

Finally, Castle observed, "You like to solve mysteries. Puzzles. Figure people out. Maybe you should think about being a psychologist. Psychiatrist. Therapist. Something like that."

This time she laughed out loud. "Castle, I am the absolute last person who should be giving mental health advice. I can barely deal with my own issues, let alone help other people with theirs."

Rolling his eyes at her dismissal, he said with a certainty she did not understand, "I think that would make you the perfect person to help others. Besides, you can do _anything_."

After that his suggestions became more and more about trying to cheer her up and less about actual career possibilities. "Investment banker? Pawn broker? Olympic figure skater? Oh, I know, you could open up your own food truck and sell specialty donuts."

She was laughing but shaking her head at him. "I don't know, Castle. I just always thought I'd be a cop, you know?"

"Well, there are other types of law enforcement besides the police," he said. "You could apply to the FBI."

Kate made a face. "Will kind of soured me on the FBI."

Undeterred, Castle threw out more options. "CIA? U.S. Marshall? Secret Service? DEA?"

But Kate was still shaking her head at him, and it was clear none of those were options she was interested in. Looking down at the pool, the ripples in the water, she wondered if this indecision was what she should have gone through in college rather than her utter certainty as to what she wanted to do- first of wanting to be a lawyer and then a detective. Perhaps her identity crisis was just a little delayed.

Castle finally made one last suggestion. "What about... homicide detective?"

Her eyes swiveled to him immediately, the understanding in his voice drawing her almost as much as his words. And somehow, he knew, and because of that, she knew - that was what she was supposed to do, despite it all. Her life's work, her career, everything she wanted to do when she grew up, it was all tied into that exciting, fascinating, and frustrating job. Homicide detective. The job she had quit.

"You know why I resigned, don't you?" she asked.

He genuinely did not know why she'd quit, she could tell by the expression on his face. All she had said before was that she was done with it – the NYPD, her mother's murder, all those things she used to hide from what she really wanted in life.

"Why did you quit?" Castle asked.

She knew that he never would have asked her to leave her job, despite the danger it regularly put her in, put them both in. He had only told her to stop the investigation, for the sake of her own life. But after dangling off the side of that building, after almost falling to her death, it all felt like the same thing.

"I became a cop because of what happened to my mom. I'm good at it, and I really enjoy it. But... after what happened on that roof... it just seems like there has to be more out there for me, more than just catching criminals and putting them behind bars," Kate explained.

Castle nodded in understanding. She suspected that he had undergone similar existential crises over the years. Perhaps that was one of the reasons why he liked working with the police. On top of doing research and spending time with her, he could make a real, tangible contribution.

Kate added quietly, "Plus, I meant what I said to you that night." He looked at her questioningly. "I just want you. None of the rest of it matters."

She hoped that he understood what she was saying. Kate had quit her job to be with him, to make a fresh start on life independent of her mother's murder. But the more she thought about it, the more she realized that maybe what she was doing – solving murders – was genuinely what she was supposed to be doing. But if she decided to go back, she did not want him to misunderstand that decision. He was still more important to her. More important than anything.

"You don't have to prove anything to me, Kate," he said.

"Castle, the things I said to you that night at my apartment, when you tried to get me to drop the case..."

Taking her hand in his, he threaded their fingers together. "I know you didn't mean them."

"But I did mean them. Or I thought I did, at the time. I was so wrapped up in it that I almost lost you. I almost lost myself." Taking a deep breath, she declared, "I don't ever want to get back to that point in my life again."

"You won't," Castle assured her. "And I'll be there to make sure. But that doesn't mean you can't be a detective any more. You can always go back."

"I'm not ready to go back," Kate stated with finality, not sure if she would even be allowed to rejoin the force. She did quit, after all, rather than accept a suspension.

"Then take all the time you need. We still have plenty of summer left."

They sat in relative silence for a while, just swishing their legs in the pool and staring into the sky. Kate wondered what he was thinking, if she had upset him with this conversation. She did not want him to think that he wasn't enough, because he was. Being with him was worth the job, if it came down to it. He was certainly more important than her mother's murder investigation, which had almost killed her on several occasions. In fact, Kate realized, Castle was probably the healthiest thing in her life which she cared about. He took care of her when she needed it, gave her space when she felt smothered, and he always had the perfect words for any situation.

"I love you," she said, the words coming out as a surprise even to her. She had trouble saying them, usually, especially standing alone and not in response to his declarations.

Castle looked at her, unsurprised but pleased. "I love you too, Kate."

Giving her a small smile, Castle wrapped an arm around her shoulder. "And don't worry about the job thing. We'll figure it out."

Smiling at him, she looked away so he would not see the tears developing in her eyes. Oh, this man. This amazing, amazing man. Somehow, whenever she was with him, he just made everything better.

"Besides, if you need money for rent and board, you can always take a night job as a stripper," he said casually. "Oh, you could even use the stage name _Nikki Heat_. I won't even sue you for it."

His comment made her laugh, which Kate appreciated, but she still pushed him into the pool, fully clothed. She laughed even more at his high-pitched scream on hitting the water so unexpectedly.

"Oh, that's how you want to play?" he demanded when he resurfaced, swimming back towards her low in the pool, like a shark about to strike.

Before she could get her legs out of the water, he had a grip on them, and before she could fight back, he had her wrist in his hand and was pulling her into the pool with him. Kate shrieked as she hit the unexpectedly cold water, and then a little more as his fingers tickled the sensitive skin at her sides. She pushed against him, dunking him, but he circled her under the water and came up behind her again.

This time, rather than tickle her, he snaked his arms around her body and held her to him. "Truce?" he suggested, leaning down to kiss the skin behind her ear.

"Truce," she agreed.

"You know, you're supposed to strip naked before jumping in the pool," he admonished. "You're terrible at this skinny dipping thing."

"Well then, let me remedy that," she responded, moving to take off her wet clothes beneath the surface of the water.

They spent the next hour in the pool, neither of them thinking about anything but the other.


	8. Poetry

**A/N: **Thank you to everyone for the great reviews! They are such great inspiration to write more.

* * *

**Chapter 8: Poetry**

It was so cliche that he could almost laugh it it weren't for the fact that Kate genuinely was angry at him.

"Seriously, Castle. You're a grown man. It isn't like I'm asking for you to climb Mount Everest every time you come into the bathroom," she said in exasperation.

"My bathroom," he pointed out, and instantly regretted it. The look she shot him could have killed lesser men.

"Oh, that's how this works? Your house so your rules?" She was definitely working herself up into a fury over this matter.

Unwilling to give up just yet, he shot back, "Well I don't see why you always have to be right. It isn't like this is a black and white issue."

Her eyes went wide and Castle realized he had made things worse.

"I'm just asking you to put the toilet seat down!" she very nearly shouted. "That's all!"

It was an argument old as time, or at least, as old as toilets and toilet seats. Kate began by politely asking him to put it down after use, and he had genuinely tried to make the effort. But over time, he forgot more and more until he had abandoned the practice altogether. That's when her little requests turned into reminders. And recently, those reminders had begun to sound suspiciously like nagging.

"Well, I don't see why I have to put it down," he responded, probably sounding more petulant than he intended.

As though she were explaining a complex problem to a small child, Kate stated, "Because when I come in to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, and it's dark, I sit down and fall into the toilet."

"Well, why don't you just put it down? I put it up to use it so I don't get the seat wet, and you put it down to use it. Isn't that I good compromise?"

And... she was looking at him as though he were insane. Perfect.

"A compromise, Castle? That sounds like a compromise to you?"

Her tone annoyed him, almost as much as this conversation. Why were they arguing about toilet seats anyway? Wasn't this an issue that had been settled between men and women long ago?

"Yes, actually, it does."

"Fine, Castle. You know what, you win. But I've got a better compromise for you. This house has about fifty bedrooms. Why don't I just go sleep in one of them and have my own bathroom?" Kate suggested. Grabbing her toiletries bag, she exited the bathroom.

He followed her immediately.

"Hey, that's not fair," he called after her as she walked through the bedroom they'd been sharing since arriving in the Hamptons over a month earlier. "You can't just walk out during a fight."

"It's not a fight anymore, Castle. I conceded. You win."

Following her into one of the bedrooms down the hall, he muttered, "It doesn't feel like I won."

The bedroom she chose was smaller and did not have an adjoining bathroom. Seeing the flaw in her plan, he pointed this information out to her.

"Then I'll just use the bathroom down the hall!" she said in clear irritation. "Unless you have to have the toilet seat up on that one as well?"

"Well, now that you mention it I do sometimes use..." Her eyes were getting wider with anger, and Castle suddenly realized that no matter what happened, he simply was not going to win this argument. His mind flashed back to his two failed marriages and similar arguments - yes, he was destined for the dog house.

"Fine, okay, I'll try to do better on the toilet seat," he said with all sincerity. Judging by the still-angry look on her face, that wasn't enough. "I just don't want us to fight about it anymore. Please?"

Kate's expression softened at his plea, and she looked down at the ground, seemingly a little chastened. It _was_ a stupid thing to fight about. "I'm not used to living with other people, Castle," she said quietly.

Without a word, he took her hand in one of his and picked up her toiletry bag with the other before leading her back to their bedroom. He would make more of an effort to remember the toilet seat if it would keep her there with him and not down the hall in some stupid attempt to prove a point.

"Does this mean-"

AS he was entering the bedroom, he was cut short as he tripped and nearly fell on the floor. He let go of Kate's hand to catch himself before crashing over completely. Looking down at what had almost taken him down, he said without thinking, "Damn shoes again!"

Having tripped over Kate's shoes three times already that week, the curse on her footwear came out automatically. How many shoes did the woman have, anyway? They were everywhere! Like little landmines they would just sit there, left in strategic spots for him to trip over whenever he should happen to walk by.

"I'm sorry," Kate said, moving to grab the offending items.

"Can't you just keep those in your closet?" he demanded, still annoyed.

The master bedroom did sport his and hers walk-in closets, after all, and Kate had few enough clothes at the house to completely fill up her side. So why did the shoes have to be left everywhere?

"I do," she responded archly.

Castle retorted, "Then why do I find them lying all over the house?"

"I didn't realize it was such an imposition," she responded darkly. Clearly irritated, she threw her shoes into the closet and slammed the door. "Maybe if you actually looked where you were walking it wouldn't be a problem."

Crossing his arms in front of his chest, he suggested, "Well maybe you should be more considerate of others."

Something flashed in Kate's eyes - something not anger or annoyance or anything of the sort - and he realized he had taken it too far. Her shoulders slumped at the same time she looked away from him, and he could tell - he could just tell - that something had broken. He had just broken her a little.

"Kate, I'm sorry-" he began, dropping his arms to his sides and taking a step towards her.

But Kate turned away from him, clearly in no mood for physical contact. "No, you're right, Castle. I should be more considerate. This is your house. I'm just a guest here."

And then she was moving, walking towards the door, and he suspected that she wasn't going to stop when she reached the living room downstairs. The thought of her leaving the house completely and driving back to New York - the thought terrified him. He was certainly not going to lose her over an argument about shoes.

"Kate, stop," he begged, reaching out to touch her shoulder. And miraculously, she stopped.

"I'm sorry," Castle tried again. "You are not a guest here, not like that. And I don't want you to leave."

She did not resist him when he pulled her to face him and wrapped his arms around her. She even hugged him back and buried her face against his chest before saying, "I'm sorry, too."

"You can leave your shoes wherever you want."

"You can leave the toilet seat up if you want," she said at the same time.

He chuckled at their dual concessions even as he heard her laugh as well.

She pulled away from him, and she had that smile, the one that made him feel the butterflies in his stomach and the heart-fluttering... things. Why could he never remember poetry when he needed it? Quotes he could do. But he really needed to memorize some poetry for moments like this, because Kate's smiles deserved poetry.

"How about I try harder to put up my shoes and you try harder to put down the seat?" she said, the edges of her mouth still lifted in a loving expression.

"That sounds good," Castle said. "And how about we kiss and make up?"

He captured her lips with his, moving his hand up to bury it in her hair and hold her head steady so he could plunder her mouth. Kate's kisses should get some poetry too, he decided. Something with _heaven_ and _hot_ and _sweet_ and maybe a _forever_. Or better yet, _always_. Yes, Kate's mouth should definitely be in a poem with _always_.

When they broke apart for air, Kate was grinning at him again. "How about we do other things and make up?" she suggested.

Oh, make-up sex. He hadn't thought of that. There was definitely something poetic about make-up sex.

Before Castle had consciously thought about it, he had moved them over to the bed and had Kate's shirt half unbuttoned. She went straight for the fastening on his pants so their arms would not get in the way of each other, and then they switched. In the weeks since she had arrived on his doorstep and taken their partnership to a new level, they had gotten very good at quickly taking each other's clothes off. He slipped off his own shoes before moving to remove the dainty heeled sandals Kate was wearing. Not bothering to look, he just threw them over his shoulder one at a time.

"That's how they get everywhere," she was able to mumble before his lips were back on her again.

In a tangle of arms and legs and aching desire, they fell onto the bed together. As they rolled, Castle heard Kate make a sound. They paused, and she sat up slightly before turning to pull something out from under her shoulders which was buried in the comforter. His laptop.

"You leave this everywhere," she chided him, handing it over. He placed it none-too-gently on the floor next to the bed, then pushed it under for good measure. Just in case. He had three chapters of the next _Nikki Heat_ novel on that laptop, and he'd hate to step on it.

Then they were back to the kissing, and his hands were sliding along her body. God, her body. He half remembered a song from one of Alexis' playlists that reminded him of that moment - something about her body being a wonderland. Oh, he didn't need poetry. Songs were like poetry but set to music. Now if only he could think of some songs.

"Mmm..." he hummed into her skin as he reveled in the feel of her. "You're musical."

Okay, not quite what he'd been going for.

She kissed him again, and he thought maybe she hadn't heard. But a moment later she asked, "I'm what?"

"Musical." No, that didn't make sense without context. "Poetic," he tried again. "You're poetic."

He needed more words to explain, but the feel of her and her mouth made thinking difficult, let alone talking and all of that sentence constructing.

They rolled again, this time with Castle on bottom, and he felt something under him. Something... uncomfortable or he gladly would have ignored it.

"What the...?" he paused, then reached to pull out the offending item that was also buried in the sheets.

A book. Wait a second...

James Patterson?

"You read James Patterson in bed?" he demanded. She did not stop with the kissing and the touching and the - oh wow, her mouth should get its own record album - as she responded.

"I've read all yours. Wanted something new."

"But James Patterson? And do you have to read it in bed? Our bed?" he demanded, slightly offended.

Hearing his tone, she stopped - God, why did he make her stop? - and cocked her head to the side before answering, "Your next book doesn't come out until September. Am I not allowed to read another new mystery novel until then?"

Well, when she put it all logical like that...

"No. I mean, yes. Yes, you can read."

He would agree to just about anything at the moment, of course. Even if it was James Patterson in their bed, under the covers... jeez.

"How about... poetry?" he suggested. "In bed, can you read poetry instead of... of..."

"Other mystery writers?" Kate filled in, indulging him with a smile. "I can do that, Castle." She leaned forward to kiss him again. But she sat back a moment later. "But what's up with the poetry theme tonight?"

This time, Castle did not hesitate. The answer hit him immediately. "You," he said simply. "You are poetry."

Her face splitting into a wide smile, Kate returned to the kissing and the touching and all the wonderful things Castle wanted and needed, the things he would put up with tripping over shoes and putting down seats every day for the rest of his life to keep.


	9. Friends

**A/N: **Thank you to everyone who has reviewed! I love hearing what you guys think.

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**Chapter 9: Friends**

While Castle spent the day in meetings at Black Pawn, Kate had an interrogation to attend, and for once, she was not the one asking questions.

"I can't believe you quit your job, stopped investigating your mother's case, and disappeared up to the Hamptons to play house with Castle for the last month," Lanie stated over their lunch table. "So what gives, girl?"

They had talked on the phone in the intervening weeks, but this was their first time getting together. Kate and Castle only planned to be in the city for the weekend to pick up Alexis and Martha before returning to the beach for a few more weeks. Lanie wanted to get in a little time with her girl before she disappeared back into the glitz and glamour of being a famous writer's girlfriend.

"I guess I finally figured out my priorities," Kate answered with a half shrug.

"Your priorities being...?"

She noticed the blush as the other woman began, "Lanie..."

"What? I just want to hear you say it. What - or who, I should say - is your priority at the moment?"

Rolling her eyes, the former detective stated succinctly, "Castle."

"There you go. Don't you feel better now?"

"Not really, no. My best friend is harassing me."

Lanie fixed her with a stare. "And what kind of friend would I be if I didn't ask. Now come on, details."

"I am not giving you details," Kate responded, sounding slightly horrified.

"Not those kind of details, although, if this dry spell continues, I may have to live vicariously through you. But I meant what's it like? Is it what you imagined?"

Playing difficult, Kate repeated, "What is what like?"

"Being Rick Castle's girlfriend."

Kate reacted as though she hadn't used the G-word before in relation to her new... well, what else would you call him? Lover? Paramour? Boy-toy? Partner was a good descriptor but they'd already used it too much before adding sex to their relationship.

"It's okay. Different than I would have expected."

Lanie stared at her as though she had started picking her nose in public. "Okay?" she demanded. "You and Writer Boy have been circling each other for four years and after all this time, you finally get together. And all you can say is that 'it's okay'?"

Unable to keep the smile from her face, Kate amended her statement to, "It's great, Lanie. Amazing, actually. Castle is... wonderful."

"Wonderful, how exactly? I told you I want details."

Taking a deep breath, Kate got that starry-eyed look Lanie had seen on so many friends before when they first started new relationships. However, it was odd seeing it on this particular friend as Kate had never really fallen that hard for a guy before. Sure, there had been Doctor Josh, the Castle-is-dating-Gina-so-why-not? boyfriend. Before that had been Tom, the cute but not-quite-good-enough-not-to-dump-for-Castle maybe boyfriend. Neither had reduced Kate Beckett to looking like a teenager with a crush.

To cement her observations on the subject, Kate began speaking about the man like he had hung the moon. "He's sweet and he's funny. He's such a good person, Lanie. I mean, I knew that before, but now... The way he treats me, I've never been treated like this, like I'm so incredibly special and he's lucky to have me."

Lanie piped up, "He is lucky to have you."

"No, I'm lucky to have him. You don't understand. He brings me coffee in bed when I don't want to get up in the morning. He knows when to leave me alone and when to come after me. He gets excited about things I get excited about. He's just..."

"Wonderful?" Lanie supplied with a genuine smile.

"Exactly."

"Girl, you have it bad."

"If you tell him any of this, I'll deny it."

They continued to discuss what was happening with their lives over lunch with Kate fielding questions on her new relationship with Castle and Lanie dodging any subject even marginally close to Esposito. Finally, Kate seemed to get fed up with the evasiveness and plunged forward with the question.

"So have you seen Espo? I talked to him a few weeks ago but I haven't heard from him in a while."

"Yeah, I've seen him," Lanie said in a carefully neutral voice. She had actually been meeting up with him every few days. The man was not taking his suspension well, although he in no way blamed Beckett, despite her sudden resignation from the force. No, all his irritation was aimed at his partner, although he had taken to referring to Ryan as his 'backstabbing, double crossing, former partner.'

"And? How's he doing?" Kate asked.

"Well, he's definitely been getting the value out of his gym membership," the medical examiner commented wryly.

Kate raised an eyebrow. "Are you two..."

"We're... talking," Lanie allowed. "I guess whatever went down that day put some things into perspective for both of you."

And they had been talking. Just talking. Which was actually miraculous for them because the one thing they were not very good at was talking.

"You know, we could both do with a little vacation from the city," she hinted. "Javi especially. You know, what with his suspension for helping you-"

Kate was already waving her off. "You're invited, Lanie. Both of you. I mentioned it to Rick and he asked me to check which weekend would be best for you guys. Alexis is having friends up next weekend, and we didn't want to have a conflict."

Lanie smirked at her. "Rick, huh? I thought you still called him Castle."

Shrugging, Kate answered, "Depends on my mood."

"Do you call him Castle in bed, or does that depend on your mood as well?"

"Lanie!"

She and Kate were close friends, although Kate had always been private about a lot, including anything related to the bedroom. She knew the former detective had a slew of ex-boyfriends and spent a stint in Vice so she was no blushing virgin, but some things she preferred to keep to herself.

"Oh, you know I had to ask," Lanie defended. "You don't have to tell me anything... graphic. I was just wondering if... well, let's do this like a survey. Failed expectations, met expectations, or exceeded expectations?"

Kate narrowed her eyes for a moment before saying in clipped voice, "Exceeded expectations."

Nodding, Lanie pushed for a little more. "Now, would you say exceeded a little or a lot?"

That question earned her an eye roll and a look of annoyance so she tried a different tact.

"Any details you would care to share with me?"

Flashing her an evil smile, Kate began, "Well he does make this cute little noise when he-"

"Okay, okay, I give. No more bedroom questions."

Taking in the other woman's relaxed stance, the constant upturn of her mouth in a half hidden smile, and the tanned color of her skin, Lanie decided that she had never seen her friend looking so happy and at peace with herself. A few minutes later, on her way back from the bathroom, she actually spied Kate giggling over a text message.

Giggling - Kate Beckett.

Girl had it bad.

"And what's so funny?" she asked, the other woman still fiddling with her phone, probably responding to whatever text message she had received.

"Just Castle. He's stuck in a meeting and bored."

"What did he say?"

"He compared his publisher to a Dementor."

"A what?" Lanie questioned.

Kate smirked. "It's from Harry Potter."

Not nearly the fan of geeky science fiction and fantasy as her friend, Lanie shook her head in bewilderment. "You two really are meant for each other," she pronounced. "And not that I'm complaining, but what made you finally see it?"

Putting her cell phone down, Kate turned her attention back to her friend. "That last case, the one tied to my mom's murder..."

When she trailed off, Lanie filled in, "The one where Ryan grabbed you before you fell off the side of a building? He told me about that."

"Yeah, that one." She paused and began fiddling with her napkin, her water glass, anything to divide her attention. "So you know I almost died."

It wasn't a question, so Lanie did not say anything. Rather, she waited, knowing there was more.

"And as I was hanging there, my finger were slipping, and I knew I wasn't going to make it. The sides were too steep and I couldn't get any leverage to pull myself up. And then I heard Castle calling me."

"You heard Castle?" Lanie clarified. Kate nodded, and she said, "Okay, continue."

"I heard Castle. It was his voice I heard. Even later when Ryan pulled me up and I realized Castle wasn't even there, I know that it was his voice. I heard him."

"Why wasn't Castle there?" she asked.

"Because he told me to drop the case and I didn't. He said they would kill me and my response was basically to let them try it. And then he left, said he wouldn't stick around to watch me die."

"Oh, Kate."

Lanie did not know what to say. It was difficult enough hearing about her friend's near-death experience, but knowing this aspect of it?

"And, you know, he was right. I almost got myself killed, and for what? There he was in my living room telling me he loved me, and all I could focus on was my mom's case."

Kate's tone was matter-of-fact but her voice shook a little at the recounting. She was also having trouble meeting Lanie's eyes.

"What happened after you told Gates you resigned?"

Lanie assumed that was the point at which her friend had gone to Castle, allowing the two of them to finally hook up, but she did not know what that final deciding factor was.

Kate sort of laughed, although not from humor. "I walked. I just packed up my stuff, left it in my car, and started walking. I wasn't even sure where I was going until I got there. And it was raining and I didn't care. The guy left me dangling off a building and I didn't care. I handed in my badge and I didn't care. Just... none of it mattered. And when I ended up at the swings where Castle and I talked last year... I finally realized what really mattered to me."

Lanie said nothing, just let her continue to talk.

"So after sitting there for a minute in the pouring rain, I decided to do what my heart was telling me. And I went to his loft and - well, actually I tried to call him, but he didn't answer, not that I blame him. And then I knocked on his door."

Waiting for more, Lanie allowed a dozen seconds to pass before finally breaking down and demanding, "And then what happened?"

Grinning at her, Kate responded, "I thought you said no more bedroom questions."

"Kate Beckett, you bad girl," Lanie commented, also laughing. "Well, all I can say is, it's about time. And I'm happy for you."

"I'm happy for me too."

Just as the waiter was bringing their check, Kate's cell phone vibrated again indicating a new text message. Reading it over, Kate said, "He finally got out of his meeting. Wants to know if it is still the year 2012."

Seeing the way the other woman had lit up, Lanie decided to be merciful and offer to cut their afternoon short. She knew how important it was for new couples to be together, although it annoyed her that her friend - who she had not seen in over a month - would ditch their few hours together.

"Do you need to go see him?" Lanie offered.

Kate gave her a confused look complete with raised eyebrow. "No, I'm spending the day with you," she answered. Then, realizing she might be annoying her friend, she said, "I'm putting the phone away. No more texting, I promise. Now where did you want to go shopping?"

"You can text him," the medical examiner allowed, suddenly getting an idea. "But for every text message I get a bedroom question."

"Text message sent or received?" Kate clarified.

"Both."

"You're an evil woman, Lanie."


	10. Family Dinners

**A/N: **Thank you everyone for such positive feedback! I appreciate every review.

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**Chapter 10: Family Dinners**

"There's no need to be nervous," Kate said, her voice both soothing and amused at his obvious discomfort. She had watched him attempt to fix his tie three times before untying it and slipping it out from around his neck and declaring that she liked him better casual.

No need to be nervous. Right. Intellectually, he agreed with Kate. After all, he had met her father before, although not always under the best circumstances. But this time would be different. No longer was he just the partner, the man tasked with keeping her safe and waiting impatiently outside her hospital room after failing that role. Now he was the boyfriend, the man who had seen Jim Beckett's daughter naked. And, well... other things.

"My dad loves you," she said with more conviction than Castle felt. He wanted to point out that fathers did not ever 'love' the men their daughters dated. They merely tolerated them for the sake of avoiding family discord.

"Yeah? How did he feel about Josh?"

The question just kind of slipped out, and when she instantly froze, he regretted even bringing the subject up. They had not discussed her ex-boyfriend for a year, not since that day on the swings.

"Actually, he didn't meet Josh until the hospital," Kate answered quietly."We broke up not too long after that, so my dad didn't have much of a chance to form an opinion."

So she hadn't introduced them before that day at the hospital? And even then, that meeting was more inevitability than choice. She and Dr. Motorcycle boy were dating for months and months, nearly a year. Castle tried not to reflect on the fact that the two of them had only been officially together for a little over a month and he was already getting the 'dinner with dad' distinction.

"Actually, I take that back. I do remember him saying something about Josh after we broke up." At Castle's questioning look, she said, "He called Josh an 'asshole' and said I was better off without him. Although, I may have been drugged up at the time, because he also said something about Josh picking a fight with you."

That day outside the hospital emergency room flash back to him and Castle had trouble controlling his facial expressions as he remembered the accusations the irate doctor had hurled at him.

Reading Castle's face, Kate's mood suddenly changed. "That was true? He picked a fight with you?"

No need to get into this now, just minutes before her father was due to arrive for a family dinner. "He was... upset. We all were," he allowed.

"What happened?" she demanded, undeterred. "What did he say?"

Sighing, Castle wished he had never brought up the subject of Josh. "It's not important."

Putting on his shoes, he stood up to leave the bedroom but Kate stopped him. Taking both of his hands in hers, she stated, "It is important. I can see it in your eyes. What did he say to you?"

No avoiding it, he decided. They were going to have this conversation whether he liked it or not.

"He said it was my fault you were shot. I pushed you into reopening your mother's case, and because of that, you almost died." Castle paused for a moment, letting her absorb his statement before adding, "He wasn't wrong, Kate."

Her eyes flashing with emotion, she instantly responded, "He _was_ wrong, Rick. None of that was your fault. You really thought... you really blamed yourself for me taking that bullet?" She studied him, looking so deeply into his eyes that he had to look away. "God, I can't believe he said that to you. I can't believe you think that. None of that was your fault. None of it. You _saved_ me."

The argument was about a year overdue, a year too late perhaps... Castle had already been forced to come to terms with his role in Kate's shooting. But hearing her say the words, absolving him of blame, it made the old wound sting in a new way. Not quite healing, but also, not quite hurting either.

"Kate..." he began, then abandoned the venture. What could he say to her? How could he explain at this point in time how he felt at that moment, when he saw the glint of light off the sniper rifle but was too slow to stop that inevitable course of events.

"I pushed too hard," she said, tucking her head to try and gain his line of sight. "You tried to get me to stop. You did everything possible to keep me safe, Castle. What happened at Montgomery's funeral... my fault, not yours. That day on the roof... _my_ fault, not yours."

Not trusting his voice, Castle chose not to speak right away, but Kate must have interpreted his silence as disagreement with her statement because she continued, a little desperate, "Rick... I'm so sorry you've been holding onto this guilt. I should have seen it before. But you never put me in danger. I put myself there with my own stubbornness. And if it weren't for you, I would not be alive right now. I owe you my life."

Her pointed statement stole the air from his lungs. She felt in debt to him?

"You don't owe me anything," he said, emphasizing each word.

"I owe you _everything_," she reiterated.

Taking his hand, she held it to her chest, pushing his fingers into the valley between her breasts like that first night together. Her clothing hid the scar, but Castle understood the gesture, this silent and secret signal between them. Her heart. She owed him her heart, and she meant it on so many levels.

A moment later, there was a knock on the door and Alexis let them know that Kate's dad had arrived. Giving Castle a kiss, Kate took him by the hand and led him out to the living room to greet their guest.

Jim Beckett, as it turned out, did love his daughter's boyfriend. Throughout dinner, Castle could discern no resentment or uneasiness from the man, who quickly succeeded in charming both Alexis and Martha as he embarrassed Kate with stories from her childhood. The meal passed quickly with laughter and good conversation and before long Castle found himself alone in his office with Jim Beckett while Kate helped Martha and Alexis clean up in the kitchen.

"So this is where you write your books," the older man observed, taking in the novels arrayed on the backless shelves.

"Here and at the house in the Hamptons," Castle allowed. So this was it the moment he had been dreading all evening and simultaneously looking forward to.

The talk.

Taking a seat on the couch, Jim shifted to make himself more comfortable before saying, "Do you mind if I ask you a question, Rick?"

Castle swallowed dryly. Maybe he wasn't ready for this conversation. Maybe Kate's dad her only family member, he reminded himself would find him lacking in some way? Not good enough for his daughter? Despite all of Kate's words about her almost dying not being his fault... maybe Jim had the same reservations Castle himself had over putting Kate in danger?

Injecting his voice with more confidence than he actually felt, he said, "Ask away."

Jim took a deep breath, then inquired, "Could I get you to autograph one of your books for me? A buddy of mine wants to get his daughter something unique for her birthday, and she's a big fan. I would have asked Katie, but I didn't want her to feel uncomfortable, so..."

An autograph? Kate's dad wanted an autograph?

"Um... sure, that's no problem at all. I've got a couple of extra copies around here somewhere. Just remind me before you leave and I'll do a personalized one for her."

Instantly, Jim looked relieved. Chuckling as the tension left the room, he observed, "You know, Rick, I'm really glad Katie finally came to her senses with you. I don't think I've seen her so happy since... well, since before her mom died."

Wow. Kate's dad really did like him.

"I'm glad to hear that. She makes me very happy as well."

Jim paused for a few seconds before continuing. "But I am worried about her."

Castle was actually relieved at the comment. He knew there was something there, something he couldn't quite put his finger on, regarding Jim Beckett's feelings towards him. Better to address it now rather than later.

"Why are you worried?" the writer asked.

Sighing, Jim answered, "Well, I'm concerned about her quitting her job. I know Katie wants to have a fresh start, but... I've never known her to take this much time off."

"Maybe she needs some time to figure out what she wants to do next," Castle suggested.

"Maybe," the older man agreed. "I just don't want her to lose herself. You know, after Johanna died... Katie threw herself into her work. She moved back to New York to take care of me, but she applied herself in school, worked hard. She went straight into the academy and graduated at the top of her class. When she first started in uniform,it scared me to death. But she loved it, loved helping people. It became her purpose in life, you know? And when she made detective... Rick, I was so proud of her. And I worried about her so much but I knew... that's what she was meant to do. For so long, it was her whole world.

"I'm not saying she shouldn't have quit," Jim continued. "I'm just... I'm worried about her. I'm glad she's with you now, but I don't want her to lose that drive, that feeling of doing what you love."

Castle nodded his understanding. "Sir... I hope you know I'll support her in whatever she wants to do, even going back to the NYPD."

Jim smiled at him and clapped him on the shoulder with affection. "I know you will, Rick."

When the two men rejoined the others a few minutes later, Kate shot Castle a concerned look, obviously having noted their lengthy absence in his office. But he gave her a smile in return and a slight shake of the head as silent communication that nothing was wrong.

The group spent the rest of the evening in pleasant conversation over dessert and coffee, this time with Alexis and Martha alternately telling stories of Castle's antics, and Kate would periodically throw in her own anecdote as related to the writer. Castle did not mind being the center of their humor. In fact, he enjoyed watching the women in his life laugh and bond with each other. He was also happy to see mirth in the eyes of Kate's father, who truly seemed to enjoy spending the evening with them.

At the end of the night, Jim left with a signed copy of Heat Wave, one of the spare copies Castle had dug out of a box somewhere. He thanked the writer profusely before hugging his daughter. After they said their goodbyes to Jim and their goodnights to Martha and Alexis, Kate followed Castle into his bedroom as they retired for the evening.

"Well? How'd it go?" she asked, obviously referring to his conversation with her father.

"Fine," he answered. "Great, actually. Your dad really does like me."

"I told you there was no reason to be nervous."

Castle watched as Kate began to strip off her clothes and pull out a pair of shorts and one of his t-shirts to sleep in. Unbidden, Jim Beckett's words regarding his daughter re-entered Castle's mind as he observed the woman he loved get ready for bed. She moved with economy and purpose, certainly, but was there something missing? Her confidence was still there, along with her consumate sexiness. But had she lost something in this time away from her job? Was there something he was not seeing, some part of her she was lacking due to this break from work?

If there was, he could not see it. Perhaps her dad was just worrying over nothing.

"So we're headed back to the Hamptons tomorrow?" she asked as she wandered into his bathroom to finish her nightly preparations.

"That's the plan," he called out in answer.

"Can we leave in the afternoon?" Kate inquired, a deliberately lightness in her tone of voice. "There's something I want to do in the morning."

"Sure, no problem."

There it was, that thing he was looking for, the sign Jim Beckett had pointed him towards. He could hear it in the way she spoke, the hesitance. When was the last time Kate had ordered him around? She had no qualms telling him what to do when they were working together, so why should this be any different? While Castle appreciated her consideration for his opinion, he wanted her to be the same take-charge woman she had always been.

As he crawled into bed beside her a few minutes later, having completed his own nightly rituals in the bathroom, he resolved to make sure Kate did not lose herself. Whether she was an NYPD detective or an unemployed muse, she was still Kate Beckett. The Kate Beckett.

But as he turned off the lights and felt her mouth touch the skin at his neck in the dark, his concerns melted away. As it turned out, Kate had no problem taking charge of _him_ that night and Castle enjoyed every minute of it.


	11. Strawberry Comfort

**A/N:** I meant to put a note on the last chapter acknowledging that the "Jim Beckett asking Castle to autograph a book for a friend" idea has been done before, specifically in my memory in the excellent story, The Talk, by wp1fan.

Also, I've taken some more liberties with Kate's backstory with her mom. If you see any blatant discrepancies from the show, let me know.

And of course, I love getting reviews!

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**Chapter 11: Strawberry Comfort**

The cab ride to the cemetery took longer than Kate remembered, but of course, she had never traveled there from Castle's loft before. The scenery was different, as was the company. For the first time, she was taking someone to see her mother's grave, and it both terrified and elated her.

Sitting next to her, his fingers holding hers tightly, Castle stared out the window of the cab. He knew where they were going, had even dressed in a suit and tie for the occasion and insisted on stopping at his usual place to pick up flowers. Kate smiled at his thoughtfulness, but he shrugged it off without even a trace of his typical Castle arrogance. In fact, he seemed almost as nervous going with her to the cemetery as he had the night before attending dinner with her father.

The last time she had visited her mother's grave was during that last investigation, shortly after Kate's argument with Castle at her apartment. She had wondered then if she was doing the right thing, if seeking vengeance was as important as keeping him in her life. At the time, Kate had convinced herself that her mother would want justice. Johanna Beckett had dedicated her career to finding it for other people, after all, so why should it be denied to her?

But this time, as Kate walked along the gravestones, traveling the path she knew by heart, her thoughts were lighter and her step a bit easier. Castle followed a couple of paces behind her, clearly still a little uncertain of his presence. But she had asked him to come, wanted him there with her.

"Are you sure? We've only been dating for less than two months," he pointed out to her that morning when she told him of her morning's plans and asked him to go with her.

"Yes, but we've been friends and partners for four years," she countered.

And she loved him, Kate mentally added.

When they reached her mother's grave, Kate stopped and took a moment to again read over the words printed there, the words she tried to live her life by.

_Vincit Omnia Veritas_

Truth conquers all things.

Castle stood next to her, silent but supportive, his own eyes taking in the engraving as he stooped to place the flowers he had brought on the grave.

"She liked you," she said quietly, glancing over him. He raised a questioning eyebrow, and Kate added, "Your books. She thought you were a good author."

He nodded at her statement, taking in the detail about the woman he had never met, had only known through police reports, photographs, and Kate's stories.

"What else did she like?" he asked.

Kate found herself grinning as her mind took her back to a hundred memories of her childhood.

"She loved baking. Every Christmas she would make these amazing sugar cookies from scratch, and she would let me decorate them with sprinkles and colored sugar. She liked to read - mystery novels, classic fiction, even romance novels. She didn't watch much television, but aside from Temptation Lane, her one guilty pleasure was watching medical shows. It was something about the fast-paced nature of hospitals and emergency rooms, I think."

"She didn't watch legal dramas?" Castle asked.

Shaking her head, Kate said, "No, she always complained about how they didn't get things right, how they made it seem so easy and straight-forward. That's one of the things she liked about your books, actually. You took the time to get the details right."

Reflecting back over her years with her mother, she said thoughtfully, "She loved coffee. I refused to touch the stuff until I started at the academy so I was never able to tell her how right she was. She also really liked dogs. We never had a place big enough for one, but she'd love to pet any friendly dogs we saw at the park."

Laughing, Kate continued, "There was this one time, a puppy followed us home and the two of us really wanted to keep him. We even had a name all picked out. But my dad insisted on calling the local vet to see if someone had reported him missing. Later that night his owner came to pick him up. My mom and I were devastated."

Picking up on the details of her story, Castle asked, "What name did you pick?"

"Pongo." He let out a bark of laughter at the name. "What? I was a big fan of Disney growing up. My mom and I saw all the movies together when I was a kid."

"I never knew that."

Kate shrugged. "Haven't really made it a point to see any since..."

She turned back to look at her mother's gravestone. The woman had been such a force in Kate's life, both an inspiration and a guide. Losing her had felt like losing both her rudder and her sail, left adrift in a world which had demonstrated just how terrifying and unjust life could be.

"You know, she and I have some rough times before I went to college," Kate said. The statement sent chills down her spine despite the warm summer temperature. This admission was one she had told no one else except the therapist she saw shortly after her mother's death. "When I was a teenager, I sort of rebelled... a lot."

She had spent years doling out advice to Castle about his teenage daughter, advice she felt she had the right to give considering her own experience from the other side.

"She would tell me not to go to a party, and I would go. She would tell me not to blow off a test, and I did it anyway. She told me not to date a certain boy, and I dated him, just to spite her, just to prove her wrong."

"And was she wrong?" Castle asked.

Laughing at the question, Kate said, "No, she wasn't wrong. She was always right. I got drunk at that party and she still came and picked me up when I called her, getting sick as I tried to stumble home. The test I blew off... I flunked the class and ended up having to re-take it in summer school. It really messed up my GPA, almost kept me out of Stanford."

"And the boy?"

Snorting, she said, "He dumped me. I guess it didn't take a genius to figure out he wasn't exactly looking for true love in the eleventh grade, but my mom tried to warn me. Afterwards, she sat up with me all night eating ice cream and watching Disney movies."

"Not _Temptation Lane_?" Castle teased.

Smiling, Kate shook her head. "No, all the back-stabbing relationship stuff kind of hit too close, you know? So we just watched Cinderella and Snow White and Sleeping Beauty for hours. I think I needed a little bit of 'happily ever after.' But she never said she told me so, not about any of it. She just let me make my own mistakes and then helped me learn from them."

Kate smiled at Castle as he took in her admissions, the stories she had never told him before. And suddenly she realized that her mother would have really sympathized with him as a single father of a teenage girl, struggling to avoid the pitfalls of raising a hormonal juvenile.

"I really wish you'd been able to meet her," she said.

"Me too."

As if on cue, he wrapped his arms around her just as the tears began to flood Kate's eyes. How did he always know when she needed him? He held her tightly as the tears escaped her eyes, not a flood, but just a few stray splashes of liquid as she regained control of her emotions.

"Kate," he said quietly, his mouth at her ear. "I know I didn't know her but... I know your mother would have been proud of you. Of the woman you've become."

Glad that she did not have to meet his gaze, she asked, "Even though I couldn't find her killer?"

"Oh, Kate," he sighed, and then he was pulling away from her, wanting to see her face.

She knew it wasn't a fair question, especially not one to ask him. Their history with her mother's case was frought with landmines and arguments, and despite the guilt she felt over letting her mother down, Kate knew she had made the right decision in letting it go.

"She would want you to be happy," Castle said, looking her in the eyes. He politely did not include the 'and alive' part of his statement, but Kate knew it was there. "And she would have been proud of you for all the people whose murders you have solved - the victims who had no one to speak for them, the families you were able to give justice, the lives you have saved."

She nodded, acknowledging his words and the sentiments behind them as she wiped away the stray tears from her face. She had done good work in her career helping people in situations very like her own. And those were accomplishments of which she could be proud.

"Thank you for coming with me today," Kate told him with all earnestness.

Leaning forward to place a kiss on her lips, Castle responded, "Thank you for sharing her with me."

Kate said a private goodbye to her mother before Castle took her hand and walked with her out of the cemetery. Once they reached the street, he turned to her and said, "What do you say we go get some ice cream and pack up all Alexis' Disney movies to take with us back to the Hamptons?"

True to his word, he took her to an ice cream shop and despite her protests, ordered her a cone with two scoops of strawberry flavor - her favorite. He teased her as she licked away the frozen convection slowly rather than in ravenous bites like he took of his rocky road fudge swirl. Consequently, he endured her reciprocal teasing when he complained of the resulting ice cream headache, or 'brain freeze' as he called it, when he'd finished his.

By the time she was down to her bottom scoop, her spirits had been lifted despite the funk she usually experienced after visiting her mother's grave. Before she could focus too much on it again, Castle drug her out of the ice cream parlor and back out to the street. In one hand she held the rest of her ice cream cone while he kept hold of her other hand, and the two of them just walked down the city street together. The simplicity of the moment provided a fun counterpoint to the seriousness of their morning.

"How's your ice cream?" he asked, looking longingly at the melting pink cream she tried desperately to keep from leaking out of the cone.

"Mmm... 's good," Kate responded, taking a lick of the remains of the strawberry dessert.

"Can I taste?"

Obligingly, she held the cone out to him, but he quickly bypassed it to capture her lips instead. She grinned against his mouth as he deepened the kiss. It occurred to Kate that they were kissing openly in the middle of a city sidewalk, oblivious to everything around them, and for once, she simply did not care. Instead, she luxuriated in the feel of Castle's arms around her, the feel of his chest pressed to hers, and the delicious scent of him.

When they pulled apart, she flashed him another smile as he commented, "I think I found my new favorite flavor."

They strolled another few blocks, letting Kate finish her ice cream, before hailing a cab and heading back to the loft.


	12. Dirty Little Secrets

A/N: I had all weekend to write, and when did the urge strike me? Not until bedtime on Sunday night. Of course. That is the way of things.

Thanks for the feedback. As always, reviews are very much appreciated.

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**Chapter 12: Dirty Little Secrets**

Pushing off their return to the Hamptons by another day, they spend the evening alone, Alexis taking the tame to stay the night with a friend while Castle's mother left for a date with a comment of "Don't wait up!" thrown in her wake. In light of Kate's need to check on things at her apartment anyway, they decided to stay the night at her place – a sort of vacation from their vacation.

Her space was the same as he remembered, although something about seeing it through eyes which had now seen Kate in the throws of passion seemed to color his perception. Whereas before her furniture and belongings held little interest beyond the typical, they were now details to be taken in, tiny hints into her psyche. She fascinated him, always had, and now he wanted to know more.

How did she pick the pieces of art she chose to hang? Did she ever actually use that wood burning stove? Why did her table only have one chair? Come to think of it, why did she have glass doors on the inside of her apartment? Was it to set apart the vestibule or did it have something to do with when the building was converted? And obviously the building was converted to apartments – the space was too strange and open to have begun as apartments. And now that he was thinking about it…

"So how do you afford this place on a cop's salary?" he blurted out.

And he instantly regretted ever having learned to speak.

"I'm sorry," Castle said even before Kate could turn around and give him an angry glare. "I can't believe I just said that. What I meant was…"

But when she turned around, she did not look angry. She actually seemed amused by the sight of him with his foot lodged so firmly in his mouth that he was having trouble breathing, let alone speaking well enough to correct himself.

"What did you mean, Castle?" she asked, her eyes twinkling in that uniquely _Beckett_ way.

And he knew that look. That was the look women used when they were giving a man just enough rope to hang himself.

"I meant… I really love your apartment," he said.

"I like it too."

She was agreeing, and yet, she was also leaving the conversation open so he could re-phrase the question if he wanted to ask it in another way. But having already blundered into that forum so tactlessly, Castle decided to take a safer route.

"The space is very… spacey."

Ah, excellent. All that brilliant writer creativity at work there.

Taking pity on him, Kate began speaking as she pulled down two wine glasses and removed a bottle of wine from her fridge. "When my mom died, she left me some money. Not anything crazy, but enough to supplement my income to live comfortably. That's how I can pay for this apartment on a 'cop's salary,'" she told him succinctly.

Castle nodded, having suspected as much. Kate's mother was a lawyer and while he knew that not all lawyers had huge salaries, it made sense that she would have had a comfortable lifestyle. And besides the apartment, he had seen Kate's wardrobe and shoes over the past several years, and they certainly were not from the closet of a woman relying solely on a paycheck from the city.

"What else do you want to know?" she asked as she popped the cork on the wine and poured them each a glass. The way she spoke did not betray anger or irritation but rather genuine inquiry, an offer to answer more questions about herself. After their morning in the cemetery, Castle could not help but want to know everything he could about her – not just the pieces of her past with her mother, but the parts of Kate Beckett he had only seen in tantalizing glimpses.

"Will you tell me your number?" he asked.

She eyed him cautiously over her glass of wine, assessing and considering.

Finally, she responded, "I'll tell you if you can convince me why you should know."

"I want to know everything about you," he said. Kate laughed at his answer, a genuine heart-felt laugh. "What?"

"Castle, no one wants to know everything about the person they're dating. There are always things you keep to yourself, dirty little secrets and nasty surprises."

His eyes went wide and he leaned forward in sudden, intense interest. "Oh, now I have to know all the dirty little secrets," he declared.

Pursing her lips in a smile he knew she was fighting, Kate turned on one heel and went to sit on her couch. He followed her, taking the space beside her – close enough to touch but far enough away to still be able to see her face clearly.

"What about you?" she countered. "I'm sure you have all kinds of things about your past you'd prefer not to share."

She was right, of course. He certainly had not lived his life like a saint, either before he met her or after. But he loved hearing her stories, especially the interesting ones that he felt certain she had not shared with other boyfriends.

"I have an idea," Castle put forth. "Why don't we play truth or dare."

"Because we're not twelve year old girls," she said.

"Are you scared?"

"No, I'm not scared."

"Then play. If you don't want to answer a question, you have to take the dare. And vice versa."

Kate chewed on her bottom lip for a moment, one of those endearing habits of which he felt certain he would never tire. A moment later, she agreed, "Okay. But I get to ask first."

"By all means."

She thought for a moment before throwing out, "Why were you arrested for stealing a police horse and riding it naked through central park?"

"Why was I arrested? Because I was caught."

"That's not what I meant."

He pointed out, "No, but it is what you asked. My turn."

"Castle, that's not fair."

"I didn't say this game was called truth or fair. I said truth or dare."

She narrowed her eyes at him but did not argue further. Instead she took a sip of wine and he wondered how she would plot her revenge.

"What's your question?"

He thought about asking for her number again but dismissed it. She would just take the dare and he doubted he could come up with anything really alluring this early in the game.

"How old were you your first time?" he asked instead.

Kate rolled her eyes. "You and the sex questions. Fine, I was fifteen."

Fifteen? Really? That was… kind of young. Of course, she had said she'd been rebellious as a teenager, and there was that boy who had dumped her… But still, that was older than Alexis. And the thought of Alexis having sex left him stunned. But Kate wasn't Alexis. She was Kate. Of course, back then she'd been little teenage Kate, and... The father in him was still having trouble with that.

"Who… how… where…?"

"No, you only asked how old I was. If you want to know more, you can use another question on your turn," she informed him. "Now I want to know…"

He waited for her question, curious as to what she would come up with. He was fully prepared to answer most of the things he had already asked her – all about his first time and his 'number.' He would have no trouble telling her why he had failed at both is prior marriages. Most of what he wanted to know about her, he was ready to give in return. But she did not ask about any of that.

"When did you first realize you were in love with me?"

Both the seriousness in her voice and the enchanting look in her eyes left him breathless. And what an amazing question. Should he lie, tell her something that would seem less daunting? Or should he conform to the spirit of the game and tell her the actual truth?

"Um… out of curiosity, what's the dare?"

She rolled her eyes and answered, "Steal a police horse and ride it naked through Central Park. Come on, Castle. That was a softball question."

"For you, maybe." He thought for a moment before giving his response. "Well, I was always attracted to you, from the moment you first arrested me. And I suspected I had real feelings for you when you Coonan took me hostage and you had to shoot him to save my life. But I didn't realize I was in love with you – I mean, Disney movie, happily-ever-after, _in love_ with you – until that moment when your apartment blew up. Your former apartment, of course."

She stared at him, and Castle thought he detected a hint of moisture in her eyes. "What?" he asked.

"Nothing. I just… I'm really glad we finally figured things out," Kate told him, reaching out to gently squeeze his hand.

"So… my turn?" he asked, hoping to distract her from whatever sad thoughts she might be entertaining about the time before they had gotten together.

"Yes. What's your question?"

He considered it for a moment, but every sexual question and personal detail he wanted to pry out of her mind seemed trite and too invasive. After all, this was an opportunity to get to know Kate without her having to feel awkward or shy about any of her answers. What did he really want to know about her?

"When we were in that freezer…" He shivered at the mere mention of it, and he saw Kate's eyes flick towards a blanket draped over the back of the couch. But she resisted the urge to grab it and instead turned her full attention to him. "Just before you lost consciousness, you started to say something. What were you going to say?"

She was quiet for a while, a little too quiet. Her silence frightened him in a way few things had. Perhaps he never should have begun this game to begin with. Perhaps it was too much, too soon. They had been together for less than two months, and these types of serious conversations could wait until later in their relationship.

Forcing his tone to sound casual, he said, "And if you'd rather take the dare… I dare you to get me another glass of wine."

To punctuate his point, he forced himself to finish the last swallow at the bottom of his glass before handing it over to her. Without saying a word, she took it from him and crossed into the kitchen to refill it before returning to the couch.

But as she handed him his newly filled glass, she spoke. "I was going to say that I love you," Kate confessed. Seeing his startled expression, she amended, "Not like that. I meant, I loved you, like… not necessarily platonic, but more than just friends, you know? You were always there for me, Castle. My best friend, really. And I wanted you to know that. I just… I couldn't get the words out before the cold caught up with me."

So she had loved him, even before she had actually _loved_ him. This information just caused him to want to know more, to ask more questions. But it was her turn.

"Have you ever thought about having more kids?"

She kept her voice light, but he could see her nervousness in her eyes. It was a relationship question, the kind that he knew could sometimes be a deal breaker. But he knew he had to answer, if not at that moment, then at some point.

"Every time I look at Alexis," Castle responded. "But she's so perfect, you know? I think it would have to be with the right person." She nodded her understanding and he took his turn.

They tossed questions back and forth, and rarely was the 'dare' clause invoked. They went from serious to silly and back again, each growing more comfortable with the game as they asked questions long held back as well as inquiries based on new information. Castle did make a few blunders, including one that she actually answered.

"What is your greatest fear?" he asked, not realizing that for a woman who had faced death numerous times and had even been shot, that the usual answers would not suffice. He half expected her to come back with 'clowns' or perhaps 'public speaking,' but what she said hit him square in the chest.

"That I'll lose you."

Kate's answer proved both concise and vague. She feared losing him? As in, she worried he would leave her? Or she worried he would die?

"You won't," he tried to reassure her.

But she just shook her head. "You can't make that kind of promise, Castle."

Spoken like a woman who had lost her mother to a hired assassin, who had lost her captain in a deserted hanger bay, who had been shot in the chest at a cemetery. Together, they had braved more dangerous situations and almost deaths than any character he had ever written. And she feared losing _him_.

"My turn," she said, effectively ending that line of thought.

"What's your question?"

"This is a hypothetical."

"Okay."

She went on, "Hypothetically speaking, if I had said something to you before that summer you went to the Hamptons with Gina… if I had asked you out on a date or taken you up on your offer to go up for the weekend…"

"Would I have said yes?" he asked when her voice trailed off.

"Or would you have gone with Gina instead?" she completed.

Talk about softball questions. "I would have said yes," he answered. "No question." A moment later, his eyes narrowed. "Why do you ask?"

"Is that your question?"

"Sure. That's my question."

She bit her lip before inquiring, "What's the dare?"

Oh now he really wanted to know.

"And don't say steal a horse and ride it through Central Park naked," she cut him off before he could speak.

"Okay, then prank call Gates at home and ask her if her refrigerator is running."

It was a cheap ploy, choosing a dare he knew she would not take. But he wanted to know the reason behind her question. She glared at him a few seconds before deciding against prank calling her former boss.

"I was going to say yes," Kate said quietly. "When you asked me to go with you for the weekend, at the end of the case when we were out in the bullpen… I wanted to talk to you because I was going to say yes. But then…"

"Then Gina showed up."

"Yeah."

"But you were with Demming."

Kate shrugged. "I broke up with him."

"Why?"

Her cheeks flushed in embarrassment as she just shook her head, and he wondered how could have misread that moment so thoroughly. Sure, he had been upset about her officially dating Demming, had agreed to spend the summer with Gina in the Hamptons to take his mind off of Kate, but how had he missed her almost ask him out? What a fool he had been.

"So, what you're saying is… we could have been together-" and having mad passionate sex, "-this whole time?"

Shrugging again, Kate answered, "Well, you never know. It may not have worked back then. It may have been too soon."

She had a point. They could have gotten together only to break up again later, like after she was shot. Or during one of their fights over her mother's case.

Or they could have progressed in their relationship, had all these conversations two years earlier. Two years. After two years together, he could have bought a ring and proposed. If they had talked then, if she had spoken up or if he hadn't been an idiot and invited Gina to the Hamptons… Two years, and they might have been married by now.

Mrs. Kate Castle. Katherine Castle. Katherine Beckett-Castle.

Detective Kate Castle.

Okay, so maybe he was a 12-year-old girl.

"We're together now," he agreed finally. "That's what's important."

By mutual agreement, the game had ended, although they did not move from the couch. Instead, Castle found himself slowly reclining further and further as Kate snuggled up with him, her body partially draped over his as fatigue and the wine pulled them into the comfort of sleep.

"I love you, Kate," he told her softly, one hand gently stroking her hair.

"Mmm, me too, Castle," she said sleepily.

A few minutes passed, and he felt her breathing level off into the steady, even breaths of one in slumber.

Castle whispered into the darkness, "I still want to know everything about you, Kate Beckett. Dirty little secrets and all."


	13. Nightmares

**A/N:** This one is a little heavier than my usual for this story. But I think it is true to the characters and the issues they will likely face as their relationship grows and evolves.

I'm really honored by everyone's reviews. Please continue to let me know what you think.

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**Chapter 13: Nightmares**

_Castle's head slammed back into the face of his captor, and a second later, Dick Coonan recovered, his nose bloodied but his right hand coming up to point his weapon at the writer. And then Kate shot him._

_She knows she shot Coonan - she saw him fall. She saw the blood, felt it warm and wet in her hands as she struggled to keep him alive long enough to get the information she needed about who had hired him._

_But this time, Kate was too late. She did shoot Coonan, but a second after his own gun went off, and instead of the assassin, it was Castle's dazed face staring up at her as she pushed on his chest, her hands trying so hard to hold in the blood while she kept his heart beating._

_Except, a moment later, they were no longer in the precinct, and Castle was one more body littering the ground of that dark hanger where Montgomery was shot. All of the men around her were dead, their blood spilling out onto the concrete floor. Only Castle was still alive, staring up at her with unabashed fear. And then there were arms around her, pulling her away from him and out the back door. Kate screamed and struggled against the arms. She had to get back to him. Castle was dying; he would bleed to death if she didn't save him._

_Then the scenery changed again, and she was no longer behind that airplane hanger. The arms holding her were different - a police officer had grabbed her as she started to charge towards the bank. Smoke was still in the air and she could hear the crowd's gasps and frightened screams behind her. But whoever held her only did so long enough to force her into a vest, and then she was in the first wave of officers storming the bank. She did not even bother to grab a larger weapon, stickin instead with her sidearm._

_Kate called his name as she moved, and the smoke made it hoarse and frantic. She waited for him to answer, knew that he would. He had answered her - she remembered. He and the others were in the safety deposit box vault, safe and sound. Except this time, there was no answer to her desperate cry of, "Castle!" This time, only the silence greeted her._

_She kicked in the door of the hotel room, her weapon already up and sweeping the room as she moved. She immediately spotted Ryan unconscious on the other side of the bed. Castle was tied to the chair, but instead of looking at her and squinting into the light from her flashlight, his head lulled forward, unconscious. Not bothering to check the rest of the room - she already knew the Triple killer was long gone - she dropped to the floor next to his chair while Esposito went to see about Ryan._

_She waited for him to talk to her as she undid his bindings, but Castle said nothing. As she released his arms, he fell forward and she was unable to keep him from falling to the ground. Stretching out beside him, she put a hand to his chest. The blood there was warm like Coonan's had been. But this time Castle's eyes were closed. He wasn't breathing. She was too late, she had messed up, because he wasn't breathing. Her hands struggled against his chest, trying to get the leverage to perform CPR, to try and save him. But she was in the wrong position and her hands kept slipping in the blood, kept being pulled away by some invisible force._

"Kate."

His voice. It sliced through the fear like a knife through butter and pierced her just as sharply. He was alive? Oh thank God, he was alive-

"Kate!"

His eyes were open this time, and with a wave of relief Kate realized her own eyes were open. They were lying together on her couch, Castle under her but gripping her wrists tightly. He looked so frightened, so desperate, his eyes shining in the darkness.

It had all been a dream, all of it. Castle had never been shot. The blood on her hands was imagined.

Confirming her suspicions, he informed her, "You were having a nightmare, Kate. I had a hard time waking you."

"I... I'm sorry," she said, and he finally let go of her wrists. Of their own will, they explored his shirt, feeling his chest beneath for any injuries, just in case.

"Kate, I'm fine," he told her.

"In my dream, you were shot," she said by way of explanation for her hands undoing the buttons of his shirt, fumbling in their haste.

He reassured her, "I'm fine."

But she did not truly believe him until she saw for herself, finally getting the buttons undone and his undershirt pushed up to show nothing but clear, unblemished skin. No marks, no scars, and no blood. Sighing in relief, she pulled his undershirt back down and rested her head own on his chest, letting the rapid whoosh of his heartbeat drive away the images from her dreams.

Minutes passed, and she felt her body stop trembling. At some point he had begun to rub her back in small circles, his hand warm through the material of her own clothing. He also spoke to her, whispering words of comfort in her ear.

"Everything's okay, Kate," he told her. "It was just a bad dream. I'm okay. We're both fine."

They stayed that way for a while, until the fear which had gripped her began to lose its hold and the images fresh from her nightmare began to fade into memory.

Kate finally sat up and Castle did the same, moving so that they sat side by side on the couch, their knees and shoulders touching. "Do you want to tell me about it?" he asked.

"What's to tell?" she said quietly. "I dreamed you were shot."

"How?" he asked.

She shrugged, trying to remember the specifics of the dream. "Um... by the Triple killer. I didn't get there fast enough."

Knowingly, he asked, "What else?"

"The bomb at the bank. You weren't shot, but the bomb, it..." She took a deep breath, momentarily unable to speak. "And Coonan. He shot you, before I could..." Letting out the breath, she added, "And at the hanger with Montgomery."

"That's a terrible nightmare, Kate," he said quietly as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "I'm so sorry."

He had pulled her into a tight hug even as she realized what she had confessed to him the night before. Her greatest fear.

Losing him.

She had come so close to losing him, so many times. More times than she could count, more times than she could even dream about. And she couldn't bear it if the next time she was too late, if she had to watch his blood spill out of his body as she struggled in vain to stop it. And suddenly, Kate remembered that Castle had already lived through that nightmare in real life. He had been there when she was shot, a second too late to save her, holding her as she bled onto the ground as he begged her to stay alive.

"Do you have nightmares?" she asked him.

The question seemed odd - they had spent almost every night together for close to six weeks. And yet, this was her first nightmare in all that time together and she could not remember him having any.

"Yes," Castle answered her, loosening his grip so that she could pull away to look at his face.

"About me?"

"About you."

"That day... at the cemetery," she surmised.

He only nodded.

"I'm so sorry, Castle."

Those three months she had selfishly taken for herself… they could not have helped with the nightmares. More than ever before, she hated herself for that summer apart. In trying to spare him, she had only caused him more anguish.

"No, it's fine..." There was moisture in his eyes, but he blinked it back. "What about you? How often do you have these nightmares?"

She considered his question for a moment before saying, "Not much lately. I had them a lot after the shooting. And almost every night after the bank."

There were other nightmares, of course, like the ones about her mother and Montgomery. But for most of the past year, Castle was at the center of her dreams and nightmares. Unsurprisingly, the bank nightmare recurred a lot. Sometimes she would find him safe and alive only to watch him disappear in front of her. Other times it never made it that far as Trapper John pulled the trigger too soon.

"You never told me," Castle said, more sad than accusing.

"There were a lot of things I didn't tell you," she responded. Then a thought occurred to her, and she asked, "Did I hurt you, during my dream? I know sometimes I hit and kick..."

Her heart spasmed at the possibility of unintentionally hurting him, and in his sleep no less, when he was most vulnerable. But Castle just shook his head.

"You were moving but I grabbed her hands before you could lash out. But then you started whimpering and shaking and I kept trying to wake you up."

"I'm sorry," she said again.

"Stop apologizing," he ordered. "I'm just glad I was there to wake you up. You seemed absolutely terrified."

Terrified didn't even begin to cover it. There were no words to describe her panic at the thought of him dead or dying. It was like that moment when she heard the bomb explode - everything else just went away. She did not even picture herself in the future without him. She couldn't picture anything without him. The future without him didn't really exist any more.

"What time is it?" she asked, squinting at her watch in the darkness.

"Um... around 3 am," he answered. The only lights filtering in through the windows were that of the city. "Why don't we move to the bed and try to get some more sleep?" he suggested.

She doubted she would be able to fall back to sleep - she never could after the bad nightmares - but she let him lead her into her bedroom anyway. Just the thought of sharing her bed with him was enough for her to accede. If nothing else, she could lay awake and watch over him while he slept.

Castle pulled her into his arms as soon as they crawled under the covers, and Kate willed herself to relax against him, to focus on the steady sound of his heartbeat and the reassuring feel of his breath against her neck. She waited for him to fall asleep, mentally replacing all the horrible images from her nightmare with good ones - snapshots of their better times together. She pictured him chasing her on the beach the week before, his shout of triumph as he caught up with her and threw her over his shoulder in a fireman's carry as she shrieked in indignant delight. She thought about their nights together - not just the passionate ones, but the ones where he told her funny stories about his childhood or made fun of the terrible movie they had watched together. She focused on his words, his ruggedly handsome face, and the sharp mind he hid behind crazy theories and bad jokes.

He was such a _good_ man. How did it take her so long to see that? He spent so much time and effort just to make her laugh. A cup of coffee every morning to see her smile… What in this world had she ever done to deserve such a man, so giving and loving that she simply could not imagine life without him any more.

"What're you thinking about?" he asked quietly, the timbre of his voice a welcome addition to her thoughts.

"You," Kate answered simply. Part of her hoped that he would take the bait and talk to her for a little longer. But part of her was also just being truthful.

"Can't sleep?" he pressed, not pursuing what part of 'him' she was thinking about.

"Don't worry about me. I'm just resting," she said in response, hoping _he_ would be able to get some sleep at least.

Several moments passed and she thought perhaps he had slipped off, but then he inquired, "What can I do to help you fall asleep?"

"Nothing, Rick. Don't worry about me."

"Want me to sing?" he offered.

Smiling, she said, "No, that's okay."

"You sure? I used to sing to Alexis."

The image of a young Castle being a father to his little girl popped into Kate's head, and suddenly, the humor behind the offer left her. She kind of did want to hear him sing, especially if it was the same melody that he had used to help his daughter fall asleep.

"Okay, sure. Sing to me, Castle."

She waited for a lullaby, something soft and slow and gentle. Instead, his song surprised her.

"One for the money..." he began, and she snorted aloud at the familiar lyrics. "Two for the show..." His deep voice rumbled and she could feel the vibrations in his chest even as her smile unwittingly turned into a wide grin. "Three to get ready... and go cat, go. But don't you... step on my blue suede shoes..."

As he rattled off the lyrics Elvis Presley-style, Kate giggled at the rendition, especially his version of the accent. All in all, it was not a bad impression, but as he made his way through the song, she found herself laughing too hard to even consider trying to sleep.

Once he was finished, he pulled her more firmly against him and she readily relaxed into his arms.

"That's what you sang to Alexis to get her to go to sleep?" she asked, unable to stop smiling.

"Sometimes she'd get the Beatles. Depended on her nightmare."

"Are you taking requests?" Kate asked.

"Mmm... okay, but only one more," he said. "Little girls have to get plenty of sleep so they can have lots of energy in the morning."

His 'father voice' both delighted and amazed her. She had only ever seen him as the parent to a teenage girl, almost a young woman. She enjoyed this peek into how he was with Alexis as a baby and a toddler, as the young child who crawled into her parents' bed early in the morning after a nightmare.

"What about... twinkle twinkle little star?" Kate asked, thinking back to her own childhood and the songs her mother would sing her.

Dutifully, Castle began to sing the familiar tune. The combination of the words and the cadence of his voice convinced her to close her eyes. The warmth of his body reminded her of how safe she was in his arms. And of course his breath on her skin served as a reassurance that he was alive, whole, and unharmed. By the time he got to the end, she had begun to think she really could fall asleep again.

She was too tired to notice, but Castle stayed awake until she did succumb to the fatigue of the day and let her conscious mind take a break from the worries and considerations of the waking world. Once she had, he silently watched over her for some time before he too faded into a deep slumber.


	14. DetectiveFuego

A/N: This chapter is for **thump**, who gave me the idea.

But back to something a little lighter. Of course, I had to take some liberties with the website.

To everyone who has left a review or given feedback, I really appreciate it. They make writing worth it.

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**Chapter 14: DetectiveFuego**

Before they left her apartment to return to the loft the next morning, Kate decided to take a shower. While Castle offered to join her, Kate dismissed him with a comment about needing to get back so they could meet up with Alexis and his mother and head back to the beach house. With his cell phone batter dead, Castle resorted to using her computer to occupy himself. He had put in a bid on eBay for a limited edition batch of Star Wars lego miniature figures and he simply intended to see if he had won the auction. But instead of hitting the search button or typing in the URL, his hand automatically clicked on the 'Favorites' tab as he usually did with his own computer.

When a listing of unfamiliar websites came up, he suddenly remembered he was using Kate's computer and not his own. Of course, while he had no intention of snooping, several items immediately caught his eye.

Google Mail was at the top of the list, closely followed by the New York Times Online. He nodded in approval. Then there were several other websites he was less familiar with apparently dealing with art, fashion, and literature. Castle even noticed one to be in a Russian script. Grinning at this peek into Kate's interests, he almost missed it. But there in the middle of the list of favorite websites was one he definitely recognized.

RichardCastle .net

He grinned despite himself as he looked in the direction of Kate's bathroom. He could hear the water still running, so he ventured to click on the link. He had always known she was a fan, but finally, one of his long-awaited questions would be answered. Was she really one of the overzealous fans on his website? He had long since ruled her out as Castlefan45 or Castlefreak1212 through a process of elimination - both users had posted at times when he had been with Kate and he knew she was not at a computer or using her smartphone. But who was she, he wondered?

As the website loaded on her computer, he looked in the top corner to see if she was automatically signed in. No such luck. He clicked on the login button just in case, and as luck would have it, when he clicked on the box, it showed her screenname in the drop-down menu. Score one for Google Chrome.

Reading her chosen user name, his jaw dropped. He did not remember it specifically from his periodic perusal of the website, but of course, it was so perfect.

**DetectiveFuego**

While he had no hope of logging in under her name without a password, he quickly signed into the system so he could search for any posts by her. He only found three in the last two months, one dated just a few days earlier. Clicking on that one first, he saw that it was in one of the forums under a discussion about Nikki and Rook's relationship. One of the other posters had made a comment about Rook being threatened by Nikki and how the fictionalized detective should act more deferential towards him. Castle snorted to himself even before reading Kate's response.

**Nikki respects Rook, and he respects her. They both recognize that the other has valuable skills and insights which they themselves do not possess. Just because they do not get along all the times does not mean Rook is threatened by Nikki. If anything, she is threatened by him.**

Nikki felt threatened by Rook? Really?

He quickly scanned the responses and after Kate's comment, the forum conversation hit a turning point as posters argued about how the reporter challenged Nikki personally, her motivations, and why Rook was so interested in her. He snorted again at that question. Easier to think of reasons why Rook _wouldn't_ be interested in Nikki. Making a mental note of Kate's post, he decided to file it away for another time.

Castle quickly clicked over to the next post she had made, which was dated shortly after they had gotten together just a few weeks earlier. Interestingly, it was under a forum thread entitled, "Richard Castle single?"

Oh dear, what had she said?

A couple of people had posted, speculating about him with various women, including Gina, the blonde stewardess Jacinda someone had snapped a picture of him with, and even some older speculations as to Natalie Rhodes and Kate herself. One poster suggested he was gay, but that theory did not appear to be prevalent. Finally, he read Kate's post.

**It is no one's business who he's dating or not dating. He's a writer, not one of the characters in his books. People should respect his privacy.**

Well put. Unfortunately, she was quickly attacked by several other posters who told her to get off the forum if she had a problem with their innocent speculation and even one person who accused her of being a Rick Castle stalker.

Snorting again, Castle laughed to himself at how very close and how very far from the truth that particular accusation was. But a second later, he heard the water in the bathroom cut off, and he quickly exited out of the browser screen so as not to be caught. Besides, now that he knew her username, he could go back at his leisure on his own computer and read her posts.

Exiting the bathroom in nothing but a towel, Kate paused at the sight of him on her computer. "What're you doing?" she asked.

"Um... just checking to see if I won a bid on ebay. You don't mind, do you? I really want this set of Star Wars lego figures." Holding up his darkened cell phone, he added, "Battery's dead."

Even though he had not had time to check on the bid, Castle knew that a partial truth usually helped sell a lie.

Kate smirked at his reply but covered it with a roll of the eyes. "As long as you aren't snooping through my email," she allowed before pouring herself a cup of coffee and heading back into her room to change clothes.

Hmm... email. He hadn't even thought of that. But that would be too much of an invasion of privacy. She'd never forgive him. He could justify the posts on his website as they were technically out there in the public domain. But her email was something else entirely.

Not that he wasn't curious...

Before he could succumb to the siren song of temptation and click on the Outlook Express link at the bottom of the screen, he forced himself to turn the computer off. If he had learned anything during his marriages to Meredith and Gina it was that one should resist such momentary notions. That, and when you went looking through a person's personal mail or email or diary, you rarely saw something you actually wanted to see.

Wandering into the kitchen to pour himself a cup of coffee, Castle waited for Kate to emerge from her bedroom, silently entertaining himself with all the ways he could tease her about her website screenname. A few minutes later, she came out, fully dressed with her hair pulled back into a soft braid.

"So did you get it?" she asked.

"Did I get what?" he repeated, suddenly a little guilty.

"Your bid on eBay. The Star Wars legos..." Noticing his discomfort, Kate inquired, "Are you okay?"

Nervous under her scrutiny, Castle said, "Yeah, fine. I'm great, actually." Hoping to distract her, he observed, "Say, I'm surprised you haven't been trying to pump me for information on _Frozen Heat_, considering its coming out in just a few months."

The edges of her mouth quirked into a sly smile at his statement before she answered, "Well, I was wondering when you were going to get me an advanced copy."

"You haven't said anything," he pointed out. Now that he knew she kept regular tabs on his website, she would surely know of the September release date for the new book.

"Didn't think I needed to," she countered teasingly. "Doesn't the girlfriend/muse get first dibs on the advanced copy?"

Smirking back at her, Castle asked, "Is that how it works?"

Neither of them mentioned the reason why she had not read the advanced copy of _Heat Rises_. Had she called him during that summer of her recovery, he would have gladly gotten it to her before it was officially published. But her isolation from him meant that she could not read it until it hit the shelves, just like everyone else.

"Seems fair."

She kept her tone light but he could see something in her eyes, a bit of uncertainty. Perhaps that was why she had not brought it up.

"I don't know," Castle said, contemplative. "I think I may need a little more insentive. I mean, you seem to really want to read this book..."

Kate rolled her eyes at him, refusing to be taken in. "You brought it up," she accused, "Not me."

"And why is that?" he asked, leaning against the counter as he fixed her with a curious stare. "Why didn't you bring it up?"

Her eyes gleaming with mischief, Kate responsed, "Maybe your writing isn't as irresistible as you think it is, Castle."

No, that wasn't it. There was something else...

"Maybe... you've been reading spoilers," he guessed.

After spending four years working together, he recognized that look, that frozen, 'Quick, don't react!' look that flashed across her face. A moment later, it was gone, replaced by a expressionless mask any poker player would envy. But he had definitely seen it.

"You've been reading spoilers?" he demanded, a little incensed.

"Well..."

"Kate Beckett!" Castle scolded. He wanted her to read the book in its entirety, not get bits and pieces haphazardly.

"What? I just saw a few possible things on the internet," she answered. "It's not like I hacked into your laptop and read your entire manuscript."

He stared at her for a moment, genuinely worried that she may have done just that. The thought of her reading his rough draft was a little scary - he had an editor for a reason, after all.

"Kate, you didn't..."

"I just said I didn't!"

This time, he believed her. And he suddenly realized that while having his girlfriend as a die-hard fan was very cool in some ways, in others it was... a little daunting. Not only was she one of the most important people in his life, his books were about _her_, or at least based on her, on the two of them. Her opinion mattered a lot.

"I'll make you a deal," Castle offered. "I'll get you an advanced copy, but you have to promise me - no more spoilers."

Kate nodded in agreement. "No more spoilers. But I want the advanced copy _soon_."

"I'll have it messengered to us in the Hamptons this week."

They shook hands on the deal, the gesture bringing a pleased smile to Kate's face even as he moved forward into her space. His hands on her hips guided her back against her kitchen counter as she arranged her own around his neck.

"You're cute when you negotiate," she told him playfully.

"So are you," he agreed. "Although I still can't believe you were looking at spoilers. Where did you even find them?"

Kate shrugged a shoulder. "I don't remember. Twitter, maybe? Doesn't matter. That stuff isn't always reliable."

Twitter? His mind caught on the word and he suddenly wondered-

"You're on twitter?"

The thought had never really occurred to him before. Not Beckett - workaholic, serious-minded Beckett. Did she follow him? Not that he ever tweeted anything bad, or anything that she would kill him for, but...

She interrupted his inner musings, "Sort of. Haven't had much time for it until this summer."

"What's your handle?" He wondered if it was the same username as she used on his website, DetectiveFuego.

Kate smirked at him. "Now that would be telling. Why don't you try to find me? I follow you. That's your only hint."

"But I have over 75,000 followers."

She shot him another sexy, teasing smile as she leaned forward to kiss him.

"I guess that's your problem, Castle."

Castle grinned back at her. Oh yes, this was going to be a lot of fun.


	15. Zamok

**A/N: **As always, I appreciate the reviews! In contrast to the other story I recently started, this is a total fluff chapter carrying on from the last chapter. Let me know what you think :-)

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**Chapter 15: Zamok**

"What about Shenanigans?"

"Nope."

"Okay. Then NY152?"

"Not me."

"Dandelion9?"

"Wrong."

"FunnyPhoenix?"

Kate rolled her eyes as she looked over at him in the passenger seat of the car. When he agreed to let her drive them back to the Hamptons, having him spend the entire time attempting to guess her twitter username wasn't exactly what she had in mind.

"Are you just listing off every follower you have?" she asked.

"No," Castle responded. "I'm skipping over the ones that obviously aren't you."

"Such as?" she asked.

"KissMeKate."

She laughed at that one. Nope, not one that she would pick despite being a fan of Shakespeare.

From the back seat, Alexis spoke up. "What about MrsDerekRook?"

"Nope," Kate answered, amused that Castle was getting his own daughter into this guessing game. "You only have about 74,000 more names to try, though."

"Dad, I think we're going about this the wrong way," Alexis suggested.

"You're telling me. I think we need another hint."

"No more hints, Castle," Kate said.

"No more? You only gave me one!"

She snorted at his protest. "This from the man who figured out my life history on our first case?"

Alexis asked, "Did you try searching by her name?"

"First thing I tried," he answered. "Kate, Katherine, Katie, Beckett, KB, KBecks, all of those."

"Hmm..." the young woman murmured. Clearly her father was not the only one who enjoyed solving a good mystery. "Have you ever tweeted to dad?" she asked Kate.

"Um..." Well now, there was an interesting question. "No," she said finally.

Of course, Castle immediately noticed the way she answered. "You hesitated," he accused.

"Did not." And crap, her guilty smile just gave her away again. She used to be better at this.

"You totally did. So you're either lying, or... you did tweet me before, but from a different twitter name!"

Kate shrugged indifferently, or at least the best impression of indifferent she could come up with. Castle's obsessive nature was often humorous and his current drive to find out her twitter name was so entertaining she could not bring herself to put him out of his misery and just tell him. Once he found out, there would be no big payoff for him, just the pleasure of knowing he'd found her out.

In truth, she had never been a fan in the "fanatic" sense of the word. Sure, before meeting Castle she had signed onto his website periodically to see release dates and cover art. She had even indulged herself in reading transcripts of a few interviews people did with the writer. But it wasn't until she had begun working with him and was thrust into the spotlight as his 'muse' that she actually ever posted on his website or joined Twitter so she could follow him.

The latter move was originally made to make sure he wasn't tweeting case-sensitive information to the world at large. Castle did have a tendency to get carried away, sometimes. But he had never posted anything she could object to, although she sometimes found herself laughing at his tweets at the end of a case just because she knew the whole story.

Of course, she didn't want him to know that she knew any of this. And she had changed her twitter name, once. The old one she got rid of shortly after he went to the Hamptons with Gina that summer, and the new one was not registered until shortly after their scare with the dirty bomb.

"You'll never know, Castle," she told him with a deliberately mischievous look.

After a while longer, both he and Alexis grew tired of randomly trying twitter names off his follower list. Kate looked in her rear-view mirror to check on the strangely quiet Martha and noticed that she had dropped off to sleep.

"She had a long night," Alexis explained.

Kate nodded and they finished the car trip to the Hamptons in relative silence. When they arrived, she let Castle carry her bags in as she helped Martha and Alexis with theirs. She and Castle had only been away from the beach house for a weekend, but she had missed it tremendously - the smell of the salt air, the sound of the waves, the feel of the sun which seemed to be just a little bit warmer at the beach.

After spending some time unpacking and just relaxing after the drive, Kate made her way back downstairs to where the family was gathered around the kitchen island. As she approached, she heard Castle say, "Shh, here she comes."

Three pairs of eyes turned to her in unison and Kate suddenly had a flashback to that high school dream where you accidentally show up for your first day of school naked.

"What's going on?" she asked.

Martha was the first to speak. "Richard is still obsessing over your twitter persona, darling. You do know that at some point you will have take one for the team and just tell him or we're all going to suffer."

Castle looked at her with hopeful expectation and she rolled her eyes.

"Fine," Kate allowed. "One more hint." After considering it for a moment, she said, "Castle."

Her boyfriend and his daughter stared at her expectantly, waiting for more.

"That's it," she said. "That's your hint."

"That's my hint?" Castle asked, incredulous, at the same time Alexis began to nod with a knowing smile. Without a word, she grabbed up her cell phone and head into another room muttering something about 'research.' Martha made some comment about needing to relax after the long drive up to the beach house, likewise heading off to another part of the house.

"That's all you get, Castle," Kate told him with an amused smirk. He stuck his lip out in an exaggerated pout. Unable to resist, Kate leaned forward and kissed him, successfully erasing the childish expression.

"What do you say we go for a swim?" she suggested in an effort to divert his attention.

He allowed, "Will you wear the purple bikini?"

"Yes," she agreed with a laugh.

"And I can rub sunscreen on your back?"

"Absolutely."

"And I can-"

Kate cut him off with a warning, "Castle..." In response, he kissed her, the kind of kiss which reached down into her body and released tightly coiled desire. He had her pulled so close, she almost lost herself in the heat radiating off his body.

"Bathing suit," he reminded her a moment later as he pulled away just enough to look her in the eye.

"Uh... yeah, right, swimming," Kate stuttered.

"Or I can take you upstairs and ravish you for hours..." he offered, his voice low and quiet, dripping in his characteristic sex appeal. The way his hand rubbed circles on her lower back kept that fire inside kindled brightly.

"Um..."

Sex definitely sounded better than swimming, even if his mother and daughter were in the house. While the presence of the other women made her uncomfortable sharing intimacy with Castle, Kate had already learned how thick the walls were.

"I will bring you to the heights of desire and then back again, over and over," he offered.

Wow. "That sounds… wonderful," she managed, swallowing dryly.

"But I have one request," Castle added as he placed a kiss below her ear. She could feel his voice hum along her skin just as his breath tickled the hairs at the back of her neck.

"What?" she asked. As if she could deny him anything when he had her so hypnotized.

Moving his lips along her delicate flesh to her shoulder, he said, "Just tell me your twitter name..."

His words produced the same effect as a bucket of ice water dumped over her body. She instantly took a step back and gave him a mock glare.

"You are not seducing it out of me, Castle," she told him. "I already gave you two hints. If you want to know so bad, figure it out for yourself. I, however, am going to change and get into the pool."

She turned on her heel and left him standing there, a frown of disappointment decorating his expression. A moment later, she almost bumped into Alexis as she hurried upstairs.

"Kate," the younger woman said. And then without another word, she held out her cell phone. Taking it from her, Kate noticed that it had Twitter pulled up and there, on the screen, was her user name.

"You figured it out," Kate said.

Alexis shrugged slightly. "Once you gave us that last hint, it wasn't hard. Just a process of elimination."

"Are you going to tell your dad?" she asked carefully.

This time, Castle's daughter gave a knowing and devious smile. "No, I think I'll let him figure it out for himself. Torturing him is half the fun."

Kate snorted, not voicing her agreement on that statement but adding, "And the other half is watching him figure it out."

An hour later, both Kate and Alexis were in the pool, soaking lazily in the sun while they discussed whether the new college student should take all academic classes her first semester or sprinkle in a fun class or two, when Castle emerged from the house. While he was dressed for the pool in swim trunks, more notably, he bore an expression of triumph.

"I have it!" he said, interrupting Alexis' assertion that Ordinary Differential Equations was a 'fun' class.

Both women turned to Castle, who held his cell phone high above his head like some sort of prized trophy.

Looking at Kate, he declared, "Zamok."

He waited for confirmation from her, but she simply flashed him a smile. "Do you know what it means?" she asked.

His face reflected momentary panic, and when he did not answer, Alexis piped up. "Zamok means 'Castle' in Russian."

"You already figured it out?" he demanded of his daughter.

"About an hour ago."

"And you didn't tell me?"

Completely unapologetic, she responded, "You like puzzling these things out, Dad."

Kate added, "And if you didn't know what it meant, how did you figure it out?"

For several seconds, Castle was silent and she detected more than a hint of guilt and suppressed guilty pleasure in his features. She considered very carefully how he could have worked out her user name without utilizing the clues and his knowledge of her. A second later, it came to her.

"You looked on my phone, you fink!" she cried.

Immediately, she splashed her way to the edge of the pool and pushed herself out onto the concrete patio. Castle took two steps back and held out his hands in defense.

"Hey, you never said that was against the rules..." he began.

"It's cheating! Cheating is always against the rules!"

As she rushed towards him, Castle backed away, suddenly showing concern as to why she was approaching so quickly. Reaching over, he set his cell phone down on a nearby pool chair. As she sped up, so did Castle until he was darting around the patio with Kate hot on his heels.

"Hey, no running around the pool!" Alexis called, sounding both amused and mildly reproachful. Kate felt certain she heard her giggle at the display.

Instead of heading into the house, Castle took a hard left turn and as he skirted the patio breakfast table made it to the other side of the pool. Kate slowed, allowing him to get back himself into a corner before she advanced, cutting off his escape route.

"Now let's not be hasty..." he said as she stalked forward like a predator about to pounce on its prey.

However, when she sprang, Kate misjudged two points. First, she remember a few seconds too late that while she could probably take Castle in an actual fight, despite their size difference, it was much more difficult to attack someone you had absolutely no intention of hurting than it was to actually hurt them. And she had no intention of causing him real pain. Her second error in calculation was the fact that while Castle rarely demonstrated his size and physical strength, he had no trouble picking her up.

And as she came close enough to try and grapple with him, he did exactly that - scooped her up like a child, took half a dozen steps to the side of the pool, and then tossed her in. Kate screamed as she hit the water, although it was not nearly as bad as the time he had pulled her in fully clothed. As her head came back up and she wiped the chlorinated water from her eyes and nose, she shot him a look of daggers.

And, to make matters worse, he cannon balled into the pool right next to her, completely splashing both Kate and Alexis. When Castle resurfaced, he found Kate standing in the pool a few feet away, her arms crossed as she stared at him reproachfully. But as he swam towards her, she had trouble keeping her expression annoyed.

"So... my name in Russian, huh?" he questioned as he reached out to grasp her waist under the water, his hands warm against her bare skin. With Alexis looking on, Kate doubted he would try anything more intimate, but she could not help but smile at his excited, 'little boy with a new toy' expression. "That's pretty hot," he said just loud enough for her to hear.

"Your daughter figured it out first. Without cheating, I might add."

Castle looked between her and his only child before remarking, "She's smart like that."

"I don't know how you put up with him," Kate said to Alexis, shaking her head. While her genuine annoyance at Castle for invading the privacy of her phone had faded, she was still a little indignant over being thrown into the pool. Again.

"He has his good points," the younger woman remarked as she circled around behind her father.

"Hey, you said earlier you once tweeted me," Castle remembered, as though the thought had just occurred to him again. "What did you tweet? And what was your previous user name?"

Kate rolled her eyes at the question as Alexis stated, "But sometimes, he just needs to be dunked."

Without needing to consult, both women moved swiftly, Kate sweeping his feet out from under him as Alexis gave his head a gentle shove under the water. He went down with a last gasp for air and the two women swam away from him, laughing.

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A/N: Any Russian speakers, if I got the word wrong, please feel free to send me a note and I'll correct it. Google translator is only so helpful.


	16. Us Girls

**A/N:** Wow, this chapter ended up longer than I originally intended. Not quite fluff, but a mid-summer sort of chapter that I wanted to tackle.

Awesome reviewers are awesome! Love the feedback.

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**Chapter 16: Us Girls**

Kate had trouble functioning in the mornings before her first cup of coffee. That is not to imply that she was rude or abrupt, because she wasn't. She did not growl or grumble or snap or display any of the usual symptoms of a caffeine-deprived short temper.

She also did not open her eyes very much, which sometimes resulted in her walking into things. Things like walls and countertops. And then hours later she would discover a stray bruise and wonder aloud how it had gotten there.

"Ouch," Kate muttered as her hip collided with the edge of the stair railing.

From her position on the couch, a book in hand, Alexis suppressed the urge to giggle at the woman's morning clumsiness. For someone so graceful and sure of herself, she certainly had trouble making her way to the coffee pot.

"Good morning," Alexis called out.

Pausing, Kate managed to open one eye, raise her hand in a half-hearted waive, and respond with a "G'morn..." before continuing her zombie-lie shuffle towards the kitchen. But as she did, Alexis suddenly remembered something and, dropping her book on the couch, jumped up and followed her into the kitchen.

Unfortunately, Kate discovered it before she could warn her. The coffee pot was not only empty, but it was turned off. Not quite comprehending this, Kate held the empty pot in her hand, staring at it as though trying to solve a complex algebra equation. "There's no coffee," she said finally.

"Dad went out early this morning for his breakfast meeting," Alexis explained. Her dad had mentioned the meeting to them the previous night - something about a business associate or a friend of a friend with a manuscript. He had been vague and quickly changed the subject, and she wasn't sure if Kate would remember in her current state.

Unfortunately, her father was usually the one to make coffee and while Alexis felt certain that the former detective still knew how to brew her favorite morning substance, she had likely fallen out of practice in the last several weeks. She quickly offered, "I can make it."

"But you don't drink coffee."

"Doesn't mean I don't know how to make it."

Rubbing a tired hand across her face, Kate responded, "Thanks, but I can make it. Just not completely awake yet."

And awake she was not. First, she forgot to fill the reservoir with water. Then she forgot to take out the old grounds before replacing them with new ones. Alexis pointed the missteps out to her and again offered to do it, but Kate waved her off. However, when she was confronted with the can of whole beans and the complex coffee grinder Alexis' father preferred to use, she just stared at it for a while. Glancing over at Alexis, who smiled at her brightly, she finally gave up and motioned for the young woman to take over.

"Sorry, I'm not usually this out of it," she explained, yawning as she took a seat at the counter and watched Alexis grind the beans and transfer them into the coffee pot with practiced ease.

Alexis chose not to argue with her, although she knew that Kate rarely functioned well before her first cup of coffee. Of course, the caffeine handicap brought up a good question - how did she manage so many early morning calls to go out to crime scenes? Oh well, that was one issue that should not arise again. Hopefully.

Unconsciously, Castle's daughter chewed on her lip as she wondered how to ask whether Kate planned on returning to the NYPD. Perhaps before coffee was not the best time, although, there was a point to be made that with her defenses down so far... but no, Kate had always been straight with her. No sense trying to sandbag the woman at her most vulnerable time of day.

Instead, Alexis waited until she was able to set a fresh cup of coffee fixed to Kate's liking in front of her before asking, "So, what are you doing today with Dad off at his mysterious meeting?"

Kate took a sip before answering, and Alexis realized that it must be entirely psychological because she instantly seemed more alert and awake. "I don't know. I hadn't planned anything. Why, did you want to do something? The three of us girls?"

"Gram has a lunch date this afternoon."

"Okay, then just you and me," Kate offered.

"Actually... that sounds really great."

Despite her initial reservations about the woman, Alexis really did like her father's girlfriend. Of course, she still had to remind herself to call the woman 'Kate' instead of 'Detective Beckett.' She had even slipped up a few times, calling her 'Det-Kate.' Thankfully, Kate had either not noticed or simply let it go without comment.

As they put together a small breakfast, they detailed out their plans for the day. Alexis suggested shopping and Kate added a desire to visit a bookstore, having read most of the books in their small library at the beach house.

"You should get a Kindle or a Nook or some kind of ebook reader," she said. "That way you can download books whenever you want."

Kate shrugged before answering, "I don't know. I probably should. I just like the feel of real books, you know?"

"Yeah, me too. But the convenience factor of ebooks is pretty nice."

After breakfast they headed to the bookstore first, and Kate surprised her by not immediately heading to the mystery section but rather to the area in the back of the store marked simply 'Fiction.' Out of curiosity, Alexis followed.

Starting in the A's, Kate smiled softly as she ran a finger down the spine of an old favorite - Jane Austen's _Pride and Prejudice_.

"I love that book," the younger woman said aloud, a little surprised at how quickly Kate had gravitated towards it.

"I've read it so many times I almost have it memorized," the former cop confessed. "But I also love _Persuasion_. Not sure which one is my favorite."

_Pride and Prejudice_ involved a man and woman who started out hating each other, then moved into grudging acceptance, and finally found themselves in love. _Persuasion_ - a book about things not working out between two people in the beginning but eventually, after the passage of time, they realize their love for each other. Yep, Alexis could definitely see her difficulty there.

"Have you read any of the sequels?" Alexis asked. Every girl had phases and honestly, there were worse phases than devouring published _Pride and Prejudice_ fanfic.

But Kate shook her head. "No, I never did. Are there any good ones?"

They spent the next twenty minutes combing the fiction section, investigating Austen sequels and other books written about the same era, giggling over the cliched titles and the repetitive story lines while at the same time amassing an impressive stack in the 'to buy' pile. From Austen they moved on to other favorite writers, taking turns with recommendations and discussing the books they had both read. Alexis quickly discovered that while their tastes diverged in some ways, they still had a lot in common.

"I'm surprised you aren't over in the mystery section," she commented finally, after they'd spent an hour at the book store. "I know you don't just read dad's books."

Smiling slightly, Kate answered, "Well, I'm up to date on most of my favorite mystery writers - your dad included - and..." She sighed, her smile dropping into a thoughtful expression, and she did not continue.

"And what?"

"Never mind. What do you say we pay for these and go to that little boutique down the street?"

But Alexis was not about to let it drop.

"No, what were you going to say?" she persisted.

Kate paused, then said, "I don't like reading other mystery writers around your dad. I think it makes him... uncomfortable. Maybe a little jealous?"

Alexis suddenly had a flash back to her childhood - remembering the huge screaming matches between Meredith and her dad. She'd known for some years now that her mother had been unfaithful. Alexis loved her despite her selfishness and narcissism, but she could never quite forgive her for hurting her dad. And while Gina had not cheated on him, she was never in the relationship _for him_. She wanted Richard Castle, famous writer, not Rick, weekend adventurer and science fiction aficionado.

But Kate... not only did she understand her dad, she actually appreciated him. Even the 'jealous of other writers' quirks.

"That's really sweet," Alexis commented. "But you can't give in to him like that. If you cave on the little stuff, it'll be that much harder to stay firm on the big stuff."

Kate looked at her curiously. "Like what kind of big stuff?"

But the younger woman just shook her head knowingly. "Oh, you'll see."

Kate looked like she wanted to push for more information, but instead she just nodded resolutely.

After charging quite a hefty sum to Kate's credit card and carting two stacks of books out to the car, they headed down towards the boutique Kate had mentioned. It was new since the last time Alexis had been to the Hamptons, and they had passed it a few times while running errands, both expressing an interest in investigating the little shop. Inside they found a small clothing store catering to the likes of the type of people who typically spent their summers in the Hamptons - rich, famous, powerful, or some combination thereof.

Alexis observed Kate as she wandered through the store, stopping periodically to more closely examine a dress or outfit, sometimes checking for a size or brand name. For her part, Alexis found herself gravitating towards the accessories section, her eye catching on a cute purse which matched a pair of shoes she had bought the week before. She did not notice Kate approach her until they were side by side.

With a glance at the woman who worked at the shop, the one who had been eyeing them since they wandered in but had said nothing, Kate remarked quietly, "Do you get the feeling that we just stepped into that scene in Pretty Woman? You know, the one-"

"Yeah, I know the one," Alexis said. And following Kate's line of sight, she saw the saleswoman narrow her eyes at them suspiciously. "And I think I know what you mean."

She glanced down at their attire - jeans, flip-flops, and summery shirts. Typical beach attire. It wasn't like they were wearing fishnet stockings and knee-high boots with short pleather skirts. And yet, the woman still watched them with eagle eyes as though through sheer force of will she could make them leave.

"So, how should we handle this?" Kate asked. "Do we just leave or try on every piece of clothing in the place until she just explodes?"

Considering their options, Alexis realized that not only was Kate asking for her advice, she was also trying to determine how to behave as someone who probably should not draw attention to herself. Like the new girlfriend of a famous author.

Alexis considered the possibilities before suggesting the more sensible option. "We should just go. I don't like having people watch me like I'm a potential shoplifter."

Kate nodded once before taking the lead and heading for the door. But just before they exited, she said to Alexis in a very loud, very clear New England accent, "Let's go, darling. Everything here is so last season. What a tourist trap!"

Following her out the door, Alexis heard an indignant "hurmph!" sound from the saleslady. They both laughed all the way back to the car.

"Well, what do you say we get some lunch?" Kate suggested a few minutes later, after they'd had their fun at the saleswoman's expense.

They settled on a cafe near the beach, neither wanting anything too heavy or fancy. While they ate, they chatted about various things. Alexis found that all her questions and concerns about college were easily addressed by the older woman who had such a wealth of fresh advice. Not that she didn't love getting her father and grandmother's take on things, but neither of her family members were as close to her position in life as Kate.

"Don't date anyone you have classes with," Kate said sagely. "If you break up mid-semester, it can be really awkward."

"Did that happen to you?" Alexis asked.

Pressing her lips together, Kate answered, "Let me just say there were a few classes I skipped for purely strategic reasons." A moment later, she added, "And the same advice goes for dating professors or teachers' aids."

Nodding, Alexis did not require elaboration on that one.

"And don't forget to have fun. Stay up late. Go to parties. Try new things. All the stuff people say they do in college that you thought sounded like fun - do it." Then she stopped, considered her words, and amended, "Just don't get arrested."

Laughing, Alexis wondered if Kate ever had any brushes with the law like her father. Not that her father ever told her about them, but she was smart and intuitive. And she knew how to access public records.

"No academic advice?" she quiried.

Kate laughed. "Sounds like you've got that pretty well covered."

Considering the turn of the conversation, Alexis decided that it was as good a time as any to ask the question she had been wondering about. "What about you? Any ideas on your future plans?"

She intended her voice to be light and nonchalant, but it must have come out differently because Kate immediately froze. "Haven't decided yet," she said, more quietly than necessary.

In for a penny, in for a pound, Alexis decided as she pressed on with, "Have you thought about going back to the police department?"

This time, Kate looked at her directly before giving a slow, careful nod. "I've thought about it, yes. But at this point, I don't even know if it would be possible to go back."

"But if it were possible..."

"I don't know yet, Alexis."

She genuinely didn't know, the younger woman decided. Clearly it was still an option for her. And so for Alexis, it was still a concern to keep in the back of her mind. After all, her father had never been in as much danger as he was when he started following Kate Beckett around as they hunted murderers.

"I'm just wondering because..." She stopped, shrugged.

"Because you're worried about your dad. I know."

The way she said it, Alexis realized that she wasn't the only one at the table who had such concerns about her father. Clearly, Kate worried about him too.

"I was upset that he went back, after you were shot," she ventured. "I mean, I guess I understood it. But I didn't like it."

Kate nodded, accepting the admission without comment. A moment later she made her own confession. "That day at the bank... I've never been more scared in my life."

"Me too," Alexis agreed.

"But that was a fluke. Your dad and Martha, they weren't there because of police business or anything dangerous. They were just there when the bank robbers showed up. And one of the things I realized that day is, it doesn't matter what you do, there is always that risk out there, you know?"

What Kate said made sense. And her father did have a way of courting danger. But- "The risk is greater when you're being shot at," she pointed out.

"That is true," the former detective agreed. Meeting her eyes, she said firmly, "But it is his choice."

Alexis started to speak - to argue that her father would follow her into the jaws of hell and was that really a choice? - when Kate continued, "Alexis, I want you to know... I would never intentionally put him in danger. Not for anything."

While the sentiment did not surprise her, somehow, the words were surprisingly reassuring. While she knew that Kate had been a good cop and had people's best interests at heart, hearing her actually say how much she valued Alexis' father was touching.

Kate continued, "I know what it's like to lose a parent Alexis, and... I would never put you through that." She paused for a moment, biting her lip nervously before saying, "You know, if I do go back... I can keep your dad from shadowing me. It would only take one word to the Captain. I'm not sure how he'd react, but I'll do it if that's what you think would be best."

The offer surprised her, so contrary to the free will argument she had made earlier. Kate was putting it in her hands, giving her veto power. Part of her wanted to be angered by the offer, as though she could ever make decisions for her dad. But another part of her appreciated it, not just deferring to her as Rick Castle's daughter but conferring with her over his best interests.

"No, I... why don't we just wait and see? You haven't even decided to go back yet," Alexis pointed out.

Kate silently agreed to drop the subject for another time, instead turning her attention back to her salad. Alexis tried to think of a lighter topic, something that would erase the awkwardness which had suddenly developed between them. She wanted to return to that easy camraderie they had been enjoying earlier, like friends, like sisters.

Like step-mother and step-daughter? Alexis knew that was a possibility. But she had been down that road before with Gina and knew better than to get too attached too soon. Of course, Kate seemed different. And the relationship between Kate and her dad seemed different. More natural, more real. There was attraction on both sides, certainly, but there was also respect and friendship.

"Anything else you want to ask?" Kate inquired, breaking through her fog of introspection.

It was a genuine invitation for other serious questions, about both Kate and her intentions in this new relationship. And suddenly, Alexis could not think of any. Her doubts had been quelled, at least momentarily, and for the first time in a long time, she found herself relaxing into the idea of her father being in a relationship with someone.

Who knows? Maybe Kate would be her step-mother someday and her dad's third wife would be his last.

"Um..." She searched for a response. "How do you get your hair to do that cute wavy/curly thing? Because I've tried to do it and either the curls fall out immediately or my hair completely frizzes out."

Without missing a beat, Kate said, "Well, I wouldn't tell anyone else but you, but here's my secret. First..."


	17. Jumping on Oprah's Couch

**A/N:** Most of these chapters are only loosely related, but in addition to following on the heels of the last chapter, this one has a reference back to Chapter 11: Strawberry Comfort (for anyone who is like me and has a memory like a sieve).

Also my first time writing from this perspective, so I'd love to know what people think. I really appreciate all the reviews and feedback!

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**Chapter 17: Jumping on Oprah's Couch**

As soon as Martha saw the name on her son's ringing cell phone, she knew there would be trouble. Paula, her son's agent, rarely called just to chat. And considering how much Richard enjoyed his privacy during his summer stay at the Hamptons, the woman would likely not be calling for anything unimportant.

Picking up the phone, Martha carried it out onto the back veranda where her son was cooking hamburgers out on the grill for dinner while Alexis and Kate played some sort of volleyball game in the pool. She really liked that Alexis was getting along with the former detective. The two had even spent most of the day together while Martha had been out having lunch with old friends. And while Kate was a little too young to exert a truly maternal influence on the recent high school graduate, there was enough of an age difference that Alexis could look up to her and seek her advise on certain matters. (Of course, only on those things she couldn't go to Martha for, which were few and far between.)

"Your phone, Richard," she said, handing him the offending electronic device. "It's Paula."

She watched as he accepted the phone from her and glared at the inanimate object as though it really were his agent. The same thoughts which had run through her head as to the purpose of the call also went through his, she could tell. On the last ring, he selected the button to answer the call.

"Paula," he said with false cheer. "How are you? Strange that we should be talking again so soon... Paula, I thought we discussed this the other day?"

Martha recognized the change in his tone immediately, it having gone from polite annoyance at having his vacation interrupted to real anger.

"What? Who took it?" he demanded. "Paula, I told you how I feel about this... Well, tell them I want it pulled... Then talk to the editor himself! Then better yet, give me his phone number and _I_ will call him!"

His raised voice quickly caught the attention of his daughter and girlfriend, who stopped their game to watch him in obvious concern. But Richard did not notice as he continued to shout into the cell phone. Martha could hear Paula yelling back and through the exchange she managed to catch the gist of the problem.

Looking over at Kate in the pool, Martha wondered if it was too early to make a pitcher of margaritas. Or better yet, Bloody Mary's. But alas, it was barely past noon and Alexis tended to frown when she broke out alcohol before dinner time - unless of course it was for a special emergency. Was this a special emergency? Martha decided to wait and see. Ultimately, the reaction of only one person would decide the fate of the evening.

"Then tell them no comment," Richard said, ending his phone call abruptly. She could see in the set of his shoulders and the lines in his face that he was not happy. Very not happy.

"What's wrong, dad?" Alexis asked, her arms hung over the side of the pool. Kate had already moved to get out and was wrapping a towel around herself as she approached.

Martha sighed. What she wouldn't give to have a body like that again.

"That was Paula," Richard said, glancing between Kate and his daughter in the pool.

Noticing his obvious agitation, Kate inquired, "What did she say?"

"It seems a few days ago, back in New York, someone saw us out together and took some photos," Richard told her.

Martha's eye raised slightly at this information. She knew the two of them had been spending more time together in public, and surprisingly, no one with a camera or high pixel cell phone had managed to catch them. She sincerely hoped that whatever pictures had been taken were only PG-rated. Well, maybe PG-13 at the most. Richard did have a something of an image to protect.

"When were they taken?" Kate asked.

Her expression was a carefully controlled mask, but Martha's practiced eye could see the panic in the young woman. Kate had been thrown into the limelight after the publication of _Heat Wave_, rather unfairly, and she still resisted the drag of Richard's fame. Poor thing.

"The morning we went to... the morning we went out, just the two of us."

"At the cemetery?" she asked, looking stricken. So they had gone to visit her mother's grave, Martha surmised. She sincerely hoped no reporters or paparazzi were uncouth enough to follow them there.

"No, just after we left the ice cream parlor," Richard explained, sounding both angry and sad.

Kate's facade cracked as she responded, "So they have pictures of us kissing? They know we're together? And they're going to print that?"

Martha's son nodded grimly, although she could have told the former detective that the photos would be put on page six the first day celebrity news lagged. Finally, definitive proof that Richard Castle was sleeping with his police officer muse? Of course that would be too good not to print, even if Kate was no longer a police officer. Besides, it was a romantic story - playboy murder mystery writer finally tamed by a real life homicide investigator. Anyone who didn't print that would likely be fired by their editor.

"Well, it was bound to happen eventually," Martha remarked. Her son's girlfriend really needed to get used to this kind of thing. Richard was not an ordinary person, a regular Joe. Just as he went out of his way to deal with her emotional issues, it would be incumbent on her to recognize his fame.

Frowning, Kate looked like she wanted to argue but held her tongue. Instead, she looked straight at Richard and inquired, "You told them no comment?"

"They wanted me to confirm or deny whether we are in a relationship," he explained. "Paula called to see if we wanted any quotes printed with the story. I told her 'no comment' because I've found that these things die down more quickly if we don't give any credence to them."

For a moment, Kate looked confused, and Martha suddenly understood what was probably going through her mind. She was wondering why Richard did not want to publically confirm their fledgling relationship. The actress waited for her to voice those thoughts, to put the man in his place and demand that he shout their love from the rooftops... but she didn't.

Instead, Kate simply nodded and stated, "If you think that's the best way to handle it."

As Richard watched Kate turn and get back into the pool, Martha studied her son to see his expression. He seemed pensive, concerned about more than just the photographs and the invasion of what certainly had to be a private moment.

Once Kate was out of earshot, she asked him, "So you kissed her on a public street?"

"I wasn't thinking."

"At least not with your head."

"Mother..." he warned. They both knew how much Kate valued her privacy. Richard had even incorporated the hatred of her newfound fame into his second Nikki Heat novel.

"She seemed to take it rather well," Martha observed.

"Yeah. Too well."

Nodding, she agreed, "Yes, it seemed rather unlike her."

Troubled, Richard turned his attention back to the grill and the burgers he had neglected to the point that they were now no better than charcoal.

"Should I make margaritas?" Martha asked him. They were on vacation, after all. And they would be eating by now if he hadn't burned the burgers.

Sighing, he answered, "Actually, that would be lovely, Mother."

The paper arrived the next morning. Ignoring whatever worldly events might be important enough to grace the first page, Martha immediately flipped to page six.

And there they were, plain as day. Three pictures were printed together like a film strip, the first showing Kate and Richard walking hand-in-hand. Both were smiling and Kate appeared to be holding an ice cream cone. The next image showed the now infamous kiss in profile - really a very good picture. Martha made a mental note to see if she could track down a copy as the couple would probably appreciate it more at some later date. Maybe at their wedding? The last picture, however, was the most damning of all.

Ironically, they weren't actually doing anything in the picture. Due to the angle, the viewer could not see their clasped hands, and they had obviously finished kissing because they had pulled apart. But the looks on their faces - Kate's especially as the camera seemed to have caught more of her - were so full of love and tenderness that no one would have to see the previous two photos to know they were together. Together and very much in love.

The caption read: **Mystery writer Richard Castle caught making out with his muse, NYPD detective Kate Beckett - will she be Mrs. Castle #3?**

Oh dear. And the summer had been going so well.

Martha did not bother to hide the paper, but rather brought it directly into the kitchen and put it on the kitchen counter. Kate and Richard were busy making breakfast with Richard frying bacon and Kate manning the waffle iron. Alexis, who was sitting on a stool at the kitchen island, saw the pictures first.

"Wow," the young woman commented. A perfectly vague description, and yet, it was so fitting as well.

Martha nodded, and just to make sure she had gotten everyone's attention, announced, "Extra, extra, read all about it."

Turning to see what they were looking at, Richard walked around the island to see the pictures for himself. Kate also glanced over her shoulder to see but made no move to abandon her breakfast responsibilities. Instead, she picked up Richard's abandoned tongs and flipped a piece of bacon which had been sizzling too long on one side.

"Well, I guess they could have been worse," Martha's son commented, although she could tell that his eyes were riveted to the pictures - the third one in particular. Yes, she was definitely going to need to get copies of those. It really was a very good shot of Kate. She was far too photogenic for her own good.

"Would you like to see, darling?" she asked Kate.

The younger woman simply shrugged and shook her head. "I'm sure they're fine."

"You're named in the caption," Alexis informed her apologetically. Luckily, she made no mention of the fact that the paper had also implied that she was still a police detective. No sense stirring the pot prematurely.

Another shrug from Kate. "Martha was right. It was bound to come out sooner or later," she said, almost too nonchalant. "I suppose it would be different if I was still on the force, but I guess right now it doesn't matter how much my picture is in the paper."

Aha, so that was it. She did not mind the pictures - or rather had taken the stance that because she _shouldn't_ mind that she _couldn't_ mind - because they would no longer effect her ability to do her job. But it did not take a rocket scientist to see that she did mind. And yet, she refused to express it.

Richard circled back around to the kitchen, not even bothering to hide his concern. "Are you sure?" he asked her, as though there was anything he could do about it now.

Nodding, Kate said, "All part of the fun of dating Richard Castle, right?"

Her joke fell flat as Martha exchanged glances with Alexis. Richard had always fought to keep his daughter out of the media with strict rules - no photos, no interviews, and no personal information. Anyone who violated those dictates would see the full wrath of Black Pawn rain down on them. But Alexis was just a girl then. Now, as an adult woman, how long could he continue to shield her from pushy reporters and nosy photographers?

Of course, those same rules applied to Kate. No matter how hard Richard pushed to keep her out of the limelight, there would always be people out there with cameras attempting to make a few dollars.

The day continued on after breakfast in a similar vein. Kate seemed subdued but attempted to act as though everything were fine and the rest of them watching her closely. Especially Richard. He followed the woman any time she moved, whether it was to head to the bathroom or to pour herself another cup of coffee or to swim to the other side of the pool. Perhaps watching to see if she would attempt to escape? Martha wondered how long it would be before his observations finally got to Kate and forced her to confront him about it.

Martha did try to warn her son. "Richard," she said to him quietly while Kate was out of the room. "Either talk to her or let it go, but stop staring at her."

"Is it that obvious?"

"Stalkers have more subtlety," she answered.

"I'm just worried about her. She doesn't seem like herself lately, and now with the picture thing... I really expected her to be a lot more upset. And I think she is. But she won't express it," he explained.

"Give her time," Martha suggested. "Sometimes these things need time to sink in a little."

"What 'things'?"

"The things that come with dating you, darling."

"You know, I actually met with Paula yesterday morning about this very subject," he confessed.

"Your secret mystery meeting was with Paula?"

"Yes. It wasn't a secret. I just didn't want to make a big deal about it, and she was in the area anyway so she met me for breakfast. I told her that I wanted to keep Kate out of the media as much as possible, like we've done with Alexis. She said she'd do what she could, but she didn't know about the pictures until she got back to the city."

They both knew that there was not a thing in the world Paula could do if someone had pictures of Richard Castle making out with a woman in broad daylight on a city street.

Patting his arm, Martha said, "The best laid plans, dear. You know how that goes."

But he was shaking his head. "I just know something is wrong, Mother, more than just the photos. And it bothers me that she won't talk about it."

"Maybe she doesn't want to talk about it." Taking a moment to let him process her words, she added, "The two of you may be together now, but she is still the same Beckett she always was."

Martha meant to imply that Kate was likely as hesitant to discuss her feelings as she had been in the past, but Richard must have misunderstood her meaning.

"That's what has me worried, Mother," he said cryptically. "I'm afraid she isn't."

As it turned out, the argument she had anticipated arrived promptly at 6:03 pm, just as they were getting dressed to go out to dinner. As a treat to Alexis, they were going out to one of her favorite restaurants, a friendly place with good atmosphere, an open floor plan, and exquisite food. It was a place they went to every summer despite the fact that Richard was often swamped with fans seeking his autograph. Sometimes Martha wondered if they didn't go there so often _because_ of his notoriety at the restaurant.

But strangely, the argument did not involve Kate not wanting to go. In fact, despite Richard's protests that they could go somewhere else, Kate insisted on sticking to the original plan despite the added scrutiny they would likely face from the release of the photos in the paper.

"It is Alexis' favorite restaurant," she pointed out, "and there is no reason to force her to make that sacrifice."

Martha was in her room, minding her own business, never mind the fact that she knew from long experience that if she positioned herself just at the right air vent she could faintly hear most everything going on down the hall in her son's bedroom. It was not something she took advantage of very often - at least not since his fights with Gina - but she did occasionally find it useful. Perhaps she should have felt some tinge of guilt at overhearing their conversation. But really, if Richard did not want her to hear such things, he would have bought a house with better soundproofing.

"I wish you would just tell me how much the pictures bother you," Richard argued, cutting right to the heart of the matter.

Shaking her head at his tactic, Martha wondered how he could have learned so little from her about how to talk to a woman. Kate needed more finesse, more understanding, and less confrontation. When pushed, she would push back. It was in her nature. And yet, oddly, Kate didn't push back.

"They don't bother me," she said. "I already told you that."

"Clearly they do."

"What 'clearly'? Did I shout and scream at you? Did I throw a fit when that paper basically implied I was a gold-digging tramp? No, I didn't, did I Castle?"

"Well, no..."

Martha frowned at her son's response. Oh, Richard, darling...

"...but that's part of the problem," he continued. "Why are you holding back?"

Silence. Martha wished she could see what was going on rather than just hear the couple's conversation.

Finally, Kate said almost too low to hear, "Why didn't you want to comment on the photos?"

Her tone of voice was hurt and a little sad. But she did not sound angry and Martha nodded as her previous suspicion was confirmed. Richard, the poor man, was obviously confused by the question.

"I didn't want to give them any more story to write about," he said as though his motives were perfectly clear.

"Yes, but why?" Kate pressed. "Why did the photographs bother you so much? Do you not want people to know about us?"

Seconds ticked by, and finally, _finally_, Martha's son must have seen the light as he said, "No... oh God, Kate... that's not at all..."

She could picture him taking a deep breath before continuing. "Kate, I love you. The fact that we're together... I would shout it from the rooftops."

Good boy.

"I would have it published in every paper from here to California."

That might be overkill.

"I would even do that couch-jumping Tom Cruise on Oprah thing if I wasn't worried you'd severely hurt me for it."

Definitely overkill, although the mental image did bring a smile to her face. But Martha mentally urged her son to return to his original message.

Richard went on, "The only reason I was upset about the photos was because I thought you would be upset. I know your privacy is important to you, Kate, and that means it is important to me. And I don't want us being together to be a burden on you."

Her voice was soft as Kate asked, "Rick, how could what we have be a burden? This - this is everything to me."

The woman did have a point, Martha acknowledged to herself. She had not only given up the investigation of her mother's murder to be with Castle, but it seemed she had also quit her job. Of course, the former detective's exact reasons for resigning still puzzled Martha, but she knew it had to do with Richard.

"So... maybe I should have commented on it?" he ventured.

Martha could hear the smile in Kate's voice as she answered, "Well, if you'd rather go on Oprah and bounce around on her couch..."

Did neither of them know that Oprah had retired? Of course, there were any number of talk show couches Richard would be welcome to jump on, but...

"Kate, you say the word and Paula can arrange for an article in the next _People_ magazine. She told me yesterday her phone was ringing off the hook with requests for interviews."

Silence again. Martha smiled to herself as she pictured the young woman realizing exactly how public her life could be.

"Maybe not an article in _People_..." she said, the fear still showing through in her words despite her attempt to hide it. Apparently she did still want that measure of privacy after all.

Surprisingly, at least to Martha, Richard continued speaking. "Also, Kate... I wasn't sure if you would still want so much publicity if you were still considering going back."

Going back? Oh, back to the police department. So she was considering returning to her former career. No wonder Richard acted so angry with Paula - he was worried the photographs may make it difficult for Kate to do her job again.

"I haven't decided to go back," Kate argued.

"But you haven't decided not to," Richard pointed out. "And I want you to keep all your options open until you do decide."

Suddenly, both of their voices lowered significantly, making it impossible to hear without Martha standing on top of a dresser and pushing her ear to the vent. Luckily she was saved from that indignity by a light tapping on her bedroom door.

"Gram?" Alexis asked, cracking it just a hair.

"Come in, Darling," Martha told her.

"Are they done fighting yet?" the girl inquired.

Martha smiled at her granddaughter's concern. She knew the girl liked Kate - both of them did. And just as good mothers and daughters should, both of them worried that the woman would break Richard's heart one day.

"I think they've moved to the making up stage," Martha said, ushering her out into the hallway so they could wait downstairs.

Once they were in the living room, Alexis wondered, just barely out loud, "Do you think Dad's going to marry Kate?"

"I think he's going to try to marry her. But not any time soon."

Taking in her words, Alexis nodded. "I think she may actually be the one for him."

"Me too, kiddo," Martha agreed. "Me too."


	18. Stamina

**A/N:** So I tried three times to write a follow-up chapter to the last one and each time my muse bailed. So here is something else instead.

As a side note, I am ridiculously excited that this story has now gotten more hits, more reviews, and more story alerts than any of my other stories. Ya'll are the best! Thanks for the feedback!

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**Chapter 18: Stamina**

Through the haze of sleep, Kate could tell that morning had arrived, clear and bright as the sun invaded the bedroom through the blinds she must have left open the night before. The light, while beautiful and warm, was also involuntarily pulling her into consciousness when all she wanted to do was sleep a few more hours. What was it about this house in the Hamptons that made her so sleepy?

Castle was talking to her, his voice as rough as the stubble on his cheeks as he laid his head against her bare shoulder. His words would ebb and flow like the tide, first touching her like a caress, then pulling away and leaving her wanting. The meaning did not really matter, only the soothing tone, like the sound of music at the edge of sleep or the sound of waves washing away imprints in the sand.

The next thing Kate noticed was the delicious scent of coffee. It pulled at her consciousness even more than the sunlight or Castle's beautiful words. Cracking an eye open to determine the source of the alluring aroma, she caught sight of the coffee cup on the table next to her side of the bed.

Castle brought her coffee in bed.

Good man.

Kate reached for it automatically, her skin tingling at the feel of the hot ceramic as her fingers closed around it. The first sip exploded through her like pure adrenaline. She hummed as the rich flavor washed across her taste buds, the hinds of vanilla and hazelnut reminding her to be hungry.

Opening her eyes more widely, she noticed something she hadn't seen before in her tunnel-vision focus on the coffee cup. Castle was sitting on the bed next to her, dressed in a robe and holding his own cup of coffee.

"Morning," she greeted him.

"Hey sleepy head," he returned with a smirk.

"Thanks for the coffee."

"You are welcome, although I am realizing that coffee is the only way to really wake you up in the morning."

Kate snorted as she took another sip. "You should have seen me that morning you were gone. Alexis had to make it for me. I couldn't figure out how to work your bean grinder."

Leaning forward, Castle dropped his voice a few octaves as he said in a salacious manner, "Oh, I think you know exactly how to work my grinder."

She smacked him playfully but was unable to suppress her smile. "You are so bad."

"I am bad," he readily agreed, taking her hand which had swatted him and kissing the inside of her wrist. "Does that mean I get punished?"

"Is this going to be one of those days where you turn everything I saw into something dirty?" she questioned, partially serious and mostly amused.

"You want to talk dirty to me?" Castle returned with wide eyes and an enthusiastic expression. "Why Kate Becket, I never... could turn you down. Go ahead and talk dirty."

She rolled her eyes even as his lips continued up her arm, pausing at the soft skin on the inside of her elbow.

"Castle, we have things to do today," she reminded him. They had made plans to go to the beach with Alexis and then to an art gallery opening with Martha that afternoon. Glancing at the clock beside her bed, Kate was astonished to note that it was almost 10 o'clock in the morning.

"Things," he remarked. "Is that what the kids are calling it these days?"

"Cas-tle..." The latter half of his name came out as a hiss as he gently applied teeth to her delicate skin. He was really taking the time to seduce her. Ordinarily, she would have no problem with pulling the covers up over the two of them as they took a more leisurely and pleasurable wake-up. But they had commitments to fulfill, including one to his daughter.

"Kate..." he moaned in return, the sound vibrating along her arm and down through her body.

Okay, she really needed to get out of bed and away from Castle's talented... well, talented everything.

"Don't you want to go to the beach?" she asked. "We can build a sandcastle."

"Mmm, I think I want to build a 'sandcastle' right here," he responded in a lewd tone.

"Castle..." she tried to admonish him, but his mouth had traveled up her arm to her shoulder and the feather-light kisses he placed there were so distracting.

"That's _Sand_ Castle to you, missy," he corrected.

"That doesn't even make sense," Kate muttered weakly, her limbs already having turned to jelly.

The humor in his voice was obvious as he responded, "Make sense... make sex... close enough."

She tried not to smile and failed miserably.

"Make sex, huh?" she repeated.

"Mmm hmm, make lots of sex."

Laughing, Kate asked, "What has gotten into you this morning?"

"I think you have that backwards," he answered, his lips finding their way to her neck as his hands began their own exploration in other regions.

"Castle..." she tried to get his attention again. "Castle? What about the beach?"

He removed his mouth from her skin just long enough to say, "Nah, too public. Prefer you all to myself."

Sighing, Kate pushed it a step further. "Rick..."

But her use of his first name only proved to excite him more. "Oh, pulling out the big guns now. Does that mean you're going to spank me? I don't think I brought the handcuffs this time, but we can make do with-"

"Castle!" she interrupted, just as his hands connected with a particularly sensitive area. She really wished she didn't have to stop him because this insatiableness was really turning her on. "Alexis," she managed. "Beach. Martha. Art gallery. We have plans today, Castle."

"That's too bad because I have plans for you," he said in return. "And the longer you try to deter me, the later we are going to be."

Thus, overpowered as much by his stubbornness as his logic, Kate finally succumbed to his charms and allowed herself to be talked into staying in bed for another hour.

Their tryst did indeed cause them to be late going with Alexis to the beach, which the soon-to-be college student did not mind considering the cute young man she met while walking along the shore. He was playing Frisbee with his dog and while Castle noticed him talking to Alexis immediately, Kate managed to run interference long enough for the kid to ask the young woman for her phone number. This turn of events consequently left Castle grumbling on their walk back to the house and all through their showering and changing for the art gallery opening.

While they were late for the opening, they were only fashionably so, and Martha took even longer to come down the stairs in her regalia than they did. Castle drove them to the gallery, eerily quiet as he likely considered ways to have a background check run on the young man from the beach. Luckily, Kate knew that without even a name, all he could do was fret and worry about his daughter growing up too quickly.

"She's going off to college in a few months," she pointed out to him as they wandered through the gallery looking at different exhibits. Martha had yet to give a single glance at the art, instead taking center stage to talk with a gaggle of her contemporaries. "And there will be boys at Columbia."

"Doesn't mean I have to like it," he grumbled.

"You liked Ashley," she pointed out.

"I tolerated Ashley. At your suggestion, I might add."

"Well, you will have to get over it at some point if you ever want grandkids," Kate said with a laugh.

Her words must have sparked something in him because he looked at her with both wonder and horror at the possibility. A moment later, he said, "But I'm too young to be a grandfather. You and I haven't even..."

As he realized what he was saying, Castle's voice died. It was one of those subjects they hadn't really talked about. He eyed her carefully, gauging how she would react to his unintended suggestion. Kate knew he would not mind having more kids - he had said as much - if it were with the right person. But she had never ventured an opinion on the issue.

"Don't worry," she soothed him. "I think you have a few years before you need to decide whether you're going by Grandpa, Granddaddy, or Papa Rick."

Kate smiled as she said it so he would know she was teasing. In response, he made a face. "Those are my options? They all make me sound so... old."

Winking at him, she answered, "You're only as old as you feel, Castle."

His eyebrows immediately went up and Kate realized she was in store for another round of innuendo. "Really?" he asked her. "And as someone who has... 'felt me' recently... do I feel old to you?"

She rolled her eyes, glad that no one was around but also secretly enjoying the interaction. The playful, slightly inappropriate side of Castle was one she did not see as often now that he could get her naked just about any time he wanted. And Kate realized that she missed that aspect of his nature. He often amplified it too much when he was assuming the role of playboy writer, but she knew that it was still a part of the inner workings of this man. Despite his grown up exterior, he still had some of that little boy in him. She saw it every time he got excited about a new gadget or toy.

Smirking to herself, Kate mentally noted that she got to see the teenager inside of him every time he took off her clothes.

"What are you smiling about?" he asked her.

"Nothing really," she said. "Just that you'll always be young in my eyes, Castle."

He nodded, satisfied with her answer.

"Not that there aren't benefits that come with age," he stated. "Wisdom... Experience... Stamina..."

Then he looked over at her, and finally distracted from the 'Alexis and a boy' subject, Kate saw appreciation in his eyes. She had deliberately chosen her attire for style rather than his liking, although that seemed hardly to matter as his gaze raked over her. The sky-blue dress showed off her legs more than her cleavage but paired with a satin clutch transformed a simple summer outfit into something appropriate for a cocktail party.

"Were you wearing that earlier?" he asked, reinforcing her belief that he hadn't even looked at her since they'd left the house. By way of response, she just laughed at him. Castle continued, "Because it looks really good on you."

"You say that about everything."

"'Cause it's true about everything. You know that old saying about making a sack cloth look good?"

Kate forced herself to roll her eyes, hoping he didn't notice the blush on her cheeks. He always did have that effect on her. "I thought you didn't like cliches?" she said.

"They aren't cliches if they're true."

"Well, you're looking good tonight yourself, Mister Stamina," she shot back with an amused, sexy smile.

"Good enough to eat?" he inquired, his voice deceivingly innocent.

"I don't know," Kate bantered in return. "Guess we'll have to wait and see if I'm hungry for dessert."

She deliberately ran her eyes down the length of his Armani-clad body before walking away towards another exhibit, her heels tapping against the tile floor as she added a little extra sashay into her hips. Two could play at this game.


	19. Prepared for Anything

**A/N**: Been suffering from some serious writer's block the last week or so but got a few new ideas today, so hopefully will be able to update this more often.

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**Chapter 19: Prepared for Anything**

The zombies were coming. Shuffling, snarling, and shambling forward, they were coming like the inevitable tide of fate.

And there were so many of them.

Kate had her gun, but as Castle observed, "You don't have enough bullets."

And then he noticed that they were coming from the other direction as well. They were surrounded by zombies. "Get behind me," he instructed her even as the absurdity of the order hit him. When surrounded, it was impossible to get between someone and the main threat. Besides, she had the gun, not him.

It occurred to Castle that zombies did not actually exist, that the last time they had been in such a situation all it had taken was Kate flashing her badge and ordering the horde to stop. But this time - this time, they were real zombies.

Not even the best Oscar-nominated make-up job could accurately reflect a true rotting corpse as it pulled a severed torso forward with only the strength of one arm, the lower jaw completely gone. No human beings could really depict the growling, gnashing undead creatures moving towards them.

"I don't know what to do," Kate said, panic leaking into her voice.

"We'll have to fight our way out," he responded with more confidence than he felt.

"There's too many of them!"

"We'll be okay. Just... stay calm," he told her.

"Castle, I want you to run for it. I'll cover you."

"I'm not leaving you."

"Yes you are. Now _run_."

The sound of her gun firing startled him awake and with a small scream he sat straight up in bed. The darkness was punctuated by the rumbling of thunder outside and the occasional flash of lightning. Beside him, Kate shifted, disturbed by his sudden movement.

"Rick, what's the matter?" she asked, still groggy and disoriented.

"Bad dream."

"What about?"

He took a deep breath before answering, already knowing what she would say. "Zombies."

Kate sighed, just as he knew she would. "I told you not to read _World War Z_ right before bed."

"I didn't have nightmares after watching _The Walking Dead_," he pointed out. "Or that case with Kyle Jennings and the zombie drug."

"Books are different," she said even as she sat up next to him and rubbed a soothing hand across his back. "You hear the words in your head, in your own internal voice. So they get to you more."

He focused on the warmth of her touch rather than the disconcerting sound and light of the thunderstorm. "You wanted me to leave you," he said. He did not mention her panic-stricken voice or how badly it had frightened him.

"In the dream?"

"Yeah. You told me to run and you'd cover me."

"Castle, it was just a dream. A nightmare."

"So if it came down to it, in the event of a zombie apocalypse, you won't tell me to leave you?" he asked.

He heard her snort slightly at the absurdity of his question. "In the event of a zombie apocalypse, I won't tell you to leave me," she assured him.

"You only say that because you don't believe in zombies."

"Because there are no zombies, Castle."

She gently pulled at his shoulder, encouraging him to settle back down into the bed. She rested her head against his shoulder and put a reassuring arm across his chest.

"What about a real non-zombie apocalypse?" he ventured. "Nuclear war, pandemic flu, alien invasion..."

"That's it," Kate stated. "I'm cancelling your Netflix subscription."

"I'm serious," he whined.

"I won't let anything happen to you, Castle," she assured him. "Whatever the end-of-the-world scenario."

He let things grow quiet for a moment as the two of them listened to the rain and thunder outside. Water droplets pinged against the windows and the panes on the French doors which led out to the balcony. Castle's mind wandered, still too keyed up to even attempt to go back to sleep.

"What if I was bitten by a zombie?" he asked.

"No such thing as zombies."

"But what if there was? Or what if I got infected by a virus? Or if I got caught by aliens and they put a device on me that made me do their bidding?"

Kate sighed again. He could hear the fatigue and growing irritation in her voice, but she said with great patience, "If you were bit, I'd do whatever I could. If you got infected, I would try to nurse you back to health. And if you were caught by aliens, I'd find you and bring you home."

The thought of her in such dangerous situations suddenly frightened him. While he appreciated that she was willing to do such things for him, did he really want her to risk her life in the face of such terrible odds? After all, everyone knew that no one recovered from a zombie bite. The only merciful thing to do was put the person out of his or her misery. And with a pandemic flu, you either survived or you didn't - unless of course someone had a cure, which was unlikely. But being around infected people meant you were more likely to get infected. And aliens - movies portrayed that scenario as one in which humans could emerge victorious, but rescue operations usually resulted in more casualties than lives saved.

"Not if it's dangerous," he conceded. "I don't want you to do any of that if it's dangerous."

"Zombies, infectious diseases, aliens... Castle, everything you described is dangerous."

"Well, I changed my mind. I don't want you to risk your life doing something crazy."

He could hear her rolling her eyes in the darkness.

"This conversation is crazy. There are no such things as zombies or aliens, and in the event of a pandamic flu, I'm just as likely to get sick as you are."

"What about nuclear war?"

"We live in New York City, Castle, one of the most populated cities in the world. Where do you think they're going to target first?"

"What about-"

Before he could float more doomsday scenarios, Kate covered his mouth with one of her fingers. "Enough," she whispered. "You're going to give me nightmares."

That was the last thing he wanted. He already knew what kinds of real horrors stalked her dreams, and he had no intention of adding to them with imagined fears.

"Sorry," he mumbled, chastened. "Sometimes I get carried away."

"It's okay. Just try to get some sleep, okay?"

The suggestion was tempting, he had to admit. The warmth of her body nestled against his had dispelled the panic brought on by his zombie dream. But at the same time, he found himself worrying about her safety. In movies and books, the ones who didn't believe in certain things (like zombies and aliens) were the first to fall victim to the danger they refused to recognize. The ones who strategically retreated at the first sign of trouble were the ones most likely to survive.

And the thought of Kate turning into a zombie or under the control of aliens sent chills down his spine.

"Stop fretting about zombies," she said, as though reading his mind.

"I'm not. I'm fretting about you."

His answer brought her back to full alertness. "Me? Why are you worrying about me?"

"You don't believe in zombies or aliens," he said.

"What, and you think that makes us incompatible or something?"

_Incompatible?_ Huh?

"Incompatible? No, I don't mean that at all-"

"You know this about me, Castle," Kate continued, growing more worked up. "I also don't believe in ghosts or psychics."

Ghosts. He'd forgotten about that threat. "There is no Dana. There is only Zuul."

"What?" she questioned.

"Nothing. And it isn't a matter of incompatibility. I just want you to be prepared. You know, in case something unexpected happens."

"Unexpected... Castle, since we've met, we have survived bombs, being trapped in a freezer, being trapped in the trunk of a car, being trapped in a car plunging into the Hudson River, potential exposure to radioactive materials, murderers, serial killers, bank robbers..."

"And a tiger," he added.

"And a tiger," she conceded. "So what among those experiences has you thinking we won't be prepared for something unexpected?"

"Um..."

She made a good point.

And how likely was the zombie apocalypse, anyway? Or an alien invasion? Or even a pandemic flu? He might as well worry about earthquakes, car accidents, and global warming.

"I guess I just want you to be prepared for anything."

"After four years with you, trust me, I'm prepared for anything. Zombies... we've dealt with. Aliens... we've dealt with."

"Well, sort of," Castle allowed. Kate ignored him.

"Nuclear bomb... dealt with CIA conspiracy... dealt with. Crazed fan... dealth with. Sniper... dealt with."

He shuddered even as he decided that she meant the sniper case and not her own shooting. "Please don't remind me."

Driving her point home, Kate stated, "See, there are other things much more likely to happen than the zombie apocalypse and we've gotten through them. And each crazy thing that happens makes us more prepared for the next crazy thing. And the not-so-crazy things."

"Like a swine flu outbreak?"

"Like... You and I getting together. Alexis going off to college and dating college boys. Your mom meeting someone new."

"Well, let's not go too crazy."

"What I'm saying is, maybe it isn't zombies you're worried about, but the unknown. We've been dealing with a lot of changes lately, and we can get through it, together. I promise."

He considered her words for several moments, considering the deeper levels to his dream, beyond the obvious zombies. Perhaps one of the things which bothered him the most about his dream was Kate's inability to react until she finally decided to try and put his wellbeing first. It hadn't happened that way when they encountered the zombie walkers. Then, Kate acted decisively and without hesitation. But in his dream, she was both unsure and afraid.

Was the dream reflecting the change he had noticed in her since she'd quit her job? Or was he projecting that onto her through his own insecurities? Or was the whole thing really about zombies and his ill-fated decision to read a novel about the great zombie war just before going to bed?

"Go to sleep, Castle," Kate said again, this time more firmly as she laid her head back down on the pillow next to him. "We can worry about zombies in the morning."

They lapsed back into silence, and he realized as moments ticked by, that the thunder outside was beginning to grow less frequent, as though the storm was moving further away. Suddenly, his mind was flooded with images from a number of Stephen King movies and novels, including mists and domes and homicidal cars. While logically such threats were unlikely (probably close to impossible), he wanted to make sure Kate was aware of them.

"What about-"

This time, she moved her hand from his chest to slap her entire palm over his mouth, and she was not gentle about it.

"Last warning, Castle," she stated, clearly annoyed, as she spoke directly into his ear. "I promise, no matter what crazy scenario you come up with, I will do my best to protect you, just like you've always done your best to protect me. But neither one of us can do that if we don't get some sleep."

She kept her hand covering his mouth, so Castle simply nodded in agreement. There was a silent threat in her words, and somehow... that momentary return to normalcy, knowing that he could still drive her to such exasperation as to commit minor violence against him, that was truly comforting.

Within minutes, he fell back asleep.


	20. Matlock and Fletcher

**A/N: **Thanks for the reviews. Feedback always makes my day.

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**Chapter 20: Matlock and Fletcher**

It rained all night and into the next day. Although the thunder and lightning remained at a minimum, no one wanted to leave the beach house even for a quick jaunt into town. Alexis spent a lot of time reading - both catching up on old favorites and preparing for the classes she intended to take in the fall - while Martha disappeared down the street to visit "an old friend."

Castle and Kate began the day reading on opposite sides of the couch, but as the day wore on and the gray sky outside failed to give way to anything less dreary than clouds and rain, they turned on the television set and began watching mindlessly.

"Television these days is pretty terrible," Kate remarked. As a detective, she'd had little enough personal time and rarely wasted it watching TV, preferring instead to read or work out. What she'd seen since staying with the Castles in the Hamptons only solidified that decision on her part.

Next to her, Castle shrugged as he flipped through channels. "Well, it's the middle of the day. Since they cancelled most of the good soap operas, there isn't much to watch until prime time except _Judge Judy_ and reruns of _NCIS_."

"You watched soap operas?" Kate asked, not bothering to contain her smirk.

"Oh, don't act all high and mighty," he responded. "I'm sure you watched them too when you were in college."

Kate gave a noncommital grunt but did not refute his statement.

"We could watch _Animal Cops: Houston_," he suggested as the television landed on the Animal Planet station.

Shaking her head, she declared, "Too sad."

Continuing to flip stations, he asked, "_Deadliest Catch_?"

This time he only received a raised eyebrow and a dirty look.

"_Untold Stories of the ER_?"

"How about something scripted," she said. "I feel like watching a story of some kind."

"Aha," Castle declared, changing the channel one more time before dropping the remote control on the couch next to him. "This is it."

"What is it?" Kate asked. They were mid-way through the episode, an older show based on the clothing, hair styles, and complete lack of high definition.

He answered with two words. "_Matlock_ marathon."

Smiling at the corny expression of sentimentality he wore, she said, "That sounds good to me."

Two hours later, they were so busy betting each other on who the killer was and how the light gray-suited lawyer would figure it out that they did not hear Alexis come down the stairs.

"What are you two watching?" the teenager inquired.

"Don't tell me you've never seen _Matlock_?" Kate retorted just as Andy Griffith began his cross-examination of the key witness against his client, who was also, incidentally, the killer.

"Sure she has," Castle answered. Then he looked at his daughter, who was glancing at the television skeptically. "You've never seen _Matlock_? I can't believe I've been so remiss in raising you."

As she settled on the love seat next to them, Alexis asked, "What is it about?"

"It's about a defense attorney who gets his clients acquitted by proving the real killer was someone else," Kate filled her in.

"So... kind of like Perry Mason," the young woman summarized.

"Yeah, a lot like Perry Mason," her dad answered, deciding not to ask if she knew one fictional attorney, how she did not know of the other one.

They watched through the dramatic conclusion as the famed TV attorney elicited the necessary information from a witness to implicate them in the murder and completely exonnerate his innocent client. The familiar format was both comforting and diverting. As the recognizable tones of the show theme began to play through the closing credits, Alexis turned to the two on the couch and asked, "So, if he gets people acquitted of murder, why do you two like this show?"

Kate was the first to respond with a one-shoulder shrug and an amused smile. "I like that he doesn't just prove his client is innocent, but he figures out who the real killer is. It's easy enough to poke enough holes in a criminal case to give a jury reasonable doubt. The hard part is finding out who actually did it."

"Plus he's Andy Griffith," Castle added. "How can anyone not like Andy Griffith?"

"I still like Angela Lansbury better," Kate noted.

"Angela Lansbury?" Alexis asked. "Isn't she the one from _Murder, She Wrote_?"

"That's her. Another great old murder mystery show," the former detective said.

"I've heard the name but never really watched it," Alexis said.

"You really have been deficient in raising your child," Kate told Castle. Then she said to Alexis, "Once the Matlock marathon is over, I'm searching Netflix for some episodes of _Murder, She Wrote_. You'll like it. It's all about a mystery murder writer who solves actual murders."

With a smirk at her father, Alexis stated, "That doesn't sound familiar at all."

"Hey, I solved murders while working with the police," Castle defended. "That old lady just happened to be around every time someone died of unnatural causes. I'm surprised no one ever arrested her!"

"Like you got arrested at a crime scene?" Kate asked.

"I told you, that wasn't my fault."

"Twice."

"Dad!"

"Alexis, it wasn't my fault. I just happened to show up someplace and it happened to be a crime scene," he defended.

"The first time he was holding the murder weapon," Kate pointed out to his daughter.

"Which I had a perfectly good explanation for holding. And I totally helped you solve that case."

Kate simply gave him a knowing, affectionate smile.

"So... how many times have you arrested him?" Alexis asked in amusement.

Kate considered the question for a moment before looking at Castle. "Two, right?" she said. "The one time in that case and the first time we met."

"Yes, two times." He sighed. "Fond memories."

"Sounds like you two made a pretty good team," Alexis observed. Before either of them could respond, she looked back at the television. "Oh, the next episode is starting."

Kate and Castle exchanged an unreadable look before they both directed their attention to the TV as well. With careful, deliberate movements, he reached out a hand to take hers. She gave him an answering squeeze.

"Are you sure you don't want to go to law school?" he asked her quietly half-way through the episode. "You could wear the same well-recognized suit to court every day and wow everyone with your ability to suss out the real killer without any police interference."

Giving a little laugh at the image he painted, Kate countered, "So if I'd be Matlock, who would you be? Jessica Fletcher? Solving random murders that befall your friends and acquaintances when you aren't writing about them?"

"Hey now, I think they'd have made good partners. Matlock and Fletcher. Has a certain ring to it."

From her spot on the love seat, Alexis did not look away from the television as she was so engrossed in the show. She did, however, give them a healthy "Shh!"

Later in the evening, after a dinner of pizza consumed in the living room during their fourth straight hour of _Murder, She Wrote_, all of them had given up any pretense of peace or quiet in the television watching experience.

"I know who did it," Castle declared three minutes into the episode.

"We haven't seen all the suspects yet," Alexis said, frowning.

"We've seen enough," he responded.

Kate jumped in, "Yeah, I think it was the groundskeeper."

This time, Castle frowned. "He didn't look suspicious at all."

"Exactly."

"I think it was the sister," he said.

Alexis took the time to point out, "You guys know that the murder hasn't even happened yet, right? I mean, how do you even know who's going to die?"

"Husband," both stated simultaneously, without hesitation.

Confused, Alexis glanced back at the screen just as Jessica Fletcher happened upon the body of the poor, dead husband. "Have you seen this one before?"

Kate shook her head as Castle declared, "No, I've just got a knack for this kind of thing. Not only can I tell who is going to die, I know who's going to kill them and why. Call it a gift, if you will. A fellow writer's bond."

Rolling her eyes, Kate responded, "They said it was the husband on the Netflix episode summary."

"Oh, they did? I must have missed that…"

"Okay, I'm going to bed," Alexis declared, dragging herself off the love seat. "Too much fictional crime solving in one day for me."

"Good night, sweetheart," her dad said as she leaned down to give him a kiss. "Don't stay up too late reading. And don't read zombie books before you go to sleep."

Snorting at him, she mentioned something about not being dumb enough to give herself nightmares before disappearing up the stairs. As he turned his attention back to the screen, he noticed that Kate's head was now resting against his shoulder. They had been sitting curled up together most of the day, but this change in position foretold her own need for sleep.

"Tired?" he asked.

"Mmm… don't know why," Kate answered. "We haven't done anything all day except watch old television episodes."

"What are you talking about? We've been solving murders all day. And without modern technologies and police resources, thank you very much."

"Solving murders," she repeated, saying the words as though she was tasting the sound of them on her tongue. "We were pretty good at that."

"Could be good at it again… if you want," Castle said quietly, throwing it out there once again. While he respected her desire to find herself, he had begun to suspect that she was secretly, silently flailing. She had followed her lifelong compass pointed towards justice for so long that she no longer knew how to get through life without consulting it.

A few minutes later, she responded with deliberate casualness, "I'm still thinking about it."

"Not that I'm pressuring you."

"I know."

"'Cause you don't have to go back if you don't want to."

Kate smiled as she shifted further into the couch and buried her head a little more firmly against his shoulder. "You sure you're not getting tired of me?" she asked. "This summer has been a lot of togetherness."

Snorting in response, Castle observed, "More togetherness than twelve hour days and the occasional all-nighter trying to hunt down a killer?"

"Well…"

He had a point. They had spent a lot of time together at the precinct, eating take-out, drinking coffee, and staring at the murder board.

"Plus now, in addition to the extra 'togetherness,' I get lots of sex," he declared. She smacked him even as his statement brought an unwitting grin to her face. "And that never gets tiring."

"Never?" she questioned, deliberately twisting his words. "I never tire you out?"

"Well, that's not what I meant."

"What did you mean?"

"I meant, I… um, I guess I was saying… Okay, hold on, let me try this again." She waited patiently as he back-tracked. "I never get tired of being with you. And the sex is a pretty fantastic bonus."

Kate gave a single nod before looking back at the television screen. "Got that right," she said. A moment later, she was unable to suppress a wide smile.

* * *

_A/N: Rest in peace Andy Griffith._


	21. Fireworks

**A/N: **So a few days behind, but here it is anyway. Hopefully ffnet has fixed its glitch with email alerts. As always, I appreciate the reviews.

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**Chapter 21: Fireworks**

Fourth of July.

Independence Day.

Barbecue, potato salad, lemonade, watermelon.

And fireworks.

Kate sighed as she filled in the form on the clipboard, answering the questions she knew and saving the ones she was not sure about for the end.

_Name: Richard Edgar Castle_

She filled in his date of birth, address, and phone number from memory before skipping over his social security number and insurance information. Something told her that she would need to memorize these numbers in the near future.

_Occupation: Writer_

She considered adding a "_/Pain in the Ass_" but decided against it. Let the doctor learn that one for himself.

Under the reason for visit to the emergency room, she wrote, _Hand burned by fireworks._

Holding his injured appendage to his chest, Castle looked over her shoulder and said, "You didn't say accident."

"It wasn't an accident," Kate disputed in obvious irritation. "An accident implies that something unexpected happened. You were messing around and got hurt. That's not unexpected."

"Yeah, but I didn't mean to get hurt."

"You were holding a bottle rocket in your hand. What did you expect?"

Castle's brows knitted together in consternation. "I didn't expect to get burned."

"It said right there on the warning label not to hold it in your hand!"

They had been going back and forth over the same argument since his injury. Indeed, the argument originally started when Kate warned him not to set off the firework from his hand but rather to prop it up in a bottle. 'Bottle rocket' implied bottle. But the writer insisted that he had used these types of fireworks for years and never had a problem. Until tonight.

"You shouldn't yell at me," Castle pouted. "I'm hurt."

"It's just a little burn," Kate responded archly. "The only reason we're here is that Alexis was worried."

Worried was an understatement. When the firework slipped out of the package and began showering sparks on top of Castle's hand, the young woman had screamed in fear, even louder than the writer himself screamed.

"Not worried enough to come with us," he remarked, sounding for all the world like a little boy.

"Did you really want her to miss her 4th of July party to come to the ER with us?" Kate asked.

The boy from the beach and finally called her and invited her out. But after Castle's debacle with the firework, she refused to go. It took some convincing, but she managed to get Alexis to agree that her father would be okay in Kate's charge.

"No," he groused. Then a beat later, he mumbled, "Maybe."

She filled out the rest of the form with information from him before turning it in to the nurse on duty. The woman, an obvious veteran, read the reason for the visit and arched an eyebrow at Kate. "Congratulations, you're our first fireworks injury of the night," the nurse said in a droll, bored voice.

As Kate returned to her seat next to Castle, she took in the rest of the waiting room. There were only a few others with them and she hoped that it would not take too long for a doctor to look at Castle's hand.

"I still can't believe you did that, Castle," she scolded him. "I mean, what kind of example does that set?"

Immediately, he answered, "Oh, Alexis would never do anything that stupid. She really caught onto the lessons of 'do as I say and not as I do' early in life."

Kate wanted to say something else, to point out that Alexis was not the only person for whom she was worried about him setting a bad example. But everything had been going so well between them. They had only been dating for two months, but it was a conversation she knew they should have at some point.

And talking about it was especially important because with each passing day, Kate felt more and more certain that this was it for her. Her _one and done_. No other man held a candle to Richard Castle, and certainly not any man she had ever dated.

The rightness of it actually scared her sometimes, like it was too good to be true.

Whether he sensed her hesitation and extrapolated its reason or he just knew her that well, Castle said, "And any future progeny - were I to have any future progeny - would take after their mother, I would hope, and not pull stupid, crazy stunts just to get the attention of a pretty girl."

Unable to help herself, Kate smiled, all the irritation and anger from the evening leaving her. While she hadn't screamed when the firework had gone off in Castle's hand, the event had had dropped her heart into her stomach and sent her pulse racing. Luckily, the burn was fairly superficial, but it could have been so much worse.

"Well, I'm just glad that you're okay," she told him sincerely.

"Alexis wasn't the only one worried about me," he observed. His self-satisfied grin served to wipe the serene expression from her face as she glared at him in consternation.

"I was worried you were going to give your daughter a heart attack."

"Uh huh, that's all it was," he teased. "You weren't worried about my well being at all."

"No, I was worried about how long I'd have to sit in an Emergency Room waiting room with you," she teased back.

"What, not a fan of ER dates?" Castle asked.

Suddenly, growing more serious, Kate shook her head. "Not a big fan of hospitals at all."

His face fell as he understood her meaning. Of course she wouldn't like ER's or hospitals, having almost died in one.

Castle looked at the floor for several moments, the silence between them having grown a little uncomfortable in the wake of that particular memory. But rather than let it drop, rather than trying to distract her with some other story or bit of silliness, Castle confronted it head-on.

"Do you remember anything after the shooting?" he asked. At her stricken expression, he added, "I mean, after... after they put you in the ambulance. I know you heard what I said before you passed out; I just wasn't sure if you remembered anything after that."

Kate nodded, understanding the question. He wanted to know if she remembered Lanie riding with her in the ambulance, pushing aside the young EMT as she flatlined even as she struggled to keep her friend alive. Did she remember Castle holding her hand, talking to her the entire way, telling her to hold on? Did she remember being wheeled into surgery, the hazy pain of the frantic repair to her body? Did she remember the voices and the sound of the machines monitoring her vitals? She was not sure exactly how much was remembered and how much she had dreamed, but she knew one thing for certain. She remembered more of that time than she ever wished to remember.

"I remember some," she confirmed. "Flashes, mostly. Voices and blurry figures. And pain. Lots of pain. It was sharp in my chest for a while, and then it was just everywhere. After that, I don't remember anything until I woke up."

Castle frowned, clearly not having expected so frank an answer. He looked like he regretted having even brought it up as he said quietly, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I shouldn't have kept it to myself for so long. It made everything so much worse."

They had talked about it, of course, that summer the year before. And Kate had no wish to re-hash her accounting of herself any more than he intended to make her feel guilty.

"The important thing is that we're here now," he told her. Finally, after so much trial and heartache, they were together.

In a hospital.

"I'd prefer it if we were back at the house," Kate said. Her expression betrayed a hint of something else, something more fun and flirty than an ER date.

Castle arched an eyebrow at her knowingly. And suddenly, almost magically, the burn on his hand no longer hurt. He insisted that he did not need to see a doctor, that he felt completely better.

"Nothing that a little ice and antibiotic cream won't cure," he assured her.

Kate argued that they were already there, had already put his paperwork in with the nurse. They might as well stay and have him get checked out. But Castle was insistent.

"You told Alexis you would bring me to the ER. You did that - you brought me here. You never promised her that I would be _seen_ by a doctor."

"Castle, that's disingenuous," she responded. "And besides, now I want you to be seen so that I know you're okay."

He frowned, obviously ready to get home and investigate whatever ideas she hinted at with her sly, sexy smile.

"Richard Castle?" the nurse called finally, a few minutes later.

He followed her back into a private area while Kate waited for him. In hindsight, she wished she'd timed it because he was in and out so quickly, she wondered if he had just waived to the doctor and left. But as he approached her, she noted the bandage on his hand.

"All good?" she asked.

"The burn was superficial. The doc yelled at me for being stupid with fireworks and then he yelled at me even more for cluttering up his ER with a simple burn. I told him that I was lucky enough to have some very special women in my life that worry about my well-being. Then he yelled at me again for worrying you all."

As he followed her out to the car, he gave a more detailed impression of the doctor he nick-named 'House' after Hugh Laurie's rude and sarcastic character. Kate laughed freely, happy that he was okay and that someone other than her and Alexis had got onto him for such dangerous behavior.

"Well, I can't promise anything as spectacular as exploding lights..." Kate began on their way to the car, "but when we get back, I can show you a... safer... way to enjoy fireworks."

"Safer?" he asked, sounding disappointed.

"But no less enjoyable," she assured him.

"Fireworks?" he repeated, the little boy in him lighting up despite the pain from his hand.

Kate took a step closer to him, and then another, until their chests were touching and her face was inches away from his. He leaned down, moving his mouth closer to hers and their noses bumped slightly as her lips drew nearer, then away, and then back again. "I think maybe this time, we should make our own fireworks, Castle," she said very, very quietly.

"Uh huh," he agreed, waiting for the kiss. But she did not kiss him. Instead, she backed away and began heading in the direction of the car once more.

Glancing over her shoulder, she took in his dazed expression as he just watched her go. "You comin', Castle?"

He immediately moved quickly to follow her, rushing to catch up. Almost too softly to hear, he mumbled under his breath, "I hope so."


	22. Weekend at the Hamptons

A/N: Okay, here's a perspective I haven't done before in this story. Let me know what you think.

Thanks to everyone who has reviewed!

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**Chapter 22: Weekend at the Hamptons**

Castle called with the invitation to spend the following weekend with them in the Hamptons on a Tuesday. Esposito decided that asking if he could come up a little early sounded desperate. Instead, he played it cool and asked when on Friday would be good. "Any time," was the answer. Excellent. The drive took about two hours. He'd see them around 11 am.

Not that he had gotten bored with his suspension or anything. No, he treated it as a vacation. Yeah, a well deserved yet unpaid vacation. He finally had time to catch up on all the things he had been meaning to do. While the gym had always been part of his daily routine, he had really begun to explore it. He always knew they had classes there, but he never realized how good a workout Zumba could be. Plus, the classes were always full of women.

Not that he was necessarily looking. And not that he couldn't look.

"Hey, is Lanie coming this weekend?" he asked Castle before hanging up.

"Kate's on the phone with her now. Sounds like she is, but she won't get in until late in the evening." The writer paused before asking, "That's not a problem, is it?"

"No, man, it's cool," he said easily. While he and Lanie weren't actively dating, they had been talking. Just talking.

Maybe this weekend would be a good time to move talking to something a little less... like just talking.

"Hey, I gotta run to the gym. I'll see you on Friday, Castle," he said. "Tell Beckett 'hey' for me and that I better see her in a bikini this weekend."

"I'll be sure to pass that on."

And as soon as he got off the phone, Esposito did exactly what he said he would - he went to the gym. And the next day and the next until by Friday, he felt in great shape and ready for a weekend on the beach.

It did not occur to him until he was halfway to Castle's house in the Hamptons that they might have invited the Ryans as well. Frowning, Espo picked up his phone and decided to go straight to the boss.

He fully expected her to answer her phone, "Beckett." It totally threw him off when she picked up with, "Hey, Espo."

"You sound relaxed," he remarked.

"A few weeks at the beach will do that. You on your way up?"

"Yeah, listen, I was just wondering..."

Now how to phrase his question without sounding like a total jerk...

Anticipating him, Beckett said, "He's not coming this weekend, Espo. We only invited you and Lanie."

"That's not why I was-"

"Yes, it was," she said knowingly.

Esposito's eyes narrowed as he looked out the window of his car, his cell phone held to his ear. She was just so good at this kind of thing. He really wished she hadn't quit the force.

"Okay, maybe it was," he allowed.

"How far away are you?"

"About an hour."

"Then we'll see you when you get here. And Espo?"

"Yeah."

"I've really missed you."

* * *

The house was huge. Not that Esposito had been expecting anything small, but considering how relatively unpretentious Castle's loft was, the size of the beach house surprised him. It even had a gate.

Luckily, Beckett had given him the security number, which he hastily scratched on the back of a receipt having left his notepad in the city. The garage could easily accommodate three cars, but he parked in the driveway. Grabbing his duffle bag, he took the front steps two at a time and rang the bell.

Beckett answered the door, not in a bikini, but in the type of casual clothing he rarely saw her in outside of an undercover operation. She wore cutoff shorts - short shorts - and a loose-fitting white shirt which hung off one shoulder. And she was barefoot.

"Javi," she greeted him, surprising him further by giving him a hug. "I'm glad you could come up for the weekend."

"Thanks for the invite," he said as she led him inside.

The interior of the house was just as impressive as the outside. It stood two stories with a winding staircase in the foyer wrapped around a very expensive-looking chandelier. He followed her through the dining room to the kitchen at the back of the house. While it was also large and held all state-of-the-art appliances, it definitely seemed more homey and lived-in. Castle was standing at the stove making breakfast while Little Castle and Castle's mom sat at the island. Everyone turned to greet him as they entered the room.

He congratulated Alexis on her graduation before turning to Castle.

"Hey, bro," he said. "Nice place you've got here."

"We like it. Hey, are you hungry? I'm just making brunch."

He joined them for the meal and was pleasantly surprised at Castle's cooking. He also enjoyed the lack of tension around the small breakfast table as they ate. No one made the mistake of asking him about work like his family sometimes did. No one asked him how he had been spending his time or how he was taking the suspension. Instead, they talked about what they wanted to do over the weekend - the beach, the pool, a restaurant or grilling out. Summer activities.

"I'm game for the beach," he declared. "Haven't been in while."

And so, after breakfast, the five of them headed to the beach. Martha cast him a pleased smile when he offered to carry her large beach umbrella and chair.

Once they set up their spot on the sand, Esposito pulled off his shirt so he could take a dip in the ocean. The look Beckett gave him was almost as hilarious as the expressions from Castle's mother and daughter.

"Looks like you've been hitting the gym, Espo," she remarked with a barely contained smile.

"Yeah, well..." He shrugged even as he hoped that Lanie noticed as much as the other women did.

They spent most of the day at the beach and he spent most of his time in the ocean. Like him, Beckett enjoyed swimming, and they spent a surprising amount of time BSing back and forth about various things. While he may have worried that spending time with her outside the office would be awkward, especially in light of the whole administrative leave thing, he was wrong. If anything, Beckett seemed a little uneasy with him, as though there was something she wanted to say but could not figure out how to broach the subject.

Finally, while Castle and Little Castle were on the beach working on some sort of sand castle project and Martha was safely settled under her hat, umbrella, and a multitude of scarves shielding her from the sun, Beckett said what was on her mind.

"Espo..." she began, then stopped. "Javi, I really wanted to tell you how sorry I am about dragging you into that case. I made some bad decisions that got us into trouble, and you backed me up anyway. I really appreciate that and I apologize for getting you suspended."

"It's all good," he said easily. "I know you always have my back."

Unlike certain other detectives which he would leave unnamed.

"I just want to know, were you serious about quitting? 'Cause I understand why you did it, but I think if groveled enough, Gates would probably take you back."

He'd heard exactly that through the grapevine of his other buddies at the precinct. Apparently with the entire team down to just Ryan, their solve rate had taken a nose dive. And as much as Gates disliked people challenging her authority, she was all about the numbers.

"I'll think about it," Beckett responded seriously. "I'm kind of taking the summer to get my priorities straight."

He nodded, understanding completely.

Changing topics, he said, "So you and Castle, huh?"

"Yeah."

"Like we didn't all see that coming."

Beckett rolled her eyes at him but could not keep the shit-eating grin from her face.

"So when did you two get together?" he pursued, thinking about the office pool. He felt certain that the intake secretary in booking won, but he wanted to be sure.

"You didn't win the pool," was all she told him. Laughing, he wondered how she'd even found out about it. "So, what about you and Lanie?" she asked.

"Let's just say I wouldn't be starting any pools on us," he answered. In truth, he and Lanie had been talking more, but that was about it. And by the looks of things, 'talking' would be the only place they'd be for a while.

Noticing his discomfort with the subject, Beckett offered, "Tell you what, I won't ask about Lanie if you don't ask about Castle."

"Deal," he said immediately.

The rest of the day went as lazily as the beginning. By late afternoon everyone was tired and ready to get some food, so they headed back to the house to shower up before going out for dinner. Besides, Espo knew that Lanie would be there in a few hours and while he had no qualms with her first sight of him being in his swimsuit, he much preferred looking crisp and clean in the Hawaiian shirt he'd pulled out of the back of his closet.

As fate would have it, Esposito and Castle were the first ones downstairs as the women were still getting ready. This turn of events was even better as he had a few things he needed to talk to the writer about.

"So, you and Beckett," he observed with a grunt and his best interrogation face.

Castle seemed startled by his pointed observation but acknowledged, "Uh... yeah. We're together now. As I'm sure you could tell."

If he hadn't known from Lanie weeks ago, he would have known by her answering Castle's front door in bare feet. Or the first time he saw the two of them kiss - just a peck on the lips. Or definitely that long, lingering kiss on the beach when they thought everyone else was looking elsewhere.

"Yeah, I could tell. Do we need to have the talk, bro?"

The other man raised an eyebrow at him and looked slightly uncomfortable.

"You mean the talk where you ask my intentions and threaten to break my legs if I hurt Kate?"

"Something like that."

In a friendly voice, Castle pointed out, "Hey, I'm a dad. I've given that talk to all of Alexis' boyfriends. I think I know how it goes."

"Good. Well, just pick the scariest talk you ever gave and remember I was Special Forces and a member of the NYPD. They won't ever find the body."

The writer nodded slowly, taking in the threat. "Duly noted," he said.

"Great," Espo responded as he clapped him on the back, instantly changing back to his relaxed, eager self.

But Castle did not let it drop. Instead he inquired, "So just out of curiosity, do you plan to give Kate _the talk_ too?"

"Oh hell no. Beckett scares _me_ sometimes."

* * *

Lanie arrived later that night following their dinner out. Having made the two hour drive in the dark after the end of her shift, she was both tired and a little cranky. But she still looked good.

"And just what are you looking at?" she demanded of him as Beckett opened the door for her and Castle took her bag.

"You," he answered, not bothering to hide his grin as he pictured her in a bikini. He had teased her about that when he met her for coffee earlier in the week.

"Well wipe that silly smirk off your face," Lanie told him pointedly. "And what are you wearing?"

Esposito glanced down at his Hawaiian shirt. "This is my beach shirt," he said proudly, then frowned as she laughed at him.

"What?"

But his silly smirk returned a moment later as she asked him to show her to a room upstairs. Quickly, he took her bag from Castle and escorted her up. His good mood continued through the next morning as the group of them decided to spend a leisurely day at Castle's pool. While Lanie did not wear a bikini as he'd hoped, she did look pretty decent in a one-piece which hugged all the right curves.

"You're looking good," he informed her.

"Not looking too bad yourself," she returned flirtatiously, her mood having improved with a good night's sleep. "So do you still keep an apartment or are you just living at the gym now?"

"I'm just staying in good shape," Esposito countered.

"Yeah, you are."

They bantered back and forth while reclining on matching chaise loungers as they watched the others enjoy the pool. Beckett, Castle, and Castle's daughter were playing some sort of pool volleyball game that Espo knew he'd need to get in on soon to appease his competitive nature. But he also wanted to talk to Lanie while they had a few moments in relative private.

"So Beckett seems happy," he noted.

Lanie smiled. "She does, doesn't she? They're cute together."

"Yeah, I wasn't sure if they'd be cute or irritating when they finally got together, but I think you're right about the cute."

The two of them watched as Castle dove for the volleyball, missing it by inches as he went under the water. Kate cheered for the point scored by the team of her and Alexis. She was still smiling when Castle emerged from the water in front of her. He must have begun tickling her - Espo hoped that was what the writer was doing with his hands under the water - because she started giggling and fighting him, all the while with a grin plastered across her face.

Giggling. Beckett was actually giggling.

"Make that irritatingly cute," he amended his former statement.

"Oh, come on," Lanie said. "When was the last time you saw her this happy?"

"Usually just when she's around Castle," he acknowledged.

With finality, she stated, "Okay then."

He watched them a little longer before a realization came to mind. "You know," he began, "If Beckett convinces Gates to let her and Castle come back to work... you and I will be the only single ones there."

It was kind of a depressing thought. Ryan, who he had no intention of being partnered with again but would likely have to suffer through until Gates approved his request for a new partner, was married to Jenny, the two of them being an even more nauseating couple than Castle and Beckett. And now Castle and Beckett had finally gotten together.

The couple wasn't exactly making out right there in the pool - Castle's daughter was present, after all - but considering the looks passing between them, they may as well have been.

"So what if we're single?" Lanie asked. "Just means we get invited to the best parties."

Esposito snorted at that. "I always get invited to the best parties."

From the pool, a voice called out and they both turned to see Beckett beckoning them to get in the pool. Castle added his own request that Espo help him beat the girls.

Not needing any further prompting, the former couple gave up their seats in the sun and jumped iton the water to join the game.


	23. Weekend at the Hamptons 2

A/N: Still trying to keep this light while I inject some realism. Thanks for all the reviews on the last chapter. I had a really hard time writing from Esposito's POV.

* * *

**Chapter 23: Weekend at the Hamptons 2**

As Lanie and Espo joined them in the pool, Kate noticed a subtle unspoken exchange between the two not-quite-lovers-but-more-than-friends. Having spent a good portion of her life as the butt of rumor and gossip, Kate's radar easily picked up on when others were discussing her, and the two of them were lit up like Christmas trees. She would need to have words with Lanie later. But first, she needed her friend's help to whoop the guys' butts in pool volleyball.

Unfortunately, Espo's athleticism combined with Castle's general height advantage helped them prevail, much to the chagrin of the three women. After they dismantled the net and disbanded to a freestyle swim, Castle approached her with a sly smile on his face.

"So, I won," he pointed out. "What do I get for winning?"

His fingers toyed with the thin straps of her bathing suit as he smiled at her suggestively, his voice low enough that Alexis could not hear across the pool.

"You didn't win anything," Kate told him. "Espo totally carried you through that game."

"There is no 'i' in 'team,'" he retorted.

"Fine, what do you want?" she asked teasingly.

His eyebrows shot up suggestively. "Hmm... what do I want?"

"Just bear in mind that because it was a 'team' win, whatever you get, Espo also gets."

Immediately, Castle's eyebrows fell in tandem with the corners of his mouth as he frowned at her in consternation. There would be no way he would suggest anything lewd or sexual now. "You are an evil woman, Kate Beckett," he observed.

"That's why you like me."

His arms were around her now, his chest pressed almost flush against hers.

"Maybe one of the reasons..."

Out of the corner of her eye, Kate noticed Alexis look at them before quickly looking away, an expression of embarrassment on her face. Gently, she pushed herself away from Castle, afraid that the display of affection might cause the young woman either embarrassment or jealousy. She tried to make the movement look natural, but he noticed immediately.

Castle seemed hurt by her actions but when she cocked her head in the direction of his daughter before giving him a slight shake of the head, he nodded in understanding. Alexis had never said anything to her specifically about being uncomfortable with Kate's new relationship with her dad, but Kate could tell that certain things were still jarring, such as when he kissed her or embraced her in front of others.

For their part, Lanie and Esposito simply watched them with knowing grins while they conversed in low tones. Kate's internal radar went off once again. The medical examiner and Hispanic detective were definitely talking about them.

Later that evening, they decided to go out, with Alexis and Martha electing to stay at home. Kate frowned as Alexis bid them a fun evening before disappearing up the stairs. She wondered if the girl felt like a third wheel and would have gone and spoken with her if Castle hadn't discouraged her. "Sometimes she just needs time to herself," he advised.

And yet, Kate still felt as though she were the evil step-sister leaving Cinderella to clean chimneys while she went to the ball.

The restaurant Castle picked was both elegant and expensive, although the food was amazing and they had a live band with a small dance floor. Kate could tell that the establishment catered to the elites of the community, the people like Castle who spent their summers away from the city in walled palaces by the sea.

The four of them - Kate reminded herself not to refer to them as two couples - had fun laughing through dinner and drinks with Castle telling stories from their summer in the Hamptons thus far. His self deprecating humor and skill at crafting a tale kept her mesmerized and quiet as she listened to him speak. A couple of times she caught Lanie looking at her and Kate wondered if her friend could make out the stars in her eyes.

Most of the time, she could forget that he was not just Castle, the annoying and ruggedly handsome writer who shadowed her for four years, but also Richard Castle, the man on the back of book covers, a writer on the same shelves as Connelly and Patterson. The writer she sort of fell in love with and let her carry her through those years after her mother's murder. Her favorite writer.

And sometimes, she was reminded again.

On this particular occasion, it was a high society woman in a dress which likely cost Kate's yearly salary when she was with the NYPD with jewelry likely totaling more than Kate would ever make in a lifetime of work, even counting a generous retirement. The woman completely ignored everyone at their table except Castle as she approached.

"Rick Castle, I thought that was you," she said, addressing him informally even though it was clear by the writer's face that he did not know her. She held out a hand anyway, which he politely grasped. "My husband didn't believe me, but it is definitely you. I'm such a huge fan."

Castle nodded to her politely. "Thanks for reading."

At that point, the woman deigned to notice his dining companions. With a look at Kate, her voice dropped to a more disdainful tone. "And this must be your muse, the famous police detective."

"Kate Beckett," she corrected the woman.

"How quaint," the society woman responded, and Kate felt her blood boiling.

Luckily, Castle intervened. He hastily scribbled his autograph on a stray napkin as he addressed her, "It is always lovely to meet a fan. Thanks for stopping by."

He handed her the napkin with a note of finality and after flashing him one more smile, the woman walked back to her own table.

Espo's eyebrows were raised to the ceiling. "Does that happen often?" he asked.

Castle shrugged. "Not often."

It was the first time Kate had been recognized since the photos of them had been printed. She couldn't say that she liked the experience.

But her writer – and she mentally added the possessive - quickly took her mind off the irritating incident with the socialite woman by whisking her onto the dance floor. Out of the corner of her eye, Kate watched as Esposito did the same with Lanie.

As she and Castle danced to the soft, soothing sounds of the band, moving slowly and close together, he asked her quietly, "Are you having a nice evening?"

"Yes. Of course," she added.

"Sorry about that woman."

"It happens sometimes."

Because she was dating Richard Castle. Strange women would always be approaching him for an autograph or a few words with their favorite author. Rich women. Beautiful women.

"Still - I'm sorry."

Lots of women. Two ex-wives. His daughter. His mother. The fans. Suddenly, the sheer number of women in Castle's life began to overwhelm her.

And yet... there they were on the dance floor of a swanky restaurant in the Hamptons, his arms wrapped securely around her while they moved in time to the rhythms of the music.

Her. He was with her, not anyone else.

And the look in his eyes said he didn't want to be with anyone else.

* * *

They got back from the restaurant very late. Martha had already gone to bed but Alexis had waited up for them.

Espo and Lanie were a little tipsy and more than a little vocal about it as they stumbled into the house. But they straightened up at the sight of Castle's daughter, Lanie especially, and wished her a good night before heading upstairs. Kate listened to them laughing together as they got to the second floor and she noted the sound of only one door closing.

Kate smiled to herself as she remembered them dancing together at the restaurant. Maybe they really were nothing but good friends who occasionally enjoyed the pleasure of the other's company (sometimes naked), but she still held out hope that they could find something else more substantial.

"Alexis, you didn't have to wait up for us," Castle said as he approached his daughter.

Kate paused, not sure if she should give them some privacy by going up stairs or waiting to say goodnight to Alexis. The young woman bounced off the couch to give her father a hug, and as she did so, she pointedly did not look at Kate. Taking that as a cue, Kate quickly headed upstairs to let them have some time to themselves.

Castle followed her up a half hour later, and she was already changed and sitting in bed reading. "Everything okay?" she asked him.

"Fine," he answered as he hung up his jacket and took off his dress shoes. She waited for him to elaborate, to give her some clue as to his conversation with his daughter, but he said nothing else.

Somehow, that feeling she got when people are talking about her pricked at the back of her mind, like whatever Alexis and her father had discussed for half an hour involved her.

Long after he had crawled into bed next to her and they both turned out their individual lights, Kate stayed awake just staring at the ceiling and listening to the sound of the waves. She had always known that Alexis was the most important person in Castle's life, that she would always take precedence. And while Kate had no problems with that arrangement, she worried that in their cocoon of new relationship bliss that Castle might have lost sight of that.

Before she managed to fall asleep, Kate resolved to do something about it.


	24. Weekend at the Hamptons 3

A/N: As always, thank you for the reviews and feedback.

And no, this isn't becoming an angst fic :) Just trying to stay true to the characters and the sort of issues they would likely have to deal with.

* * *

**Chapter 24: Weekend at the Hamptons 3**

"So, how did you sleep?" Kate asked knowingly.

They were standing in the kitchen putting together cold lunch meat sandwiches for everyone, no one wanting to bother with the grill or going out for lunch. Kate glanced out the window to confirm Alexis was still playing outside in the pool with Castle and Esposito before answering. Martha still hadn't come down from upstairs.

"I slept fine," Lanie responded archly. While she had woken with a bit of a hangover and an ex-boyfriend in her bed, neither were a surprise to her.

"Sounds like you had fun last night."

She did have a pleasant evening and an even pleasanter night. But she didn't want Kate to get any ideas.

"We're just friends. Sometimes that has benefits, but nothing beyond that." Lanie warned her, "Just because you're ridiculously happy in your relationship with Castle now doesn't mean you get to try and hook me back up with Javi."

Kate grinned at her. "I am happy, Lanie. I don't think I've ever been happier."

She said the words freely and without even a hint of hesitation. And while Lanie had only been at the beach house for less than a day, she could see how relaxed and free her friend seemed, especially when a certain writer was around.

"I can see that," she remarked with a knowing smile. "You act like a giddy school girl every time Castle's in the room."

"Stop it, Lanie. I do not."

But Kate was smiling as she protested, even blushing a little.

"I'm just glad you're enjoying yourself."

Nodding, the former detective agreed, "I really am."

"What about Alexis? How are things going with her?"

"Pretty good. I know she had some reservations at first, but I think we're starting to hit it off."

"That's good."

Kate went on, "But I still think there's a wall there I haven't broken through yet."

"You aren't exactly the first woman her father has dated," Lanie pointed out.

"Trust me, I know."

Having had many conversations together in the morgue over dead bodies, Lanie knew herself to be in a unique position when it came to understanding Alexis Castle's point of view. The girl's mother was a flake. Her father was both famous and a little over-the-top when it came to... well, just about everything. And his track record with women was not exactly stellar. Two failed marriages and likely too many dates and dalliances to count. Alexis was lucky to have her grandmother as a motherly influence. Sometimes, Lanie felt surprised that the young woman had turned out as normal and insightful as she had.

And as protective as her father.

"So how is everything else going?" Lanie asked. "I saw those pictures of you and Castle in the paper."

Kate nodded. "Yeah, that was a total fiasco."

"You didn't want people to know?" her friend questioned. Mentally, she added, _Then you shouldn't be making out on the street._

"I..." she paused. "I don't mind people knowing. I guess I was just a little thrown by having pictures of myself right there on page six. Pictures I didn't even know were being taken at the time."

"You knew that would probably happen," Lanie counseled her. "Writer Boy isn't some Average Joe doctor or police officer. He lives on page six."

"I know. And it didn't really bother me once I got used to the idea. But Castle got really upset."

The medical examiner nodded. "He was upset 'cause he thought you'd be upset."

"Yeah."

"Which got you upset because you thought he didn't want everyone to know."

Rounding on her, Kate demanded, "Now how did you know that right away and we had to have a huge argument about it?"

"Trust me, when it comes to miscommunication, I am a pro," Lanie assured her. "But everything worked out, right?"

"Yeah, I just... what if I screw this up, Lanie?" she asked.

"You'll work it out," her friend said.

Kate looked skeptical, the doubts and concerns creeping in again. And Lanie understood why. This wasn't just another relationship with just another guy. This was Castle, a man so tired up in expectation, years of flirtation and history that to have it not work out… that would be devastating.

"Just look at it this way," Lanie told her, "The two of you have been together in some form of fashion for four years. That's a long time to have to get along with someone. And now you've taken it to the next logical level. And you'll continue to work things out just like you always have."

Still looking uncertain, Kate said, "You know how we've worked things out? One time I threw him out of the precinct. One time he left to spend the summer here with-" She paused, looking for the proper word "-another woman. One time I left him for the entire summer-"

This time Lanie interrupted her. "Because you were shot and needed to recover."

"Still, what if-"

"Okay, now stop it. No more 'what if's or negativity. You two are doing fine. That man is in love with you, and you are in love with him. Nothing else matters. Not his family, not page six, and certainly not the past."

Kate nodded decisively as though she were steeling herself. "I know," she declared.

"So are you going to stay here the rest of the summer?" Lanie asked, steering the conversation to a slightly different topic.

"They're planning on staying here through August," she answered. Her voice waived uncertainly as she continued, "But I was thinking about going back to the city next week. This is the last summer Alexis has before college, and I want her and Castle to have plenty of time together to do all their father-daughter stuff."

"Have you told Castle?" Lanie asked with a raised eyebrow. While she understood Kate's motives, she wondered how the writer would take such a separation.

"Not yet. I was going to wait until tomorrow after you guys leave."

"You don't want to catch a ride back to the city tomorrow with me?" Lanie offered. She knew Kate had left her car in Manhattan and had likely forgotten that fact.

"Actually, that's not a bad idea. Maybe I'll mention it to him after dinner. I just don't want Castle to think I'm running away."

Lanie snorted at her. "Aren't you?"

The former detective's eyes flashed as she grabbed up the tray of sandwiches they had finished making. "No, I'm not."

As she watched Kate take the food out the sliding glass door to the patio, Lanie muttered to herself, "Yeah, you are."

* * *

For such a big, expensive house, Castle's mansion in the Hamptons really had thin walls. Lanie could not quite hear everything being said, but she caught the gist of it. From what little of the conversation she over heard, Castle took the news about as well as Lanie expected him to take it. While he understood Kate's stated motivation - giving him more alone time with Alexis - he must have sensed the same underlying hint of something else that Lanie had felt.

He was still up and sitting outside by the pool after everyone else had gone to bed. Lanie spotted him as she went down to the kitchen to get a glass of water.

Sticking her head outside, she asked him, "Can't sleep?"

Castle startled at the sound of her voice but quickly settled back into his seat when he saw it was her. He shrugged in response to her question, non-committal but clearly preoccupied.

Once she had taken a seat next to him, he said quietly, "Kate's going back with you tomorrow."

Not bothering to denying knowing, Lanie stated, "She wants you to have more time with Alexis."

"I know." But clearly he didn't like it. "She's leaving me."

"She's not leaving you. She's just going back to the city for a while."

"Feels like she's leaving," Castle pouted.

Suddenly realizing that she had somehow gotten into the middle of some sort of weird divide between her newly dating friends, Lanie shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "You two have been together almost non-stop since Kate quit her job, right?"

"Yeah."

"That's over two months. That isn't sustainable, Castle, not when you first start a relationship. Everyone needs their own space."

"I give her space," he responded.

"When was the last time you two slept in separate beds?" After a few seconds of watching him think about it, Lanie continued, "And it isn't like she's leaving the country. She's just going back to the city, to her own apartment and her own life for a while."

Softly, he said, "It feels like she's running."

The medical examiner thought about suggesting that they fit Kate with some concrete boots, but discarded the thought before speaking. Too ominous. But on the other hand…

"You know," Lanie suggested in return, "she's been up here for two months, ever since she almost fell off that roof chasing her own shooter, got suspended, and quit her job. Maybe she's finally _stopped_ running."

Castle turned to her with a raised eyebrow, the thought clearly not having occurred to her before. "You think she needs to find herself?" he speculated.

"I don't know what she needs. I doubt she knows what she needs at the moment. But while she figures it out, one thing you can give her is your support."

"Of course," he said automatically, and Lanie suspected from his tone that if she'd ask him to donate a vital organ to Kate that he would have given the exact same response.

They sat in silence for several moments until Castle spoke again. "You know I love her, right?"

Lanie smiled at him. "From what I hear, the feeling's mutual."

Her comment earned her a return smile. "We'll be okay," he said.

She wasn't sure how he did it, how with one simple statement he likely did not completely believe, Castle projected complete confidence. It was as if he was saying that even if it wasn't okay, that he would make it okay.

If Kate was running, he would follow her. If she was just trying to find herself, he would help with the search.

"Yeah, you will," Lanie agreed, this time really believing it.


	25. Long Distance

**A/N: **To try and keep everything clear in this chapter, italicized dialogue is the other end of a phone conversation. Bolded text represents text messages.

All you reviewers out there are awesomesauce! I love hearing from you.

* * *

**Chapter 25: Long Distance**

Three hours.

Kate left with Lanie for the city three hours earlier. The trip only took two hours, and give or take a little extra time to account for traffic, she should have been back at her apartment. Before leaving, Kate had promised to call him when she got home to let him know she arrived safely.

And still, no phone call.

Castle resisted the urge to check his cell phone on the off chance that it had rung or buzzed and he simply hadn't heard it. He had the feeling Alexis would not appreciate yet another such interruption to their dinner. To make up for her not going to dinner with them the night before, he decided that they should go out to a fancy restaurant, just the two of them.

As much as he hated the fact that Kate decided to return to the city, he had to admit, she made the right call. When she told Alexis that she was leaving them to have some father-daughter time, the girl immediately brightened up. She didn't necessarily say that she was glad Kate was leaving, but she did seem excited about the idea of her and Castle spending more time together before she started college in the fall.

"So what do you want to do this week?" he asked her brightly, pushing thoughts of Kate to the back of his mind. "We could go snorkeling. Or kayaking. Or parasailing. Oh, you always wanted to go BASE jumping."

"_You_ always wanted to go BASE jumping, Dad," Alexis told him, "until I reminded you how dangerous it is."

He frowned. Ah yes, that involved jumping off of cliffs, bridges, or tall buildings. He didn't really want to do that.

"What about mini golf?" Castle suggested instead.

Alexis countered, "What about real golf?"

"Bowling?"

"Or paintball," she said.

Taking in all of their ideas, he began to nod his head. "Okay. That all sounds good. I think that'll be enough to tide us over until Wednesday at least."

Alexis laughed at him and for a few minutes, Castle flashbacked to when she was just a little girl and would accuse him of being silly her in little-girl voice. She really was all grown up now. A high school graduate. A college freshman. A grown woman.

"You know you'll always be my little girl, right?" he asked her.

With a wide grin, she told him, "Maybe not so little anymore."

"I don't know; I think I could still give you piggy back rides."

"Dad, last time you tried that, I was twelve and you threw your back out."

Ah, now that she mentioned it, he vaguely remembered that experience. As he recalled, after he collapsed to the ground in pain it was all a haze of muscle relaxers and pain killers for two days.

"We won't add that to the list then."

* * *

By the time they got back to the beach house, Castle had grown quietly frantic at the fact that Kate had not called. It had now been four and a half hours since she and Lanie left the Hamptons. As soon as Alexis had packed herself off to her room for the evening, he pulled out his cell and hit speed dial.

Kate answered on the second ring.

_"Hey,"_ she said. _"How was your dinner with Alexis?"_

He answered a brief "Fine" before demanding, "Why didn't you call me? When did you get back in the city?"

_"We got back a couple of hours ago. I didn't want to interrupt your dinner."_

"I was worried," he grumbled.

_"It isn't that far a drive,"_ she protested. _"And Lanie was driving. Do you know how safe a driver she is? Every time I suggested that she could go a few miles over the speed limit, she began describing in detail some of the car accident victims she's seen."_

Eek.

"Remind me never to ride with Lanie," Castle muttered. He knew Kate was changing the subject and decided to let her. He had no wish to fight with her now that he had her on the phone. "I miss you," he said, not caring that he was whining like a love-sick teenager.

_"Castle, it's been four hours."_

"Four and a half," he corrected.

_"Still not very long."_

"Long enough."

Kate sighed, and he knew he should drop it. This separation was not for any other purpose than to give him time with Alexis. Kate wasn't running.

She wasn't.

"So..." he said, forcing his tone into a lighter range. "What are you wearing?"

Laughing at his clichéd question, she responded, _"I'm wearing what you saw me wearing four and a half hours ago."_

"You mean you haven't... changed into something more comfortable?"

_"Mmm,"_ she purred back, her voice even sexier over the phone. _"What did you have in mind?"_

And suddenly, the distance wasn't so far any more.

* * *

Castle woke up the next day to a buzzing sound. Disoriented, he sat up and looked around, slightly confused by the lack of a warm body next to him. Kate rarely awoke before he did...

Oh yeah. Kate was back in the city.

He sighed at the realization even as he dug among the sheets for his cell phone. They had stayed up on the phone well into the night and by the time they hung up, he only had enough energy to drop it in the bed next to him.

Once he finally found it, he discovered the reason for the buzzing. He had a text message. From Kate.

**Good morning**

He immediately texted her back.

**Good morning to you. How did you sleep?**

**Good. Got to bed late. Someone kept me up ;)**

Castle chuckled at her reply before typing out his own response.

**Wouldn't know anything about that :D What are you doing today?**

As he waited for her to text him back, he rolled out of the bed and began the process of getting dressed. As he was brushing his teeth, his phone buzzed again.

**Going for a run. Clean my apartment. Maybe learn a new hobby.**

Curious, he typed out, **What sort of new hobby?**

**Maybe knitting? Archery? Piano?**

Castle frowned at the suggestions. None of them really screamed 'Kate' to him. But if she wanted to try new things, by all means.

With a smile, he texted her back, **You should take up BASE jumping.**

**Done it once. I'm good.**

He never knew she'd been BASE jumping. How did he not know this about her? See? There was still so much about the woman that was a mystery. He needed more time to work on that mystery-

His phone vibrated again.

**Talk to you later. Go spend time with your daughter. xoxo**

* * *

Just like old times, he and Alexis had fun on their first day of the summer with just the two of them. They actually did some of the activities they had talked about the night before, such as paintball and mini golf, as well as a trip through the giant maze at the mini golf place. They both raced it to see who could get through the fastest – Alexis won, of course – and then did it again to see how lost they could get.

By the time the sun had set and they returned back to the beach house, they were both exhausted. They collapsed next to each other on the couch as Martha took it upon herself to make them some dinner in the kitchen. Castle considered it a testament to his state of fatigue that he let her.

"So, parasailing tomorrow?" he said as he looked over at his progeny, not entirely sure if he was serious or not.

"How about we just go to the beach or hang out at the pool?" Alexis suggested instead.

"Even better."

He watched as his daughter looked down at her lap and began fiddling idly with the edges of her shorts. A moment later, she said, "You know, Kate didn't have to leave. I know you liked having her here."

"She just wanted to make sure we had plenty of father-daughter time this summer," he responded. But Alexis still sported a guilty expression, as though she felt responsible for Kate's decision. "And I think she needed some time to herself anyway. I mean, you're used to having me around full time, but for her it's been kind of a challenge."

He hadn't really thought about it until Lanie pointed it out, but the fact that Kate had spent so much time with them in the Hamptons really was remarkable. For such a private person who lived alone, an extended vacation with a family as not-private as theirs must have been difficult.

As his daughter smiled, he hoped he had assuaged her concerns. A moment later, Alexis commented, "You know, I really like her, Dad."

"Me too," he said, suppressing a sigh of relief. Castle wasn't really sure what he would do if Alexis told him she disapproved of his relationship with Kate.

"And she... I know she's made some mistakes in the past, but she seems like she really likes you, too."

Oh, he was fairly convinced of that himself. But something Kate had said to him over the weekend tickled the back of his mind.

"Alexis, you need to know - no matter what might happen with Kate and me or me and any other woman... you are the most important person in my life. You know that, right?"

Instantly, he felt his daughter's arms wrapped around his neck as she whispered, "Thanks, Dad. You're the most important person in my life too, you know?"

"Well, that won't always be true," he said. As Alexis began to argue with him, he held up one hand. "No, no, listen. You're growing up. One day - hopefully one day in the distant, distant future, you'll meet someone. You'll fall in love, maybe decide to get married. And maybe you'll have children. And then, if you have kids... you will understand."

"The distant, _distant_ future," she repeated with a grin.

"Very distant."

"I love you, Dad."

"I love you too, Alexis."

It occurred to Castle once again that Kate was right - maybe he and Alexis did need this time together. Not only did he need to reassure her that she would always be his daughter and hold the highest place in his heart - but he also needed that reassurance from her that even if she was growing up, even if she was already technically grown - she would always need her dad.

Later that night, when he crawled into his lonely bed, the sheets still twisted and gnarled from the morning, Castle pulled out his cell phone to text Kate.

**You were right.**

A few minutes later, it vibrated in response.

**Right about Alexis?**

**Yeah, she did need some daddy/daughter time. So did I.**

A few seconds after his text went through, his phone vibrated differently - Kate was calling him.

_"Everything go okay?"_ she asked by way of greeting.

"Oh yeah, except for the beating my ego took when she beat me in both mini golf and paintball." He wasn't even going to mention the maze. That was just too embarrassing.

Castle heard her chuckle over the line and wished he could see her face, the way her lips curved up into a smile as she looked at him. He really needed to figure out how to do Skype on his cell phone.

_"You haven't gotten used to that by now, Castle?"_ she asked.

"What about you, Ms. Learning to Underwater Basket Weave? What did you do today?"

Through the momentary silence, he could picture her looking away, perhaps even blushing, as she considered the most appropriate response. Finally, she said, _"Actually, I caught up on some reading."_

"Some reading?" he asked.

_"Some re-reading,"_ Kate clarified.

Aha. So she'd spent the day - her first day away from him in weeks - reading his books. He did not even bother to suppress the proud grin on his face as he said, "So what were you re-reading? Anyone I'd know?"

Teasingly, she answered, _"Maybe."_

Another benefit to this separation they had going - she had the most remarkable phone voice. She sounded so tantalizing, so near and yet... so far.

And then she said the words he always wanted to hear from her, the phrase he had dreamed about on certain lonely nights.

_"So, Castle,"_ she began. _"What're you wearing?"_


	26. Center of Attention

**A/N: **Thank you to everyone who has continued to read this story (and especially to those who review).

* * *

**Chapter 26: Center of Attention**

Luckily, three days later, Castle had reason to return to the city, at least for a day. Black Pawn was hosting a preview party to publicize the upcoming release of his new book, _Frozen Heat_, and Gina told him in no uncertain terms that he was required to attend.

And bring a date. Specifically, she told him to bring Kate as the media already knew they were together.

Kate accompanying him to a black tie event where he could show her off at his girlfriend? Gina didn't need to ask him twice.

Kate, on the other hand, took some convincing.

_"I don't know..."_ she hemmed, the uncertainty in her voice transmitting through his cell phone loud and clear.

"You have to come with me," he pressed. "Everyone will ask why you aren't there. They'll assume I'm in the dog house and all night I'll get nothing but relationship advice."

He hoped for a laugh but his joke just fell flat. _"You should take Alexis,"_ she suggested instead.

"Kate..."

_"Okay fine, I'll go,"_ she relented, just a little too easily. Castle suspected that her resistance to attending was mostly just for show. _"I don't have anything to wear."_

Castle knew she had that dress she'd worn to the embassy party, the one she had worn on that case with the Scotland Yard detective. But even if she did look fantastic in it, he had no wish to ever see her wear it again.

"All being taken care of," he assured her. He grinned to himself, glad he had taken the time to pick out a dress and instruct Paula to have it delivered to her.

There was a pause on the other end of the line before he heard her ask in an amused voice, "Should I be afraid, Castle?"

"Definitely."

* * *

Having agreed to pick her up, Castle arrived at her apartment early with flowers and a gift tucked into the pocket of his tuxedo. After knocking, he waited for her to answer, but the seconds stretched by. Surely she had heard him knock? Maybe he should knock again...

He reached out to do so, but then had second thoughts. Maybe she just needed more time to get to the door and she wouldn't appreciate him hurrying her by knocking again...

Castle let more time pass, then felt silly. What if she genuinely hadn't heard him? If she was still getting ready-

Bouncing on the balls of his feet, Castle knocked again, more loudly this time. Just in case.

A moment later, the door opened revealing the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

"Hey, Castle," she greeted him with a smart, sexy smile.

The dress was beautiful when he saw it on the hanger, but on her... stunning. The white fabric had patterned silver sequences which flashed and sparkled as she moved. And the way the halter top fastened between her shoulder blades in the back left a wide expanse of skin visible. The rest of the dress clung to her body as it cascaded to the floor.

"You look amazing," he finally managed. Stepping forward, he put his hand to the side of her face before moving in to kiss her.

As they separated a moment later, he noticed Kate blushing slightly. "You picked out the dress," she reminded him.

"Yeah, I really picked good," he agreed, stepping back so he could stare at her a little longer.

He did not realize he was still holding her flowers until she stepped forward and plucked them from his hand. With a look of mixed annoyance and amusement, she took them into the kitchen, presumably to find a vase. Of course, her movement only served to give him an even better view of the dress from behind.

Instinctively, he followed her into her kitchen. Waiting until she had finished messing with the flowers - why was it necessary to put them in water right away anyway? They'd survived all the way over from the florist - his body finally had enough with the waiting, and he pulled her to him in a hurried, desperate embrace.

His lips were on hers, then on her skin left bare by the cut of the dress. Castle paused momentarily, waiting for her to protest, to tell him that they were going to be late, that they should hold off for another time. But she said no such thing.

Instead, breathless and flushed with arousal, she asked, "Fashionably late okay with you?"

"Oh yeah."

They did not even make it the bedroom.

* * *

"I love your dress!"

"Oh, you really are an inspiration, aren't you?"

"I can see what Richard sees in you!"

The compliments were coming in fast and furious as they circled the room, Kate's arm firmly tucked into his as she refused to let him abandon her with any of the vultures - er, party guests - that had swarmed them the moment they entered the room. Everyone had a comment for Kate, either well intended or barely veiled in civility, about just about everything - her dress, her shoes, her (former) job, her dating Castle, everything. It was as though the floodgates had opened and suddenly she was swept up in a tide of the curious and the disparaging alike.

But much to Castle's surprise, she handled them all like a pro. She answered the non-probing questions with honesty, the probing ones with not-so-subtle misdirection, and the sarcastic comments with a sort of answering sass that both highlighted their rudeness and her wit.

All in all, Castle thought the evening was going smashing.

The room was decorated in shades of blue - to match the cover art for _Frozen Heat_, which was displayed prominently around the room.

"I am never coming to one of these things with you again," Kate whispered to him as they found a moment to themselves in a relatively private corner.

"You're doing great," he assured her.

"Castle, I'm used to interrogating suspects. I'm not used to being the one interrogated - by a press conference of people, no less!"

"And you thought my life was all fun and games," he joked.

Ignoring his attempt at humor, she asked seriously, "How do you put up with these people? Even the nice ones I want to strangle for being so forward and intrusive."

He shrugged. "I guess you get used to it."

"Do you know one of them asked me if we've been together all along and just keeping it a secret?"

Not an unusual question, Castle knew. He frequently had to dodge that one, ever since _Heat Wave_ came out and it was made known that Kate was the muse for Nikki.

"I think you're doing just fine," he told her. "Besides, we only need to stay for another hour or so, and then we can get out of here."

He had been thinking of getting her out of there all night. If they hadn't already enjoyed a little 'dessert' at her apartment before the party, he would have been hard pressed to keep from dragging her into a semi-secluded bathroom, broom closet, or dark corner. The dress looked even more breathtaking with the gift he had brought her - a stunning white gold heart with diamonds inlaid.

Kate refused it at first, of course. But he'd pressed, insisted that it would match her dress and her sparkling eyes. When she was distracted by snorting at his corny compliment, he slipped the jeweled piece around her neck. It nestled perfectly between her breasts, just at the perfect height to obscure any traces of the scar that were not covered by her makeup. While he had partially chosen the low-cut gown to make it impossible for her to completely cover all trace of the bullet wound, he did not want her to feel uncomfortable.

"Before we leave, you know what you owe me," Kate informed him.

Oh yes. There was that. A trade-off for her acceptance of the diamond heart, he had agreed to dance with her. A real dance, without any ulterior motives or distractions. Just the two of them... and the several hundred people on Black Pawn's guest list.

Those said people seemed to go silent when he led her out onto the floor as the band began playing a song he had generously tipped them to play. The rhythm was slow and sensual, matching perfectly the feel of Kate's body against his as they moved together. At first, they maintained eye contact, but after a few moments, he pulled her even tighter against him, bringing them cheek to cheek. As he did so, he whispered something dirty into her ear, a promise for the rest of the evening when they got back to her apartment.

He could hear the smile in her voice as Kate whispered back something of equally delicious salaciousness. Even with their earlier activities in her kitchen, it was going to be a long night before he could get her alone again.

To keep his mind from focusing too much on his body's desire to ravage her, Castle relied on his other senses. She smelled amazing, both spicy and sweet, a perfume he knew she wore on special occasions. Her voice in his ear was like a musical instrument, the kind he always wanted to learn to play but never had the time or inclination to practice. The sight of her - well, that had already been covered, as had the feel of her, although the warmth of her skin was something he would never get over.

He mentally ticked through his senses, making sure he had covered each one. Sound - check. Sight - definite check. Smell - oh, yeah. Touch - yeah, he was going to get himself in trouble with that one.

But wait, that was only four. What was the last sense? He knew there were five...

Oh yes, the last sense was taste, he remembered belatedly, feeling somewhat lightheaded from the onslaught of all his other senses.

He knew she would be furious with him, would never let him live it down. But he had to do it, in the name of scientific research and to keep his own sanity. He had to employ that last sense, and he had to do it right there, in the middle of the dance floor.

And as he stopped her mid-dance and dropped her into a deep dip, Castle knew that she realized what he was about to do. The terrified look in her eyes registered half a second before he leaned down, his lips on hers as several hundred sets of eyes turned back in unison to watch them. Almost all conversation in the room stopped as Kate went limp in his arms. Flashbulbs from photographers began to go, casting them in a quasi-flickering glow until a moment later, Castle broke the kiss and pulled his date up from the dip. He steadied her as she took an unsteady step back from him, her eyes betraying such a range of emotions he was not sure how to respond.

But before he could say or do anything, she stepped forward and kissed him again. Her initiation took him by surprise and almost bowled him over as she pushed herself into him. And there they stood for several moments, making out like teenagers on the dance floor in front of a room full of startled people.


	27. In Bed

A/N: Wow, thanks for all the great responses! I really appreciate the reviews.

* * *

**Chapter 27: In Bed**

Kate's head hurt, the kind of foggy dizziness one got from having drunk a little too much champagne the night before. Her mouth was dry and her limbs heavy, although... no, her left arm was actually heavy, as though it were weighed down by something.

Peeking her eyes open, Kate spied a disturbingly familiar sight. Castle was lying next to her in bed in a dimply lit room, her arm under his neck. Immediately, panic shot through her as Kate attempted to sit up.

"Castle," she said automatically.

Just as he murmured sleepily, "Don't get up; stay in bed," Kate recognized that they were not handcuffed together in a dingy basement. Rather, they were safely in her bedroom, the only thing holding them together being the weight of his head and their unconscious desire not to be parted, even in sleep.

He must have heard her sigh of relief or felt her body hit the mattress next to him as she collapsed back onto the bed. Her free hand went to her chest as she struggled to slow her racing heartbeat.

"Kate?" Castle said, releasing her trapped arm as he rolled closer to check on her.

"I'm okay," she assured him.

Frowning, he asked, "Bad dream?"

"No, I just... deja vu. That's all."

"Want to talk about it?"

What was there to talk about? For half a moment, she thought they might be drugged, trapped back in that dungeon, handcuffed together, with a tiger on the other side of the wall. But they weren't. They were perfectly fine.

"No," Kate said before reassuring him, "I'm okay."

To emphasize the point, she burrowed closer to him under the covers before turning to let him wrap his arms around her, spooning her from behind.

"How was last night?" he questioned.

Kate smiled to herself as she pictured their evening both before and after the party. "Last night was amazing," she told him.

He chuckled. "That's not - I mean, that's good, but - I meant how did you like the party?"

Biting her lip as she considered how best to answer, Kate schooled her voice to neutrality. "I liked it okay," she ventured finally.

She did not mind the party itself so much. Being the center of attention, however, had proved daunting. So many people staring at her, taking pictures as they asked probing questions. One woman gave her a dirty look as she entered the restroom. At one point when Castle was retrieving glasses of champagne for them, a man Kate did not know propositioned her. Having finally endured enough, she gave him a scathing rebuke only to find out later from Castle that he was a high-level executive at Black Pawn.

For half an hour she worried that she had seriously hurt Castle's career only to learn from Gina that the executive thought she had 'spunk' and that Castle really ought to 'reel her in.'

By the time they left the party, Kate had numbed herself with a few too many glasses of bubbly. She was not falling down drunk, but Castle did take it upon himself to steady her on the way to the limo. By the time they arrived back at her apartment, giddiness had taken hold of her and she divested him of all his clothing in the foyer before leading him to her bedroom. Totally worth enduring the party and the morning's hangover.

"I know it wasn't really your thing, but thank you for going anyway," he said, sounding genuinely grateful.

"Of course."

They dozed like that for a while, neither having any pressing desire to get out of such a warm, comfortable bed. But as she lay there, Kate found herself thinking of the parts of the evening she enjoyed.

The kisses on the dance floor, she decided immediately. Not only was it romantic and sexy, but it answered any lingering doubts anyone in the room might have had as to the nature of their relationship. And try as she did, Kate could not bring herself to feel embarrassed by the public display of affection.

The other things she enjoyed about the evening... the dress Castle had picked for her and the way she felt when she moved in it. She loved the way he could not keep his eyes off of her all night, not to mention his hands...

She had a good time watching Castle, from the way he looked so handsome and at-ease in his tuxedo to the carefree manner in which he told jokes and stories to people he'd barely met. The man had a way of charming everyone - men and women alike - with nothing more than a few well chosen words.

But even beyond demonstrating his excellent conversational skills, Castle had found a way to bring her into every discussion. He prompted her to share funny, innocuous stories and to respond to his teasing observations. She was not just a guest in his world but an active participant.

"I had fun being with you," Kate told him quietly, not sure if he was even still awake. But his arm pulled her more tightly against him as he hummed lazily into her ear.

"I'm the life of the party," he responded. "That's my job."

"You're good at it."

"Took lots of practice. No one ever told me when I was first started writing that I'd have to learn to be funny and personable."

Kate smiled as she said, "And here I thought it was all natural talent."

"Some talents are learned," he responded as he pressed a kiss go the back of her neck.

"Mmm..." Kate sighed. "Well why don't you demonstrate your talent for making coffee and bring me some?"

She felt his muscles tense at the suggestion of him leaving the bed. "Why do you need coffee?" he argued.

"Need to get up. Get dressed. Go out. Do stuff."

With each statement, he pulled her just a little closer to him, highlighting what he was about to say. "You should stay right here."

"Castle, we can't stay in bed all day," Kate protested.

"Why not?"

Okay, so he sort of had a point there. She didn't have a job and his was flexible enough to allow for an entire day spent in complete idleness. But there were other considerations.

"You're supposed to drive back to the Hamptons today. Alexis is expecting you."

"She and my mother are going out shopping today," Castle responded. "They won't be expecting be back until tonight."

Curses, foiled again. Trying a different tactic, Kate said, "Well what if I have plans today? Did you think about that?"

"Do you have plans?"

She rolled her eyes before remembering that from his position behind her, he could not see the gesture. "No," she admitted. "But that's not the point."

"The point is that you _could_ have plans," he surmised.

"Exactly."

"But you do have plans," Castle informed her.

"I do?"

"You do. Your plans are to spend the day in bed with me."

Kate laughed at his circular logic before she requested, "Can these plans include a cup of coffee?"

"Is the coffee pot in bed with us?" he asked rhetorically. When she refused to answer that obviously, the coffee pot was in the kitchen, he said, "Then no."

"Eventually we will need to eat," she pointed out.

Castle made a snorting sound as he shifted against her. "Don't be so negative."

"Not negative. Just realistic."

"No room for realism in here," he responded.

"Really?" Kate questioned, turning to look over her shoulder at him. "I would have thought that you'd be a fan of reality by now."

"I like my reality," Castle answered. "You're the one trying to talk me into letting you escape."

Chuckling, she said, "Not escape, Castle. Just go get coffee."

"Coffee is the death of spending the day in bed."

"It is not."

"Oh, yes it is."

"I can drink coffee in bed," she informed him.

"Yes, but you have to be sitting up," Castle argued. "Or you spill it and have to go to the bathroom to wash the spilled coffee out of your clothes."

"I won't spill it."

Undeterred, he continued, "But if you don't spill it and drink it all, then in about... half an hour, you'll have to go to the bathroom."

Impossible to argue with that one. "I'll come right back to bed, I promise."

"No, you won't. You'll take a shower. And then you'll get dressed. And then there will be no more staying in bed." Laying his head on the pillow as he closed his eyes, Castle said with finality, "So no coffee."

"So we're just going to lie in bed until we fall back asleep?" Kate asked. She was not entirely against the idea of staying in bed all day. She just knew that there were plenty of things to do, things both of them should be doing.

Figuring out a new career was at the top of Kate's list, but every time she thought about it, she wanted to barricade the door to her apartment and never leave. She had a whole list of hobbies she wanted to pursue, but she worried about beginning anything new while her future was so up in the air. And then, there was Castle.

Kate knew she shouldn't want to spend every minute with him. She knew he needed to spend the rest of the summer with his daughter, doing the kind of things that Alexis would always regret not doing if they did not get to them. Kate understood this truth from personal experience, having lost her mother when she was still in college. There were so many things she wished she could go back and do with her mom just one more time... and she would not rob Castle and his daughter of that opportunity.

But today was a perfect opportunity to have her cake and eat it too. Castle wasn't expected back in the Hamptons until later that evening, meaning she had him all to herself for the morning and afternoon.

And they were going to waste that time in bed... just sleeping?

"That's the plan," Castle informed her. "Unless you have something else in mind?"

The first thing that came to her was sex, but to be honest, she was exhausted from the night before. So was Castle, she could tell. Besides, their relationship involved more than just sex, right? The physical intimacy they shared by sleeping in a bed together, wrapped up in each other's arms, was far more special than a steamy, sexy, slightly drunken night of passion.

"No, we can sleep," Kate allowed. She only wished she could convince her mind to stop being so restless, thinking about her morning run or that half-finished book on her living room coffee table. She needed to go grocery shopping and pay the electric bill which had come in the mail the day before. Her dad was expecting her to call at some point to set up a date for them to have dinner. She was woefully behind in calling back friends who had left messages on her voicemail after seeing the picture of her and Castle in the paper.

Biting her lip, Kate wondered how long it would take for Castle to fall asleep so she could crawl out of bed and sneak a cup of coffee. It would only take a few minutes. She would be back before he even realized she was gone.

Just as she thought he had finally dropped off, she tensed her muscles to move. Surprising her, Castle spoke in a completely awake tone, "You aren't very good at this, are you?"

"What?"

Sneaking out of bed? She was actually a bit of a pro when it came to that maneuver. While she had only used it on one or two one-night-stands, her past boyfriends had rarely appreciated being woken up at all hours of the night for a body drop.

"Staying in bed all day."

"I'm really not," Kate admitted.

"That's okay. We'll work on it."

She asked hopefully, "Does that mean I can have coffee now?"

He sighed, deeply, before letting go of her and releasing his arms. Instantly, her skin felt cold without his warmth. "Go get your coffee," he told her.

She hurried to the kitchen and automatically began working through the steps to prep the coffee maker. While it was brewing, she got on her computer and paid the utility bill before sending a quick email to her dad suggesting they have dinner the following evening. Once the pot was finished, she quickly fixed herself a cup before grabbing her book off the coffee table and making her way back into the bedroom. She took careful sips of the hot substance every few feet.

Castle hadn't moved from his spot in the middle of the mattress. Setting her treasures on the bedside table, she crawled back in next to him. While she sat propped up in the bed, he moved towards her, letting his head settle against her stomach as his arms wrapped around her lower body. He said nothing else but let out a noise of contentment as he fell back asleep.

Smiling at the sight of him, Kate took another sip of coffee before picking up her book from the table. The light in the bedroom was dim, but just bright enough for her to read the words on the page.

And so, for the rest of the morning, they stayed in bed. Together.


	28. Worth It

**Chapter 28: Worth It**

Naturally, there were photos on page six of the New York Post. There were also pictures in smaller papers and magazines that Kate had never even heard of, but after taking one look at her, the guy at the news stand loaded her up with copies of everything he could find. The internet was also ripe with photographic evidence of the two of them as a couple.

Kate now had pictures of herself and Castle from the Black Pawn preview party from every conceivable angle. And despite how scary it had been that first time they published a picture of the two of them kissing just a few weeks before, strangely, these did not bother her. Even the one that some creative editor had photoshopped to show a 'baby bump' did not make her truly angry, just annoyed at the intrusion into her private life.

But like Martha had said - being with Rick Castle meant being in the public eye. There was no escaping it.

And when she pondered whether it was worth all the hassle by the media, all the probing questions and paparazzi-like photographs, she did not even think twice before answering herself. To be with Castle, it was totally worth it.

"That's a lot of pictures," her father remarked.

He had come over to take her out to dinner. Kate felt bad that they had not spent more time together over the summer, but as he pointed out, she had been thoroughly engaged elsewhere. With a remark about how he had fallen off the face of the earth for a time when he and Kate's mother first got together, Jim Beckett absolved her of any guilt.

"You're young and in love. It's only natural to forget the existence of everyone else on the planet. As you seem to have done in this photo..."

Pointing to a shot of the two of them on the dance floor kissing, he raised a knowing eyebrow.

"That wasn't my idea," she grumbled, gathering up the papers and stacking them on top of each other.

"That's not what I read in the paper," her father shot back.

Okay, true, she had kissed Castle the second time. But it was not her idea for the writer to dip her in the middle of the dance floor and kiss her in front of the entire room.

Kate bit her bottom lip to keep from smiling as she remembered that moment. Despite all the press and pictures published of them, it had totally been worth it. And she could tell by her father's amused expression that he knew she felt that way, that her indignation at the photos and prying questions were just a ruse. It was actually kind of a relief to have it out there and get all the public excitement over with.

"I'm glad to see you having a good time," her dad told her. Crossing his arms across his chest, he inquired, "Now tell me again... if Rick is in the Hamptons, why are you here and not there?"

"I already explained. Castle needs to spend time with his daughter this summer. It's her-"

"-last summer before college," he said with her, mechanically, repeating the phrase she had already given him once before that evening. "So did she ask you to leave?"

"No, of course not."

Alexis had never said as much, never even implied it. But after the weekend with Lanie and Esposito, the teenager just looked so... left out. She hated to see Alexis feel rejected or ignored. And Kate did not want her to view this burgeoning new romance with her father as a drain on the girl's own relationship with him.

"How is Rick taking the separation?"

"He's fine. He calls me every day," she said. As well, Kate usually received a text message from him every few hours. Sometimes long missives over how much he missed her. Sometimes short updates on his activities with Alexis. Sometimes just accidental pocket dials because she was the last one he had texted.

Her father looked at her very seriously. "And you're happy?"

"Yes, Dad, I'm happy..."

She was. She really was. But she was also... Kate did not even know how to describe it. Not worried, really. Not uncertain or afraid. Maybe 'anxious' was the best word? Too bad Castle wasn't there - he would know the perfect word to clarify how she was feeling. Unfortunately, as he was the source of the emotion, she could not use him as her human thesaurus.

One look at her and her dad prompted, "...but?"

This conversation should be happening with her therapist, not with her father. But Kate already knew all the questions Doctor Burke would ask her. Besides, maybe getting her dad's perspective would provide some insight.

Pausing momentarily, Kate quickly just plunged into it before she could stop herself. "How did you know, with mom, that she was it for you?"

After considering her question for a moment, he sort of shrugged. "I just knew, Katie. Are you not sure if Rick is the one? Because that's not something you have to know right now…"

"That's just it. I think I am sure. And it seems like I shouldn't feel that way yet, that it shouldn't feel so _right_. We've only been together for three months. Less than that. Two and a half."

She used to know it down to the day and hour. When had that stopped?

Her father nodded with a knowing smile. "You're worried about getting your heart broken."

He didn't have to say it, but Kate knew what he was implying. She'd had her heart broken by men before, but never had she felt so strongly about a person as she did about Castle.

Finally, she admitted, "I'm terrified. If this doesn't work out... I don't know what I would do. I think I would completely fall apart, Dad."

She had to be honest with herself - his two divorces worried her. Not that, having met both his former wives, she really blamed him for those relationships not working out, but the fact was that he had married them. For whatever reasons, whatever motives, he had stood in front of each of those women and promised to love them forever.

And even more than Meredith and Gina, his relationship with Sophia Turner scared her to death. His former muse. Granted, she was a Soviet spy and a traitor to her country, so every word out of her mouth was suspect. But Kate knew that Castle had shadowed her for a year. And they'd slept together. What if Kate was just his current Sophia Turner?

What if she and Castle did get married and two or three years down the line, it just fizzled out? What if he found a different muse? What if, now that she had resigned from the NYPD, he no longer found her as interesting or attractive? As muse-worthy?

"Welcome to being in love, Katie."

Her father smiled at her with the expression of a weathered veteran of the emotion. But the certainty in his eyes as he spoke made Kate realize something she hadn't really considered before.

She was worried about how Castle felt, about how he would feel in the future. With her past relationships, she had rarely considered such things. Instead, Kate always found herself second guessing whether she wanted to be in the relationship, whether she could see herself with this other person forever. She rarely considered whether the man she was with really loved her, but rather, if she really loved him.

She wasn't questioning that with Castle. Not at all.

"I guess I am in love," she admitted, as much to herself as to her dad. She probably looked both a little giddy and frightened by the revelation.

And he laughed at her. Her own father actually laughed at her.

"You two are going to be fine, Katie," Jim assured her.

Her eyebrows crinkled at him in confusion. "How do you know?" she asked.

"Well, I was never in doubt about how Rick felt about you," he admitted. "I was always more worried about how you felt about him. And you seem to have figured that out."

Wow. Even her dad was convinced of Castle's feelings about her. So why did she still have that underlying anxiety?

Perhaps it was because their 'honeymoon period' of blissfully enjoying a new relationship was quickly coming to an end. The amazing feeling of finally being with someone you'd known and considered romantically for four years was no longer so new and exciting. And while Kate knew that Castle was enamored with her sexy, mysterious side, she wondered if he would get tired of her periodic crankiness and emotional unavailability.

Not to mention the fact that she was still unemployed and completely unsure what to do with the rest of her life. Luckily, that was one subject her dad had left alone.

"So, any new job prospects?" he asked casually.

Until now.

Kate shrugged her shoulders, but then shook her head.

He followed up with, "Thought any more about going back?"

Why did everyone keep asking her that? Of course she thought about going back to her old job. Every morning she woke up and fought against that initial surge of panic that she was late for work. As she fixed herself coffee, she wondered what case Ryan might be working on, what the clues were and the potential motives of the killer.

But then, Kate thought about having to inform the family of their loved one's untimely death, assuring them the NYPD would do everything possible to find the person responsible. She remembered the cases they never solved, the family members who were still out there waiting, years later, for a resolution that would probably always be denied to them.

"Been thinking about it," she acknowledged to her dad, keeping her voice neutral. "Haven't made any decisions."

"Are you worried that if you go back, you'll get pulled back into her case again?"

There was no question of the 'her' he was referring to, or the fact that he knew his daughter just a little too well sometimes. She had already told him the bare minimum about her run-in with Cole Maddox and the incident on the roof, but Jim Beckett could read between the lines. But there was one thing he did not know.

"If I go back to the case, I'll lose Castle," Kate said. She did not want to tell him about the argument at her apartment that day, the beautiful, heartfelt, and heartbreaking words Castle had spoken to try and get her to drop the investigation. She did not want to explain how he walked out when she refused to back down.

"Sounds like extra incentive to leave it alone," her dad noted with deliberate casualness.

She knew how he felt about the case. He'd already lost his wife to this conspiracy they once thought was a random act of violence. He had almost lost himself to it. The last thing he wanted was to lose his daughter as well.

But at least that was one assurance Kate could give him. "I have no intention of continuing the investigation."

That realization came to her as she hung off the side of a building, her fingers quickly losing their grip on the concrete ledge as she called out for the one person she needed to save her. While Kate desperately wanted justice for her mother, even more than that, she wanted to live. And she wanted to be with Castle.

"Your mother would be very proud of you," her father said. "She always was, you know."

"Even during my wild teenage years?" Kate questioned skeptically.

"Especially then," he affirmed. "You always had to figure things out for yourself."

"I always thought I drove her crazy."

Jim Beckett laughed. "Oh, you did. But she was still proud of you."

Her father's words were not new to her - she'd heard them from him many times over the years. But in light of her recent decision to give up the investigation... it was good to hear them again. Knowing her mother was proud of her, despite those difficult years, helped with the guilt. It didn't completely erase that gnawing feeling in the pit of her stomach that her mom's killer was getting away. But it helped.

"So, you ready for dinner?" her dad asked.

"Yes," Kate said, glad to be moving away from such serious topics. And as she grabbed her purse to head out with him, she took one last look at the stack of newspapers on her table.

She was definitely keeping all of them.

As she locked her apartment door behind them, her cell phone sounded – a text message from Castle. Giving it a quick glance as they walked to the elevator, Kate smiled.

"And what does Rick have to say?" her father asked knowingly.

With a smirk of amusement, Kate shared, "He just says to tell you 'Hello' and to ask that you not keep me out too late."

Her dad chuckled as she stowed her phone in her purse.

"You two talk on the phone every night?"

"Not _every_ night."

Shaking his head as they stepped into the elevator, he pronounced with hard-earned patriarchal wisdom, "Yeah, you two are going to be fine."


	29. When Castle Met Beckett

**A/N: **Serious spoilers for the movie _When Harry Met Sally_.

Thanks for all the reviews. I am just blown away by all the positive feedback. This chapter just kind of came came out while I was writing. Let me know what you think.

For clarity, italics are the other end of a phone conversation.

* * *

**Chapter 29: When Castle Met Beckett**

Castle was bored.

For a man with a teenage daughter, an actress mother, an unemployed girlfriend, and plenty of money to do anything he wanted with any of the before-mentioned women, there really was no excuse for boredom. Even on those rare circumstances when fate and bad luck conspired to leave him to his own devices, he had an excellent imagination. It was a best-selling imagination, actually, the kind millions of people took home from the book store every day.

And yet, he was still bored.

Alexis was out, having made plans with that boy she'd met on the beach and spent the 4th of July with. While she assured him that they were just friends and that it was not a date, Castle had a sneaking suspicion that there was a summer romance brewing.

Not that he could blame her for leaving for the evening - they had spent the entire day together out on the water charter fishing. It had been his daughter's idea as something they had always discussed but never actually done. They'd had a good time, actually, although they caught more salt water than fish. And when the boat pulled into the harbor late in the afternoon, they both agreed it should be a one-time experience.

His mother was out again. Castle was never really sure where she disappeared to all the time - friends and old colleagues, parties, poetry readings, wine tastings, gallery openings... He suspected that they saw more of her in the city than during the summer.

And Kate... Kate was back in New York having refused to return with him to the beach house after the publishing party. Even when he had relayed to her what Alexis had said, that it was okay with the teenager if Kate stayed with them, still, she refused.

Thus, he was all alone in the beach house for the evening. And bored.

He tried writing but was lacking inspiration. He thought about watching television or playing a video game, but what he really craved was some human interaction.

Finally, giving in to the urge which had plagued him since Alexis left on her not-a-date, Castle pulled out his cell phone.

Picking up after two rings, Kate answered, _"Bored already, Castle?"_

He sighed dramatically. "You have no idea."

_"Where's Alexis?"_

"She's out with a boy on what she insists is not-a-date," he stated.

_"The boy she met on the beach?"_

"That's the one."

_"Yeah, that's a date,"_ Kate said. _"She probably just didn't want you to freak out."_

"Me, freak out?" he said, just to hear her laugh through the phone. "I would never do that."

_"So you there all by yourself tonight?"_

"Sadly, yes," Castle lamented. "Of course, if you were here, we could have our own date night."

There was a pause before she answered. _"You know why I didn't go back with you."_

He grumbled, "Doesn't mean I have to like it."

_"You know what they say about absence, right Castle?"_

"It drives me absolutely crazy?"

_"Absence makes the heart grow fonder."_

"See, I always thought it was 'absence makes the heart grow taller' and I didn't have a clue what that meant."

As he listened to her chuckle, he desperately wished she was there with him and not miles away. He wanted to watch her lips curve into a broad smile as the edges of her eyes crinkled. He wanted to pull her close to him and listen to the steady thump of her heartbeat.

Unfortunately, he had to content himself with a phone call. Deciding to make the most of it, he asked, "So what did you do today?"

_"You mean besides dodging all the people who saw our picture on page six?"_

"Yeah... sorry about that."

Except, not really. The pictures of them from the Black Pawn preview party were pretty good. Not only did Kate look gorgeous, but they'd gotten Castle's best sides as well. Rumors were already circulating through the internet gossip pages about the two of them. Some had them secretly engaged. Others photoshopped pictures of Kate's flat stomach to make it look like there was a 'baby bump.' And still others simply delighted in the real romance of their story - writer meets cop. Cop becomes muse. After four torturous years of shadowing her, writer and muse end up together. Tale as old as time.

"So what else did you do today?" he followed up when Kate made no further comments on the page six photos.

He listened intently as she told him about her activities, resisting the urge to advise her to be careful when running in the park or to ask too many questions about her dinner with her dad. Instead, he just let her talk, interjecting simple comments or queries periodically to keep her going. Generally, he was more of a talker than Kate, especially on the phone, but on this night, he really just wanted to hear her voice.

When she finished telling him about her day, he followed up with, "So what are you doing now?"

_"I was watching a movie when you called."_

"Am I interrupting?" Castle asked, even though he did not particularly care if he was interrupting.

_"No, I've seen it a hundred times,"_ she said dismissively. He could hear the low tones of the television set in the background.

"Which movie?"

It was a romantic comedy, one he vaguely remembered sitting through with Alexis years earlier. But the way Kate described it made him honestly curious.

_"It's about these two people, a man and a woman, who keep randomly meeting and eventually become friends. And after being friends for years, they end up sleeping together-"_

"Wow, that doesn't sound familiar at all," he commented.

_"And then it's weird between them, and they have to figure it out."_

"What channel is it on?" he asked, picking up his remote. As she gave him the station, he turned on his television and flipped through until he found it.

"Billy Crystal," he said approvingly upon seeing the actor playing the leading man. "He was great as Miracle Max. Did you ever watch-"

_"The Princess Bride?"_ Kate interrupted. Incredulous, she responded, _"I'm not going to even dignify that with a response, Castle. And if you're going to watch the movie, watch the movie."_

Doing as instructed, Castle focused on the characters on the screen for several moments. They were on a plane arguing about whether men and women could really be just friends.

"What do you think?" he asked Kate. "Can men and women just be friends?"

_"Absolutely,"_ she said. _"I'm just friends with Espo. And Ryan. You're just friends with Lanie."_

"Yeah, but that doesn't count. We're more like... a family."

_"A family, huh?"_ she responded. _"Well what about us, Castle? You and I were just friends up until a couple of months ago."_

Nodding to himself as he held the phone to his ear, he answered, "Yes, and thank God we finally remedied that."

As the movie progressed, they continued to banter back and forth, sometimes related to what was happening on the screen and sometimes not. When they got to the part with Meg Ryan's character faking an orgasm in the sandwich shop, Castle nearly dropped the phone. This movie was suddenly making him very uncomfortable.

"Is that true?" he asked. "Do women really do that?"

Intellectually, he knew the answer. But he wanted Kate's perspective.

_"I can't speak for all women, Castle,"_ she said, clearly amused at his distress on the subject.

"You can speak for yourself, can't you?"

Again, she paused before speaking, and he wondered if perhaps this wasn't the best conversation to be having by phone. He couldn't see her face, couldn't tell if she was just teasing him or being serious.

Finally, Kate spoke, putting him out of his misery. _"Castle, all I'm going to say is that I have never done that with you. Never needed to fake anything."_

She sounded so convincing, and yet, doubt still reared in the back of his mind. He did not consider himself to be a self conscious man who needed reassurance. In fact, he was quite confident in his performance in that area. But there was always room for improvement - specific tweaks to be made depending on the… audience.

One thing did make him curious, though.

"Can you do that thing she did?" he asked.

_"Can I do what?"_ Kate asked. _"You mean fake it in the middle of a restaurant?"_

Okay, for as uncomfortable as the entire concept made him initially, the way she pronounced the words made the conversation much more sexy. Not to mention the thought of her portraying the role of Meg Ryan in that particular scene...

"Um... yeah."

She sounded even more amused as she asked rhetorically, _"You want me to go out and call you back from a coffee shop to demonstrate, Castle?"_

Deadpan, he responded, "Would you? Please?"

Why, oh why, did she have to be so far away? He was half tempted to drive back to the city to see her based on this telephone call alone. As she laughed at him, he added, "You don't even need to go out. Stay in the comfort of your own apartment."

_"Then how would you know if I was really faking?"_ she asked.

This woman was going to kill him.

"That's it," he said decisively, standing up from the couch. "I'm driving down there right now."

_"No, you're not, Castle. Sit down and watch the rest of this movie with me."_

Pouting despite the fact that she could not see him, he sat back down on the couch.

"Are there more scenes like that?" he asked, a little nervous of the answer.

_"No, that's the only one,"_ Kate assured him.

Castle settled into the couch and turned his attention to the movie. Periodically, he would ask a question to clarify some part he had missed and she would patiently explain. Sometimes he asked things he already knew the answer to just to have her voice in his ear along with that quiet little sigh of exasperation she sometimes made.

By the time they got to the scene with the characters talking on the phone while watching Casablanca, Castle commented, "Okay, I'm starting to see some similarities between us and them now."

_"Just don't start moaning,"_ she adviced.

"What?"

Just as he asked the question, Billy Crystal began moaning on the television screen. And definitely not a sexy moan, either. Not that Castle would consider any moan from Billy Crystal to be sexy, but still.

"This is a strange movie," he observed.

But as the movie continued, he began getting into it more and more. He kind of identified with Billy Crystal's character, who was getting over the betrayal of his ex-wife even as he became better and better friends with Meg Ryan's character. Of course, the movie had Carrie Fisher in it, and any movie with Princess Leia had to be kind of awesome.

When they got to the part where the title characters inevitably ended up sleeping together (and he knew they would because seriously, men and women just cannot be friends when they find each other attractive), Castle began to grow uncomfortable again at the awkward 'morning after.'

"Glad it wasn't like that for us," he commented, reminded of how happy he was while he made her breakfast and how he brought it to her in bed on a tray the next morning. He may have even been whistling. She didn't try to sneak out in the middle of the night or say that it was all a mistake or make up some story about an early squash game. Rather, she took one look at the tray of food, reached for the cup of coffee he'd poured her, and purred in delighted contentment.

_"We didn't just fall into bed together,"_ Kate pointed out. _"It was a lot more deliberate."_

Castle remembered very well. She showed up at his door, soaking wet, and as soon as he asked what she wanted, she breathed a heedy, "You" before kissing him. Then there had been words - apologies and hasty explanations before none of it mattered any more, to either of them.

"Well, you knew how I felt," he said. It wasn't an accusation, only a statement.

Kate responded similarly. _"And I was finally ready."_

"I'm very happy I was there when your wall came down." Even without the zombie makeup.

He could hear her smiling through the phone, her unable-to-hide-it grin, as she said, _"I'm happy you were, too. You did have me a little worried when you didn't answer your phone."_

Castle shrugged, realized she couldn't see the gesture over the phone, and replied, "I was being petulant."

_"You had a right to be angry."_

"It's all in the past," he pronounced. Turning his eyes to the television, he saw Billy Crystal making a fool of himself leaving messages on Meg Ryan's answering machine. He briefly wondered if Kate would have done that if he had refused to answer the door. But no, she wouldn't have, he knew. She probably would have just broken the door down.

Minutes passed as they both watched the movie. Castle cringed through some of the rest of it, understanding the characters' frustration. And then, there was the moment. He recognized it instantly, even through the script and the actors and the late 80's hair styles.

"He finally realized it," Castle said as he watched Billy Crystal run down the street, anxious to catch Meg Ryan at the New Year's Eve party.

Kate said nothing at first, just let him take in the rest as the man on screen professed his love. And then, he said something that resonated with Castle, possibly because Kate recited the line right along with Billy Crystal's character. _"I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."_

No longer caring about Meg Ryan's reaction or how the movie would end, Castle turned his full attention to the woman on the other end of the phone. _"That's how I felt that night," _Kate said quietly._ "Exactly like that."_

Castle was silent for several long moments as he digested the message and the deep emotions behind it. Finally, knowing he needed to lighten the mood, that this was a conversation easier to begin by phone but one that needed to be finished in person, he said, "You know, I think I like this movie after all."

_"It kind of grows on you,"_ Kate agreed.

"And it has Carrie Fisher," he added.

_"I thought you'd like that."_

As the credits began to play, Castle sighed, knowing he needed to let her get to sleep. But he hated to lose her company, even if it was only the sound of her voice. "So what's on next?" he asked, hoping for something with Bruce Willis.

Kate chuckled. _"Sleepless in Seattle. Looks like they're having a Meg Ryan marathon. You sure you're up for another romantic comedy, Castle?"_

"Is there another scene like the one in the sandwich shop?"

_"You mean the fake orgasm?"_ she laughed. _"No, Castle. Not in this movie."_

"Then on a commercial you can give me your version," he suggested, waggling his eyebrows even though she couldn't see him.

He was just as certain that she rolled her eyes at him as she responded, _"In your dreams, Castle."_

"Always."


	30. Blessing

**A/N**: Sorry it's been a while since I updated this story. RL got stacked up with vacation, illness, and writer's block.

* * *

**Chapter 30: Blessing**

"I think we should go back to the city."

Alexis made the statement nonchalantly, as though it had nothing at all to do with her horrible disaster of a date with the boy from the beach which she refused to tell her father about.

He raised an eyebrow at her. "Getting tired of fun and sun?" he questioned.

"Just ready to go home," she stated.

He nodded knowingly but said nothing else about her motives. She knew he had his own reasons for wanting to return to the city and wouldn't fight her on it.

Unfortunately, Gran decided to stay in the Hamptons, which Alexis knew made her father nervous even though the former actress hadn't had a huge open house party in years. And while he did not quite trust her, he also wanted to return to the city without delay. So in the end, the two of them packed up the car and left Gran with a stern warning not to do anything crazy.

"If I get one call from the neighbors..." he began. "Or from the police…"

"At least leave me the firefighters," she responded with a wink.

"_Mother_-"

"You have nothing to worry about," Gran told him before turning to give Alexis a hug goodbye. "I'll see you soon," she assured her granddaughter.

"Why do I get a bad feeling about leaving her here alone?" her dad asked as they climbed into the car and began making their way back to New York.

"She'll be fine," Alexis assured him with more conviction than she actually felt.

On the drive back, they discussed their plans for the rest of the summer, including all the things they wanted to do in the city. While Alexis talked about the museums they should visit and the Broadway shows she had always meant to go to but never got around to seeing.

"You know, with you going to Columbia, you'll still have the opportunity to go to these places," her dad pointed out. "But a segway tour through central park? When will we ever have time to do that when you're studying and sleeping under piles of books?"

"Really, Dad? Segways?"

"Or we could play Guitar Hero until we get a perfect score," he suggested.

Because it was her last summer at home before college, because her father was currently doing his best to focus so much attention on her, she did not roll her eyes. After all, this was her dad. Her goofy, crazy, extremely creative dad who had raised her almost entirely by himself. And she really hoped that his suggestions never started being level-headed or mature.

"That should definitely be a goal," she allowed.

His face lit up like Christmas decorations. "And the segways?" he asked.

Alexis smiled. "Only if I can wear a disguise so none of my friends recognize me."

"Too bad you threw out all those old Halloween costumes," he remarked.

* * *

As it turned out, Alexis did enjoy spending the day mastering Guitar Hero's most difficult song - not quite as bad as studying, but not exactly fun and easy either. That song was HARD, and it was so disappointing each time they came so close only to be a note off at the very end.

Through it all her dad was engaged with her, funny and exuberant as always, but there was just something... off. It wasn't obvious, and she doubted many other people would notice it. But this was her dad, effectively her only parent. If she wasn't looking out for him, who would?

And as soon as the rhetorical question crossed her mind, the answer came to her. Kate.

She really hadn't intended to banish the woman from their summer. All she really wanted was a little more time with her dad, especially this particular summer. But Alexis knew that not only were they pretty clearly in love, trying to keep her father separated from his girlfriend was only going to distress him.

That's when she realized why he seemed so... off. He was missing Kate. Of course he missed her, but… he _really _missed her. The two of them talked on the phone a lot, usually after her dad thought Alexis had gone to bed. But she could hear the low tones coming from downstairs or his office in the late night hours. And so, the day after they conquered Guitar Hero, she made a decision.

"I'm surprised we haven't seen Kate since we got back into the city," Alexis said the next morning as her dad cooked breakfast. The mention of the former detective's name immediately earned her his full attention. "Maybe you should invite her over for dinner."

Her dad stared at her for a moment, not blinking, before asking, "Really?"

Alexis shrugged. "Sure. I mean, she's your girlfriend, right? Why shouldn't she come over for dinner?"

He nodded slowly, thoughtfully, before agreeing. "She _is_ my girlfriend."

And yet, he was still watching her, as though he were trying to discern some sort of clue in her behavior. Why did this have to be so difficult? It wasn't like her dad needed her blessing to date Kate. Except...

Maybe he _wanted_ her blessing. Maybe they both did.

Making a command decision, Alexis reached over the counter to pick up his cell phone - he never kept it far away any more. "Here, I'll call her," she stated.

She had no trouble finding the woman's number - it was at the top of his most recent call list and most recent text message list. Selecting her number and pressing the "Call" button, Alexis waited as the phone rang.

Just as Kate answered with a breathy "Hey, Castle," Alexis realized that she probably should have called her from her own phone lest Kate answer with something intended for her dad.

Hoping to head off any such awkwardness, the teenager immediately identified herself. "Hey, Kate-" It was so difficult sometimes not to call her Detective Beckett, "This is Alexis."

"Alexis," the other woman said, sounding concerned. "Is everything okay?"

She realized immediately that Kate might think it was an emergency - Alexis calling rather than her father, using her father's phone. Quickly, she said, "Everything's fine. I just wanted to call and invite you over for dinner tonight. My dad and I are back in the city and he promised to make his famous chicken cacciatore."

Her father's eyebrows went up, as if to ask, 'I did?'

"That sounds wonderful," Kate responded.

"Seven o'clock?"

"I'll be there."

"Okay, see you then."

Her father watched her carefully as she ended the phone call. "You're making chicken cacciatore tonight," she informed him.

"So I heard."

"Why are you staring at me?" she asked.

"Because you just made a date with Kate."

"It's not a date. It's dinner. And I already told you that I like Kate."

Her father pointed out, "Dinner is a date and liking someone is different from actively inviting them over for chicken cacciatore."

Taking a different tact, Alexis stated, "Well, if you don't want her to come, I can call her back-"

"I didn't say that."

Flashing him a mischievous grin, she went on, "Then I guess you need to go grocery shopping."

* * *

Dinner went well despite her dad being on edge most of the evening and constantly casting her hesitant glances. At first Alexis found it amusing, but as the night wore on, she began to find his looks more and more annoying.

Kate seemed perfectly at ease, conversing with both of them about their activities since she had last seen them. She even asked Alexis about her date with the boy from the beach.

"Turns out he was kind of a jerk," Alexis said. With her father present, she had no interest in going into more detail, which Kate seemed to understand. Unfortunately, her dad did not.

"How was he a jerk?" he demanded. "Did he try… something?"

Before Alexis could speak, Kate stepped in. "She said he was a jerk. We don't need to know more than that unless she wants to tell us."

Her father frowned, but for once, he actually let the subject drop.

And suddenly, Alexis did want to talk about the situation. Not with her dad - that was kind of gross - but with a woman a little closer to her age than her grandmother. She had plenty of friends her own age, of course, and she knew she could always call her mother on the phone. But this was one of those things she really didn't want to talk over with her friends, and while she really loved her mom, she was the last source she would ever consult for dating advice.

Perhaps sensing Alexis' desire to talk, after dinner Kate said, "Hey Castle, why don't you go down to the store and pick us up some ice cream?"

"But we have ice cream in the freezer," he pointed out, frowning in consternation. "We even have strawberry, your favorite."

Hedging, Kate stated, "Tonight I feel like rocky road. Please?"

She cast him a look that Alexis recognized. It was Kate's version of 'pretty please with sugar on top.' Alexis had mastered her own variety of the look when she was five years old and it rarely failed to sway her father. Her dad glanced at her, then back at Kate with a look of confusion. Whether he understood the undercurrent or not, he finally acquiesced and headed for the door.

Once he was safely out of the loft, Kate turned back to Alexis. "Would you like to talk about it?" she asked, not even pretending that this conversation wasn't her intention all along.

Suddenly feeling rather silly, Alexis shrugged indifferently. "It's not a big deal," she began. "He didn't try anything. It wasn't like that."

"But he said something to you," Kate surmised.

"Yeah. I didn't want to mention it in front of Dad because, well..."

She wasn't worried he would misunderstand, not really. She just wasn't sure his advice was what she needed.

"It's okay," the older woman told her. "After my mom died, one of the things I missed the most was having someone - a woman - I could talk to."

With a sigh, Alexis gave her a brief run-down of her evening with the boy. His name was Jon and he was a junior at NYU. They'd gone out to dinner at a nice restaurant - their first date alone after the 4th of July party where she'd met some of his friends. At first the date had gone well. They seemed to have similar tastes in music and books. Jon was interested in political science and completely fascinated with Alexis' internship at the medical examiner's office.

But then after dinner, they decided to take a walk on the beach. It was at that point the evening began to go south.

"He started asking me all these questions about my prior boyfriends and my 'experience' level. Had I done this or that, what was I willing to do?" she described. "It just kind of weirded me out."

"What did you say to him?" Kate asked. The way she spoke, the question sounded more like it was coming from a friend than some sort of parental figure.

"I said that maybe we should just see how things go. And I didn't think he needed to know all those personal details about me on our first date."

Nodding, the older woman prompted, "And what happened then?"

"Then he started acting really rude. He kept saying things about me being a tease and leading him on and that he just wanted to get the ground rules straight." Kate said nothing as she took in this information, just allowing Alexis to talk. "And I was feeling really uncomfortable, so I asked him to bring me home. And he did. I haven't talked to him since."

And there it was. Her horrible date, the one which had left her feeling so uncomfortable that she gladly enticed her father to bring them both back to the city.

"And now you're wondering if you over-reacted?" Kate asked knowingly, breaking the silence.

Alexis nodded. Exactly.

"Well, you just said you were uncomfortable. No one had a right to make you feel uncomfortable and then try to make you feel bad about it," Kate told her. "And those were pretty personal questions for a first date."

The older woman's assessment confirmed Alexis' own thoughts on the subject. She liked how Kate did not immediately try to defend her or abuse Jon. Instead, she simply gave a well reasoned opinion.

"He was just acting like he was this sophisticated college student and I was a naive high schooler for not wanting to talk about stuff like that so soon."

"Sounds like he was just a jerk," Kate assessed. "But tell me this - did you like him?"

With a shrug, Alexis answered, "He was cute."

Seeing through her answer, Kate pursued, "But did you like him?"

Thinking back to their conversation over dinner, comparing all the things they liked and agreed on, Alexis was reminded of little details - like how he spoke disparagingly about one of her favorite writers, but then changed his attitude when he found out her opinion. Or how he'd tried to order for her without asking her first. Or the measly tip he left the friendly, hard-working waitress.

"You know, I thought I did, but now that I think about it... all the things I liked about him seemed like stuff he just said or did to impress me. The things which really seemed like him, I didn't like."

With a half shrug, Kate stated, "Then good riddance. He didn't sound like a nice guy anyway."

Biting her lip, Alexis ventured quietly, "So you don't think I was leading him on?"

The former detective gave her a decisive shake of the head. "Absolutely not. Alexis, you are never under any obligation to do anything with anyone that you don't want to. Anyone who tells you otherwise is trying to manipulate you. That was true in high school and it is still true in college. And it will continue to be true after college."

Her words made Alexis feel a little bit better about the awkward situation. While she intellectually already knew everything Kate had said, hearing it from another source, one who had likely gone through similar situations, was... validating.

"And just a little piece of personal advice," Kate added. "If a guy makes you feel uncomfortable or 'weirded out,' even if you can't quite say why, it is perfectly okay not to go out with him or to end the date early. Sometimes your instincts pick up on things that your brain just doesn't process."

"You sound like you have some experience with jerks like that," Alexis commented.

Pausing for a moment to choose her words, Kate responded, "Let's just say I've met a lot of jerks and been on a lot of bad dates."

From the way she spoke, Alexis doubted that she would ever be privy to any of those stories. But Kate surprised her.

"There was this one time, I went out with a guy in college. He was in my Intro to Law class. By the way, never date someone you have class with. If things don't work out, it can be really weird the rest of the semester. But he asked me out for his 'friend.' And I thought he was being coy, pretending like there was someone else. But he actually did set me up with his friend, this other guy from class who was nice but so nervous that he acted like Koothrappali from _The Big Bang Theory_..."

By the time Alexis' dad returned with ice cream, they were sitting on the couch laughing together over some of Kate's stories. But they immediately ended the conversation as soon as he entered the loft.

"What are you two talking about?" he asked suspiciously.

"Nothing," Alexis told him. And before he could pursue the question with another question, she offered, "I think Kate should go with us on our segway tour of the park tomorrow."

"Yeah?" he confirmed, just as Kate began to protest, "Oh, I don't want to intrude-"

"No, you should come," Alexis told her. "I insist."

And just like that, the difference she had seen in her father since Kate had left the Hamptons was gone. His shoulders relaxed. He stopped staring at her so intently. And when he looked at Kate, he no longer tried to hide the stars in his eyes.

"Okay, then," he said.

After they finished their ice cream, while Kate and her dad sat down on the couch to start up a movie, Alexis decided to excuse herself. She wanted to get some reading done, she told them, but as she did so, she made it very clear that she was giving them some time alone.

And that even if they didn't need it, they had her blessing.


	31. Da

**A/N:** While most of this story isn't anchored to any specific outside events, this chapter dates it to a couple of weeks ago.

I appreciate the reviews and feedback.

* * *

**Chapter 31: Da**

"I'm glad you're back," Kate whispered in the dark. After the movie, Castle convinced her to stay the night due to the late hour. While he insisted that it had nothing to do with the fact that he hadn't seen her for a while, it had everything to do with their separation. He needed to have her close.

"Me too," he answered. "And I'm glad you're coming with us on our little adventure tomorrow."

While Castle could not see her smile, he could hear it in her voice. "I guess Alexis is okay with me being around after all."

"I told you so."

"Castle, you're not supposed to say 'I told you so.'"

"Why not?" he asked coyly.

"Because it isn't nice."

"But it's true. I did tell you. And you doubted me. That'll teach you to doubt me." She was quiet for a moment and he wished that his bedroom was not so dark as to keep him from seeing her face. "Are you rolling your eyes at me?" he asked finally.

"Yep."

"That's not nice, either."

"It's not that I doubted you, Castle. I just..."

He waited, listening for her explanation. But after she did not speak for a few moments, he prompted, "Just what?"

She paused before speaking. "I'm trying," she said, and he understood what she wasn't saying.

A relationship with him was not uncomplicated by other factors. Not only did he have fame and fortune to contend with - and a slightly crazy mother - but Alexis truly was his world. As much baggage as Kate herself might bring to the table, he had plenty of his own as well.

Not that he considered Alexis baggage, but Kate obviously knew that she weighed heavily in the matrix of Castle's life and intended to treat her accordingly.

"I know," he told her, reaching across the expanse of his bed to touch her. His questing fingers encountered her cheek, a lock of hair. They were both tired and he really had no intention of starting anything, but he could not resist the urge to kiss her. And touch her.

But as he did so, he could sense tension in the air. "What?" Castle asked.

"Are you sure this is okay? Us under the same roof as Alexis?"

"She invited you over," he pointed out.

"For dinner."

"And she's a grown woman, now."

Ugh, did he just say that out loud? He'd been hiding from the fact that Alexis was eighteen years old, graduated from high school, and ready for college. Well, not hiding from reality, necessarily, but avoiding it. A little. As much as he could.

"This is still her home," Kate stated. The concern in her voice was admirable, really, but Castle considered it unnecessary. Alexis had already given them her blessing, had accepted Kate in whatever role she might play within their family structure. Besides-

"It's my home, too."

And with that, he silenced any further worries or protests and made love to her in the dark.

* * *

Castle's tweet about their segway adventure only mentioned Alexis, mostly because he suspected Kate was not ready for the publicity a mention of her name would bring them. Even if she enjoyed the attention from the Black Pawn party to a small extent, deliberate invasion into Kate's privacy was not something he wanted to attempt again just yet.

And for that reason, when he spotted a man dressed in long slacks and a long-sleeve shirt, in the middle of the summer in central park, with a camera aimed straight at them, Castle grew angry.

It wasn't as though he was Brad Pitt or Ashton Kutcher or even Stephen King. While he was a household name for those who read mystery novels, only a small portion of the population actually recognized him on sight. So why should paparazzi be following him and his small family around? And the man was so blatant in his picture taking.

Bringing the segway to a halt, Castle left it behind as he quickly strode towards the man - an older gentleman who seemed startled by Castle's abrupt movement. He opened his mouth to speak but Castle began first.

While he was careful not to touch the photographer, he lit into him with a raised voice. He began with the right to privacy, which segued nicely into common decency and finally a tirade on how the paparazzi should be ashamed of themselves. So wrapped up in his annoyance was Castle that he did not notice Kate and Alexis approach on either side of him.

Instead, his attention was focused on the man, who stared at him wide-eyed and clearly confused. Once Castle finally stopped speaking, the man looked from him to the women beside him and then back again before speaking.

The words that came out of the man's mouth were incomprehensible. While Castle could tell they were words, the strings of syllables and sounds produced no meaning in his mind. But the accent, the prevalence of certain consonants to the exclusion of others, and even some of the words - were familiar.

Russian. He was speaking Russian.

Just as Castle was wondering why a paparazzi photographer would be speaking Russian, Kate stepped in.

She spoke calmly and clearly, her mouth forming those foreign words easily as she addressed the man with the camera. She gestured to Castle as she was speaking, and the man laughed before pointing behind them at the segways they were riding. The two conversed easily with Kate's friendly manner quickly smoothing over both the Russian man's confusion and Castle's own irritation.

A few minutes later, the man turned to walk away and Kate finally turned back to Castle.

"He was wasn't taking pictures of us," she explained. "He is visiting New York and had never seen a segway before. He was taking a picture to show his wife back in St. Petersburg."

She looked so amused by the situation that Castle's own ire washed away.

"I told him why you were upset and he apologized, although he said he's never heard of you."

Beside him, Alexis let out a small laugh. Castle frowned, not sure if he should be embarrassed about his presumption or annoyed that the man hadn't recognized him. He may not be a household face, but he knew his sales did quite well in Russia.

"I guess there's no accounting for taste," Kate said, flashing him a smile and bumping his hip playfully.

* * *

While Castle did not let the brief encounter with the man bother him the rest of the day, he did find himself distracted by the memory of Kate speaking Russian. He had heard her speak it a couple of times before, had convinced her to say some things of which he still did not know the meaning. But he had never seen her converse in the language, communicating as easily and gracefully as she would in English.

And Kate speaking Russian was really hot.

He thought about it through the rest of their segway tour and well into the picnic lunch they enjoyed in Central Park. While he let himself be distracted by the frisbee game Kate initiated with Alexis, the sound of her voice in that foreign language continued to come back to him.

Of course, it reminded him of that case with the Russian mobster when she had rescued him in the kitchen of the underground gambling den. Then, not only had she been speaking with a Russian accent, she had been dressed so... so... differently.

"Dad, are you okay?" Alexis asked him, breaking him out of his reverie.

"I'm fine," he managed, pushing away the image of Kate's skimpy outfit from that night.

But his daughter still looked at him with worry. "Are you still upset about that Russian guy?" she questioned.

"No, not at all." Kate was staring at him from about twenty feet away, her frisbee in hand as an expression of concern painted her features. "Really," he added.

"Then come play with us," Alexis insisted, tugging on his arm to pull him up off the ground.

And so, he let his daughter drag him into their game of disc throwing. And as he watched the two most important women in his life interacting so naturally, Castle was glad that Alexis had invited Kate on their outing. The two of them were more alike than they knew - smart, stubborn, thoughtful, and beautiful.

They even rolled their eyes the same way when he sent the frisbee sailing errantly in the wrong direction.

"Castle," Kate sighed, just as his daughter whined, "Dad..."

"Sorry," he mumbled as he went to retrieve the disc. But as he returned with it, he thought he heard Kate say something under her breath.

In Russian.

Was she doing it deliberately? Didn't she know what that language in her voice did to him? Surely, she knew.

He muttered something about "distracting sexy accent" before returning to his self-appointed place in their triangle on the grass. And just as he threw the frisbee in her direction, he saw her lips quirk up in a knowing smirk. Yep, she definitely knew.

The disc again went the wrong way, catching an updraft and sailing well to the left of Alexis. "Dad," she said with a shake of the head.

* * *

Through the rest of the afternoon and into the evening, Kate kept him on his toes by periodically dropping words or phrases in Russian. She usually only did it when Alexis was not around or when the teenager's attention was diverted elsewhere. But Castle could tell she was being deliberate about it.

When he opened the door to the loft for her, she whispered a word he interpreted to mean "thank you." When he asked her if she wanted pizza for dinner, she answered, "Nyeht." And he felt certain that the topic of Russian olympic gymnasts did not come up at dinner all on its own.

As they finished up the last of their Chinese take-out, Castle finally confronted her about it when Alexis went to the restroom.

"Are you deliberately trying to kill me?"

"I don't know vat you are talking about," she said with a heavy accent and a twinkle in her eye.

And somehow, despite his having one of the best air conditioning units money could buy, a few words from Kate Beckett managed to instantly raise the temperature in the loft by ten or fifteen degrees.

With mock accusation, he responded, "You know what you're doing."

The smile she flashed him confirmed it - she knew exactly what she was doing.

When Alexis returned from the bathroom and the conversation turned to teasing Castle about his encounter with the man in the park with the camera, he decided that it was time for an escape.

"I think I'm going to do some writing," he said, excusing himself. Then, more quietly to Kate, he added, "Maybe Nikki will have to go up against a Russian mobster."

"Haven't you done that already?" she shot back just as quietly, the words rolling off her tongue in her amazing accent.

Noticing the curious look Alexis was giving them, Castle gave up and retreated to his office. The encounter with the amateur photographer at the park had given him an idea for his next chapter and he knew from experience that the only way to get over being distracted by Kate was to write. Of course, the idea of changing the storyline to have Nikki go undercover at a Russian mob-run brothel briefly crossed his mind, but he rejected it. Maybe he could work it into the next novel.

Time passed as it always did when Castle got into his writing groove, and when he finally closed his laptop, he heard the television on in the next room. As he opened his office door and stepped out, he instantly recognized what they were watching from the commentary.

"Who's winning?" he asked. On the screen he saw thin teenage girls doing impossible things - somersaulting and twisting in the air in ways he could never imagine accomplishing.

"USA and Russians are neck in neck," Alexis told him.

As both countries had the same colors, he had to sit down and study the screen to figure out who was competing for which nation. "She was good," he noted of one of the girls.

"Aliya Mustafina," Kate told him, a ghost of a smile playing across her lips as she pronounced the Russian girl's name.

He waited for her to say more, to tease him further by breaking out the accent again or saying something in that foreign language. But Kate simply returned her attention to the screen.

"She's really good," he ventured.

"You should see them compete on uneven bars," Alexis piped up.

And so they spent the rest of the evening watching portions of the London Olympic games - amid the gymnastics was swimming and occasionally diving. Castle observed as Alexis and Kate discussed not only the athletes, but also their techniques, countries, and even their uniforms. He was pleased - and more than a little relieved - to see the two women bond so naturally.

By the time Alexis headed off to bed and Kate allowed him to lead her to his room, Castle had almost forgotten his fascination with Kate's fluency in a foreign language. That was, he forgot until she reminded him by whispering softly in his ear, "Richard, do you not like when I speak like this?"

Of course with her accent, his first name came out more "Ree-chard" and even his creative mind went blank when trying to come up with a more appropriate descriptor than "like."

"Uh, I do," he answered, the feel of her breath on his skin causing his breath to catch. "I like."

"Yes?" she questioned as her fingers found the buttons of his shirt.

He nodded enthusiastically. "Da."

* * *

Some time later as they lay in bed together in the dark, Castle realized that he would definitely not be writing anything about Nikki Heat in a Russian brothel. The image of Kate with those foreign words on her tongue as she did amazing things to him was far too precious to ever be shared with the public.

"You learned Russian during your semester abroad," he observed. "So why did you pick Kiev? Why not learn Spanish and go to Costa Rica or... I don't know, learn Portuguese and go to Brazil?"

He felt Kate shrugged slightly. "I don't know. I wanted to go to Russia and learning the language was part of that."

"You have no idea how sexy it is," he informed her.

"I think I do," she responded, the grin curving her lips clearly audible as she went on, "Besides, you should hear my other accents."

Castle swallowed dryly.

"You can speak in... other accents?" he asked, the words barely making it out.

As she laughed at his eagerness, Castle realized once again that he would likely never learn everything there was to know about Kate Beckett.

And he was okay with that.

He was very okay with that.


	32. Thinking About It

A/N: You know that awkward moment in a story when you thought you'd addressed something only to go back and look and realize the scene you were thinking of... someone else wrote in their own story.

Thank you for the lovely reviews. They brighten my day.

* * *

**Chapter 32: Thinking About It**

"And how does that make you feel?"

It was one of Dr. Burke's favorite questions. He re-phrased it sometimes, but the gist was always the same. What were her feelings? How did she feel about this? What sort of emotional reaction did that cause? Sometimes, she really didn't want to talk about her feelings. She just wanted to feel them and move on without making a big deal about it. This was one of those times.

"I don't know," she hedged. "Guilty, I guess."

"And why do you feel guilty?"

Why did he have to ask obnoxiously obvious questions?

Rolling her eyes, Kate responded, "Because it's my fault they're so upset with each other."

"I thought you said Esposito was angry with Ryan, not that they were upset with each other," Burke pointed out.

The man was arguing semantics now? "Whatever. They aren't getting along. Esposito's back at work and he's barely talking to Ryan. He blames him for us being suspended."

"And for you quitting," he added.

"Exactly."

Pausing, letting the silence sit between them for a moment, Burke finally asked, "So why do you feel the situation is your fault?"

Seriously? Did she have to draw a diagram? "Because I told them not to take the investigation to Gates, to keep it to ourselves. I messed up. And Espo is mad at Ryan even though he did the right thing. If he hadn't gone to Gates-"

She stopped. They'd already discussed that particular situation, had spent several hours analyzing all the thoughts and feelings which had gone through her, changed her, while hanging off the side of that building.

Understanding, Burke simply filled in, "You wouldn't be here."

"Right. I wouldn't be here. And Espo shouldn't blame him for doing the right thing."

"Have you told Detective Esposito your thoughts on this?"

"I've tried, but every time I bring it up, he just says none of it would have happened if Ryan had been there to watch our backs. But..." She sighed before forcing herself to speak. "Following me is what got Javi suspended. And almost killed."

Burke raised an eyebrow. "And do you agree with him? That Ryan should have gone with you?"

The question startled her. "No, of course not. The guys didn't _have_ to help me. In fact, they probably shouldn't have."

She had never told the therapist about Montgomery, of course, so he didn't know how firmly tied together their team was when it came to the investigation. He also had no idea how incredibly loyal the guys were.

"But they did help you."

She was going to have to re-name him Doctor Obvious or something.

"Yeah, they did. I put Ryan in that position, essentially made him choose. Luckily for me, he went with his conscience. And because of everything that happened, now their partnership is on the rocks."

Regarding her with infuriating calmness, Burke stated, "It sounds like Detective Esposito's reaction to his perceived betrayal by Detective Ryan is the heart of the issue."

She nodded. That still did not mean that it wasn't her fault.

Sighing, the doctor observed, "Kate, you're holding yourself accountable for something you have no control over - Detective Esposito's feelings. You said yourself that you've tried to talk to him. What more do you think you should do?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. But I don't think I should stop trying to fix something that I broke."

* * *

He looked so nervous it was kind of cute. Not that him being nervous was cute - she hated that he was nervous - but the way he fidgeted and struggled for neutral topics was so characteristically him that Kate could not help but smile. He played with the sugar and sweetener packets on the restaurant table. He moved his glass around after taking a drink, or just to move it. He jumped whenever the waitress came by to check on their meal.

He'd already asked her about her summer twice, how she liked the Hamptons in several different ways, and about Castle (in very indirect ways) three times. Of course, he'd stuttered over the topic of her new romantic relationship with the writer, clearly curious for more information but unwilling to seem rude enough to ask about it.

Part of the problem was that she hadn't really gotten together much with Ryan over the summer. Kate had invited him and Jenny to spend a weekend in the Hamptons weeks earlier, but they'd been forced to decline because of Ryan's workload. At least, that was the excuse he'd given at the time.

But now, Kate was beginning to wonder if his distance wasn't because of something else, something she should have nipped in the bud a long time ago.

"Kevin, relax," she told him. "I'm not your superior any more, remember? We're just two old friends having lunch."

She said it with a smile and in a friendly, up-beat voice. But he still looked as though he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders.

"I'm sorry about that," he said. When she lifted an eyebrow in question, he went on, "About you not being a cop anymore."

"Don't be sorry," Kate said. "I'm not. It was my decision."

"Yeah, but if I hadn't called Gates-"

She quickly cut him off. "If you hadn't called Gates, I'd be dead. I would have fallen off the side of that building and that would have been the end of it."

Kate spoke frankly on purpose, to get his attention and to let him know that she acknowledged the truth of what he had done. He saved her life. Had he not acted, had he not made the right call, he and Esposito would have likely been the ones asked to carry the casket at _her_ funeral.

"Yeah, but maybe Javi's right," he ventured tentatively. "Maybe if I'd gone with you guys-"

"Stop," Kate interrupted. "Kevin, you didn't do anything wrong."

Burke had tried to absolve her of guilt, but if anyone needed that absolution, it was the young detective sitting before her, worrying his napkin into shreds as he second guessed himself. He had always been so impressionable, retaining a sort of innocence that she envied, she hated to see him punished for doing the right thing.

"I put you in an impossible situation - both you and Espo - and you made the right decision, Ryan. You saved my life. Not Espo. Not Castle. And not Gates. You did."

Ryan met her level gaze but he still frowned uncomfortably. "If I made the right decision, then why does it still feel like I messed up?"

Kate was seriously considering ringing Esposito's neck. Faced with his partner's downtrodden expression which made him resemble nothing so much as a sad, lonely puppy, Kate wished there was something she could say to the Hispanic detective to make him see her side of things. And then, as it sometimes did, Dr. Burke's wisdom came floating back to her.

"Ryan," she said, "he'll come around. He's feeling betrayed at the moment, but those are his feelings, not mine. I am extremely grateful for what you did. And I know Javi will see that soon as well."

Kevin looked at the table as he said, "He's requesting a new partner."

Wow. Really? Had things gotten that bad?

"I... I didn't know," she responded, the optimism immediately gone from her voice. "Do you know what the Captain will do?"

With a shrug, he said, "I think she feels the same way you do, that he'll come around eventually."

Kate nodded in agreement, although the fact that Espo had taken the step to actually request a new partner worried her.

Ryan went on, "She also... Beckett, she wanted me to tell you..."

Her heart all but stopped at the suggestion that Gates had a message for her. She hadn't exchanged one word with the woman since she'd handed in her badge and gun. What could she possibly have to-?

"If you want to come back, she's willing to treat your absence as a suspension and leave it at that. She actually... she never put in the paperwork for your termination."

Another wow. A big one.

"Ryan, this... sounds like a job offer," she ventured hesitantly.

"That's because it is. She wants you back. If you've got your head screwed on straight," he added. Then, seeing her annoyed expression, he clarified, "Her words, not mine."

If she had her head screwed on straight. What an interesting caveat. _Did_ she have it screwed on straight? Had she worked through her issues, established her priorities?

She thought that hanging off the side of that roof, almost plummeting to the ground far below, had set things in her mind. There were things in life that she wanted, that she needed. Like Castle. Her dad. Lanie and Alexis. The boys. Even Martha Rodgers.

But Kate thought that quitting her job had been the beginning of getting those things she needed, to find herself outside of her mother's murder. After all, she became a cop because of what had happened to Johanna Beckett. Shouldn't she find out what else in life she could be besides someone who investigates murders all day?

Ryan was staring at her expectantly, innocent hope flaring in his eyes the way it sometimes did. He wanted her to come back. With Esposito being so distant, he was probably lonely at work. In fact, he looked like a child whose parents had suddenly split up, fracturing the family and causing him to blame himself.

"Can I think about it?" she asked, finally speaking.

"Oh yeah, of course," he responded instantly. "She just wanted me to let you know the offer's on the table. Quietly, of course."

Of course. Gates wouldn't want it to get out that under that iron exterior she was actually a human being.

"Let me get back to you on it, then. I kind of want to..."

"Talk to Castle?" he guessed with a grin.

She smiled in response. "Yeah."

"So you two are getting pretty close, huh?"

It was the most direct question he'd asked about her relationship with the writer even though she could tell that he was dying to know more. Ryan always had been a romantic.

"I really care about him."

"That's good." He looked so pleased for her, for them. "You two are good for each other."

With a laugh, she responded, "I hope so."

His expression grew serious. "Kate," he said, the rarity of him using her first name focusing her attention, "I'm glad that you're happy. You really deserve it. I just wanted to say that. Even if you don't come back to the precinct, as long as you're happy... that's what is important."

She could feel tears begin to form in her eyes as the wave of affection for the detective washed over her. He really was like the brother she'd never had.

"Thank you."

She needed to fix things between him and Espo, no matter what happened. She owed it to Kevin and she owed it to Javi.

* * *

"How was your lunch with Ryan?" Castle asked later that evening.

For once, they were having dinner at her apartment, and she had volunteered to cook. While he had seemed skeptical at the idea, he quickly agreed when she extended the offer to stay the night. Luckily, Alexis already had her own plans – a date with the textbooks she had bought for her first classes. While she did not yet have her syllabuses, she insisted on getting a jump start on any possible readings.

Kate answered, "It was good," even though she was not certain that was the best description of the meal with Ryan. "Espo put in for a new partner."

Castle raised an eyebrow at this information, but all he said in response was, "Really?"

Nodding, Kate went on, "I don't know if Gates will grant it."

"How's Ryan taking it?"

"He's upset."

They had already talked about the rift between Ryan and Esposito. And although Kate had not confided in him the extent of her feelings of guilt about the damage to the partnership, she suspected he knew. He had even offered to talk to Esposito about it since her efforts had failed, but she refused. Just as Dr. Burke had said, Espo and Ryan needed to work things out on their own and interfering would likely only make things worse.

What Castle did not know, and what she was not sure if she should tell him just yet, was about Gates' offer to return to the precinct. Kate bit her lip thoughtfully. On the one hand, she wanted to be truthful and not keep any more secrets. On the other hand, she didn't want to bring up the subject when her own mind was far from made up on whether she wanted to go back.

Glancing up, she caught him staring at her, his appraising eyes focused on her with just a glimmer of suspicion. Kate realized that he could already tell that there was something else she was leaving unsaid, so she abandoned the idea of keeping it a secret.

"Also, Ryan passed on a message from Gates."

Again, Castle's eyebrows went up in surprise. With a sigh, she quickly retold him what Ryan had told her about returning to the precinct.

"So she hasn't even put in your paperwork yet?" Castle asked. "Can she do that?"

"Probably not, but you try telling her that."

He paused, deliberately not looking at her as he asked, "So what are you going to do?"

"I don't know."

Turning his gaze back to her, he pressed, "But you're thinking about it."

It did not escape her notice that he failed to phrase it as a question. How did he know her so well? And what did he think of her going back? She knew he would support her no matter what, that he had even implied that being a homicide detective was what she was meant to do. But still...

"I'm thinking about it a lot," Kate admitted.

With a decisive nod, Castle stated, "Good. You should think about it."

Then he smiled at her, that small grin he sometimes broke out at random moments. It was only a tiny curve of the lips really, but she loved seeing it because it was as though some amazing thought had popped into his head bringing with it a wave of delight.

"What?" she asked, wondering what he was thinking about.

Coyly, he answered, "Nothing."

"Tell me."

"Just thinking."

She prodded, "About what?"

He was teasing her, trying to lighten the mood. She loved that he cared enough to do that. Making her laugh or smile was something he'd always done, but since the summer, he'd been more open about it.

"Just wondering if you turned in your handcuffs when you resigned. Or didn't actually officially resign, apparently."

Unable to help herself, Kate smiled back at him. Of course the thought of handcuffs turned him into a giddy little school boy.

"Castle, don't read anything into this," she answered, "but I know from experience that police cuffs are not very comfortable."

"You know from-" he began to repeat, his voice a mixture of incredulity and burning curiosity.

"Castle," she interrupted, cutting off the question.

He frowned at her, an obvious pout that his round-about suggestion had been thwarted. Kate shook her head, amused by the display.

"However, since you brought the subject up, I do have a pair of non-police cuffs that are more comfortable-"

They were a gag gift she'd received from a friend long ago, too high a quality to throw out but not something she generally told anyone about. But as Kate spoke, Castle's eyes grew as wide as saucers, and before she could even complete her sentence, he had cut her off with a kiss.

Within minutes, they were headed towards her bedroom, all thoughts of Ryan and Espo, her future with the NYPD, and the dinner she had promised to cook completely forgotten.


	33. In Sickness

**A/N: **Thank you to everyone who has been reading and reviewing. Feedback is always appreciated.

* * *

**Chapter 33: In Sickness**

"Kate, time to wake up."

She mumbled something incomprehensible but otherwise did not react.

"Kate, I have your cup of coffee." That usually did the trick.

But instead of turning towards the smell of the beloved substance, Kate groaned softly, a pitiful sound he was unfamiliar with.

"Are you okay?" he asked, reaching a hand out to touch the side of her face. Her skin felt hot to the touch - unusually hot. "Kate, you're burning up."

Finally, she responded, although her voice was scratchy and she barely opened her eyes. "Don't feel good," she mumbled.

Castle wasn't surprised that she was sick. They'd been at the museum the weekend before, surrounded by people, and he knew that the flu was making the rounds through the city. And she had gone to bed early the night before complaining of a headache.

Kicking into 'Dad Mode,' Castle quickly retrieved a thermometer from the bathroom to check her temperature.

"One hundred degrees," he read, frowning. Definitely high. "Kate, I need you to sit up so you can take some tylenol..."

Castle quickly learned that Sick Kate was definitely not a woman he was familiar with. Even worse than Pre Coffee Kate, she had trouble focusing and comprehending what he said. Or, if she did understand him, she ignored it. "Just need sleep," she pronounced as her final opinion on the subject. And then she repeated it in response to every one of his suggestions.

"Maybe I should call the doctor."

"Just need sleep."

"You might need antibiotics."

"Flu. Need sleep."

"Kate, honey, you have a temperature. At least take some tylenol," he pushed.

"Not too high," she muttered, somehow remembering the number he'd read aloud. "Just need sleep."

After some cajoling, he managed to get the unhappy patient to cooperate, at least with the medication. And she downed several more swallows of water although not as much fluid as he would have liked. Fretting, he returned to the living room with his rejected cup of coffee, now cold and lonely as he poured it into the sink and placed the cup in the dish washer.

"How is she feeling?" Alexis asked.

"Not great. Looks like she has the flu."

"Poor thing. Is there anything I can do?"

Alexis had been planning on going over to Columbia for the day. She had already done the official orientation weekend but with classes starting soon, she wanted to explore the campus a little more, find all the libraries and hidden nooks and crannies.

"No, you should go on with your plans for today. I'm just going to stay here and take care of Kate."

Nodding with sympathetic understanding, Alexis said, "Call me if you need me to pick up anything for her."

"Will do."

After seeing Alexis out, Castle settled onto the couch, wondering if there was more he could be doing for his sick girlfriend. He tried to remember if he had ever seen her suffering from an illness before. She had to have succumbed to a cold or the flu before - she wasn't superwoman, no matter how much he sometimes thought she was. But as he considered it, he realized he never had seen her sick. The one or two times Kate had called in to the precinct as too sick to go to work, she would simply show up a day or two later looking fine. Having seen her method of recovery, Castle suspected that she simply crawled into bed and hibernated until the bug passed.

But Castle could not imagine just leaving her in the bedroom to sleep off this flu all by herself. She had _him_ now, and that meant all the things that came with him - food, medicine, regular temperature checks, and through it all, Nurse Castle.

He let her sleep for the next few hours, only disturbing her long enough to put his hand to her forehead, testing to see if her temperature had risen dramatically. She still seemed fine, although very drowsy and out of it. Around lunchtime he took her a mug of warm soup and a ginger ale along with more tylenol for her fever. Although Kate grumbled at him, he got her to sit up long enough to drink some of the soup, take the medicine, and let him take her temperature properly. Down to 99 degrees.

"I feel horrible," she said in a raspy voice, taking careful sips of the soup he'd brought her. And while Castle knew he shouldn't admire her appearance - hair unbrushed, no makeup, and a dull sheen of sweat from the fever - he could not help it. She still looked gorgeous, her natural beauty showing through the absence of an artificial lens.

"Do you need anything?" he asked. "More pillows? More blankets? More water?"

She refused, and he let her to get some more sleep, which he knew she needed as much as anything.

He tried to write, to watch television, to read a book. But the thought of Kate sleeping in the next room kept him too distracted to keep his mind on any one task. His fatherly instincts were going into overdrive, especially since he had never gone through this with Kate before. He had no idea what was typical for her when she got sick. By late afternoon, he found himself calling Lanie to see if he should take Kate to the doctor.

Thankfully, Lanie was patient with him, asking for Kate's symptoms before assuring him that it was likely the flu. "She needs lots of rest and fluids," the medical examiner told him, echoing Kate's earlier sentiments. "But if her fever spikes, call me."

With the advice of an actual doctor relieving his worry, Castle took his patient an early dinner - more soup - and another glass of cold water. She still seemed fuzzy and tired, but she sat up again and talked to him while she ate the soup. At least that was an improvement.

"Sorry I'm not good company today," she offered with a weak smile.

"You just wait until I get sick," Castle told her. "Alexis tells me I'm a terrible patient."

"Well if you keep exposing yourself to me, you will catch this," Kate warned.

"Then I get you as my nurse," he reflected with a grin. His mind flashed with an image of her in an old-style white nurse's uniform. With a very short skirt.

"Sounds totally worth it."

"I don't have a lot of experience taking care of people." Kate paused before amending her statement to, "At least, not sick people. Intoxicated, that I know."

She was referring to her father during his years of alcohol abuse, Castle realized. She never talked much about that time period, although he could imagine some of it from his own experiences with his mother.

Changing the subject, he asked if she wanted him to set up a television for her to watch. Or a radio. Or bring her his laptop.

"Maybe a book?" she said, tentative.

He immediately went in search of the one he'd seen her thumbing through the day before, locating it in the living room tucked into the side of the couch. Bringing it back to her, he noted the title and author. "What, no murder mystery?" he teased.

"This is a classic."

"Haven't you already read it?"

She shrugged. "I re-read the good ones. You know this." With a sleepy smile, she asked, "Haven't you read it?"

"I saw a really long movie. Does that count?"

She rolled her eyes at him, although he delighted in the amusement he saw in her features. She was more awake and alert than she'd been all day, and he craved the interaction with her. And yet, he knew she needed to rest and that he should not wear her out.

"Want me to read to you?" he offered.

Startled by the suggestion, Kate immediately stiffened up, and he could not tell if it was because he might be intruding on her personal relationship with the book or if she wasn't sure he was serious. "You can if you want," she said a moment later, cautious.

He would take that as a 'yes.' Cracking open the book, he skipped over the title page and began at chapter one.

"It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife." He stopped at the first sentence, immediately on guard. "Now see," he commented. "I take exception to that."

"It's a 19th century romance novel, Castle," Kate said.

"Which is still widely read today," he pointed out.

"You don't have to read it."

"No, now I'm curious."

And so he set off into the pages of Jane Austen's great masterpiece, following Elizabeth Bennett through her trials and tribulations. Kate fell asleep around chapter two, but he kept reading, letting his voice float quietly through the room. He set the book down around the time the Bennett family began discussing Mr. Darcy's conduct at slighting Lizzy at the assembly room ball.

He rather commiserated with the character of Darcy, a wealthy man of stature who had to wade through a sea of fortune hunters in search of the right woman. And there was no divorce in those days if you picked the wrong one, not really, and the concept of dating did not exist. Courting, yes. But courting a woman could land the man in hot water if there was the expectation that he should offer her his hand...

Shaking his head, Castle tried to clear it of Jane Austen's world. But as he looked over at Kate sleeping in his bed, he could not help but attempt to picture her in a long, flowing gown. She would be like the Bennett sisters, a gentlewoman of good family but limited means. Except, she would not be content to spend her days embroidering cushions or knitting or whatever gentlewomen spent their days doing back then. No, she would be solving crimes.

His mind began swimming with possibilities as it started re-writing the classic plot. Someone would have to die, of course...

* * *

When Kate woke up hours later, she found Castle sitting next to her bed, typing away on his laptop. "What time is it?" she asked.

Looking up, he took her in for a moment before pronouncing, "It's about one in the morning."

"What are you still doing up?" she asked. While he knew her internal clock would be off from sleeping all day, he understood her confusion as to his own late hours.

"Um... writing," Castle ventured.

"What are you writing?" she asked. "Nikki Heat?"

"Sort of..."

Putting aside the laptop, he distracted her by once again taking her temperature, which was back down to normal, and bringing her more liquids and re-heated soup. He helped her make her way to the bathroom to freshen up, replacing the sheets on the bed while she took a quick rinse in the shower. Once she had changed into fresh clothes, he settled her back into the bed, fluffing her pillows with flourish and literally tucking her blankets in around her.

"Thank you. For taking care of me," Kate offered awkwardly. He could tell that the situation unnerved her, that she was not used to receiving such attention. But, she did not dislike it, either.

With a smile, he promised, "Always."

She smiled back at him, and he wished there was a way to express how he felt about her in that moment. She looked vulnerable, and yet, still so strong and capable. For all the times that he followed behind her while she charged ahead, armed and seeking out dangerous criminals, this was a domain where he could watch over her.

"Can I read what you're writing?" she asked.

"It isn't finished yet."

"I don't mind."

"It's kind of a new genre for me."

"What, you're writing science fiction, now?" she joked.

"No, not science fiction. Although now that you mention it-"

"Castle," she interrupted. "Just tell me."

Despite the pathetic expression she wore and the way her eyelids drooped sleepily, he shook his head, unwilling to let her see it before he had more written. She argued with him, bribed him, tried to guilt him, and ultimately just threatened him. But Castle refused to budge.

"Fine," Kate muttered petulantly, even as she could no longer keep her eyes open. "I'll remember..."

Her words drifted off as she fell asleep again, the illness sapping her of all energy. Without missing a beat, Castle went straight back to writing. Alexis had called him earlier in the evening to let him know she'd be staying the night with a friend. He did not blame her for a last revel in childhood before starting college in a few days, especially since his attention was so focused on Kate. Eventually, after another hour of writing, he himself fell asleep, first nodding off in the chair and finally giving up and laying on top of the covers on the bed next to Kate.

* * *

He awoke some hours later to a shaking sensation. The bed was shaking. Earthquake? he wondered. Probably not. An instant later his mind caught up with his senses and he realized it was Kate restlessly tossing and turning.

She was also groaning a little in her sleep.

Frowning, Castle stood up from the bed and circled to her side to check on her. She had managed to kick off most of her covers, but still she was drenched in sweat. He pressed his wrist to her forehead - she was burning up, even hotter than the day before.

He tried to wake her up to take her temperature, but she was in such a haze that she resisted him, pushing away the thermometer. Finally, in a growing state of panic, Castle did something drastic.

He called Lanie.

She answered on the fourth ring, made sure he knew that it was 4 am, and then listened patiently as he explained Kate's situation. Should he take her to the ER? He couldn't even take her temperature. Castle wished furiously that he'd bought one of those expensive thermometers that you just put in the patient's ear, but Alexis had always been such an easy sport growing up that it had never been necessary.

"I'll be over in a few minutes," Lanie told him.

"So you think it's serious?" he questioned.

"Yes, it's serious," she answered. "You are seriously driving me nuts, Castle. But I'll come check on her anyway."

By the time the medical examiner arrived at the loft, Kate had settled back down into a light sleep. She still looked warm, the sheen of perspiration attesting to her internal temperature, but at least she was no longer thrashing about.

"So where's the patient?" Lanie asked as he answered the door. She was already dressed for work in scrubs, but the dark circles under her eyes betrayed the lost sleep this visit had cost her.

Unwilling to apologize for calling her, Castle simply led her to the bedroom. Kate's health came first, and he knew her best friend agreed.

As Lanie sat on the bed next to her friend, Kate stirred. Her eyes blinked open but remained unfocused. "Lanie?" she said uncertainly.

"Yep, I'm here, Kate. Which means either you are really sick or you've scared Writer Boy here enough for him to think you are." Out of the bag she'd brought, Lanie pulled out a thermometer - the ear temperature kind Castle envied.

"I need to get one of those," he muttered as Lanie used the instrument.

Ignoring him, she noted aloud, "One hundred and two degrees. High but not high enough to go to the hospital."

"No hospital," Kate argued automatically, still quite out of it.

"I don't usually let my patients make their own diagnoses, but in this case she's right, Castle," Lanie stated.

"So you think it's the flu?"

She nodded. "It's going around. And she has all the symptoms."

Belatedly, Kate spoke up in a foggy haze. "All your patients are dead." She frowned at this observation, as though wondering what that said about herself.

Not missing a beat, Lanie looked at Castle. "She'll be fine. Rest and fluids. If her temperature goes up any more, call me. When was the last time you gave her something?"

It was time for another dose of tylenol and Lanie administered it to a very groggy Kate before tucking her back in bed. They left her in the bedroom as Castle followed Lanie back out to the living room.

"Are you sure she doesn't need to go to the doctor?" he asked.

Lanie smiled at him sympathetically. "You could take her, if you could get her there. But I doubt they'll say anything different. Castle, I've known Kate for years. When she gets sick, she crawls into bed and doesn't move for three days."

"But you're a doctor. Can't you make her go in and get seen?"

"Let me put it to you this way. When I was in medical school, I had a cat. He was old and cranky and didn't like to be picked up. Every year I had to take him to the vet, and by the end, I started wearing leather gardening gloves to keep him from clawing me. And he still fought tooth and nail every single time I tried to put him in his carrier." She paused before poking a finger in the direction of Castle's bedroom, and consequently, Kate's sleeping figure. "She's worse."

He frowned but let the subject drop. "Can I borrow your ear thermometer?"

Lanie nodded and pulled it out of her bag for him. "It's my personal one, so I want it back," she warned.

"Absolutely."

She looked at him for a moment, her features softened. "You know, Kate's lucky to have you," she said seriously.

"I'm the lucky one," he said automatically in response.

With an enigmatic smile, Lanie just shook her head at him. "Call me if Kate gets any worse," she advised. "And Castle? Don't forget to take care of yourself."

* * *

A few hours later, Kate's temperature had come down again and she was resting more comfortably. When she woke up, Castle made her eat some soup and toast. He also loaded her up on fluids, bringing her a variety of water, ginger ale, and orange juice. She ate and drank more than he expected her to, which was heartening.

But before falling asleep again, she asked about his story. "Are you done with it yet?" she questioned.

In truth, he'd forgotten about it that morning after her temperature had spiked. He'd been too worried to think of anything else but her.

"Not yet."

"Can you at least tell me what it's about?" she queried.

Kate looked so curious despite her obvious exhaustion and discomfort.

"I will drink the rest of my orange juice if you'll tell," she negotiated.

The offer was so characteristically Kate that he laughed. "Okay, fine. But you have to drink all of it."

She gulped the citrus down quickly - almost too quickly - then set the glass aside, giving him a look of expectation.

"Okay, here's what it's about," Castle relented. He went on to set out the major plot points and departure from the original Jane Austen storyline.

Instead of wreaking havoc with the women in Middleton, Mr. Wickham suffered a likely much deserved but unfortunately untimely death. The local doctor pronounced it to be the work of poison - often a woman's weapon. Instead of dancing around each other most of the book, Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy form an unlikely team of unofficial investigators as they seek out the man's murderer.

Kate listened with rapt attention as he set the scene for his re-write, which he had unofficially dubbed _Pride and Prejudice and Murder_. After all, if they could re-do the classic with a nod to the zombie apocalypse, why couldn't he write it as a murder mystery?

When he was done with his description, brief enough to be the dust jacket blurb, he looked at Kate expectantly for her thoughts.

She looked at him with glassy eyes and he could tell that fatigue was calling her back to sleep. But before letting it pull her into unconsciousness, she observed, "That sounds like something I'll want to read. First. I get to read it first."

His eyes crinkled with humor as she dropped off to sleep.

* * *

Exhausted, Castle took a short nap on the couch. He woke to the sound of a key in the lock. He stood as Alexis entered the apartment, back from her friend's house.

"How's Kate?" she asked immediately.

"Still sick, but she was a little better last time I checked on her."

His daughter frowned at him. Without a word, she reached out a hand to touch his forehead. "Dad, are you sure you're okay? You feel warm to me."

Now that she mentioned it, his stomach did feel queasy. And his head seemed to be stuffed with cotton balls. And there was an unusual dizziness...

"Dad, I'm taking your temperature."

"Use Lanie's thermometer," he instructed, pointing to it on the counter. "It's one of those cool ones you put in your ear."

Simultaneously smiling and rolling her eyes at his juvenile fascination with toys, Alexis took his temperature.

"Ninety nine point five," she pronounced. "Looks like it's off to bed with you as well."

"But I can't be sick," he whined. "I have to write. And take care of Kate."

"Not today you aren't."

"But-"

"No but's. I know Kate's in your room, so you can lie down on the couch," she informed him. "I'll bring you some pillows and blankets. Have you had anything to eat today?"

Suddenly feeling very dizzy, Castle did not argue with his daughter but simply followed her instructions. In short order he was set up on the couch much as Kate was installed in the bedroom. Except he had the remote control for the television, he mentally noted with a sort of maniacal glee. When Alexis brought him lunch - soup and a grilled cheese sandwich - he moved his feet to let her sit on the couch with him.

"Movie marathon?" he suggested.

"Dad, you should get some sleep," Alexis admonished him.

"But I'll sleep better with something on in the background," he argued.

"Okay, but only one movie."

"_Monty Python_?"

"How about _Casablanca_?" she returned.

They finally compromised on _Groundhog Day_. And Castle finally fell asleep, the comforting tones of Bill Murray's sarcastic voice following him into his dreams.


	34. Distractions

**A/N**: Thank you so much for the reviews!

Tried to keep Kate's backstory as close to canon as possible in this chapter. And probably no more updates on this story until next week because I will be out of town.

* * *

**Chapter 34: Distractions**

While Castle was helping move Alexis into her new apartment-style dorm in Morningside Heights, Kate spent the day at her own apartment. They had invited her to come with them, of course, but she begged off, not wanting to interfere in that particular father/daughter experience.

Kate remembered when she herself went to college - packing up the car her parents had bought her senior year before setting out for California. It wasn't the first time she'd been away from home, but it was the first time she'd ever driven across the country by herself.

The independence had proved liberating. While Kate had several wild teenage years, going to college so far from her parents had been a challenge. She could no longer call her mom to pick her up from a party when she was too drunk to drive home. She could no longer ask her dad for an extra $20 to buy a CD she wanted. But she'd blossomed in the collegiate environment. While her focus was pre-law, she took classes in history, art, and literature while dabbling in all sorts of new hobbies. The future held such promise and purpose.

Of course, all of that came crashing down when her mother was murdered in early January of 1999. Kate was still on winter break from school, getting ready to fly back to Stanford for her spring semester, when the detective came to the door on that fateful evening.

She took a leave of absence at first, but within a month or two she knew there was no way she could go back to California again, so far from her father. He had extended his habit of a glass or two of wine a night to drinking himself into a stupor. By the end of what would have been the fall semester, she was already applying for a transfer to NYU.

Kate shook her head, amazed at how much one person's life could be changed by the evil act of a criminal. She hoped that Alexis would never experience her world being turned so utterly upside down. In fact, she intended to make that one of the goals in her life, to keep Castle safe.

However, that goal and the thought of returning to the NYPD had been warring with her all day. The two concepts continued to circle each other in her mind later that evening as Castle stopped by her apartment.

"Hey," she said as she answered the door, greeting him with a sympathetic smile. He looked so emotionally distraught.

Through pouty lips, he whined, "My little girl is all grown up."

She ushered him inside and sat down next to him as he slumped onto her couch dejectedly.

"She may be all grown up, but she'll always be your little girl," Kate told him.

"Just yesterday she was going down the slide at the playground and explaining to me why I couldn't have a pet dinosaur. Now she's in college." He took a deep breath before admitting, "It makes me feel old."

With a snort, she responded, "Castle, you aren't old."

"I have a teenager in college," he pointed out by way of evidence.

"So what?"

"So... she's in college. She's moved out."

Kate smirked. "Did she clean out her room at the loft?"

"Well... no."

Even when Kate was going to school in California, she had left a number of things at home. Not just furniture and the collection of childhood items, but her motorcycle.

"Then she isn't moved out. This is a process, Castle. And even if she is at college, she's just across town."

"But I'm not allowed to drop in on her unannounced. Or follow her to her classes. Or-"

Interrupting him, Kate summed up, "Or be a creepy dad? Of course not, Castle. She's going to need her space, but that doesn't mean that she isn't going to come home all the time, especially in the beginning."

Nodding to himself, Castle noted, "I did tell her that any time she wanted a home-cooked meal, she could come home."

"Or if she gets homesick. Or if she needs to do laundry. Or if she gets tired of her roommates."

Castle responded, "Actually, she has her own room. The dorm is 'apartment-style' with a common living room and kitchen."

Amused at his naivety, Kate responded sagely, "She's an only child who has lived at your loft almost her entire life. Trust me, she will have roommate issues. It's one of the constants of being a first-year college student."

As she spoke, Castle's eyes narrowed on hers. "How did your parents handle you going all the way to Stanford?" he asked.

"They were okay, supportive. My mom didn't even complain when I ran up my long distance bill calling her every day the first week."

"Ah, the joys of the modern age," Castle noted. "Today we have Skype."

"The modern age? Are you calling me 'old,' Castle?" she teased.

"No, not at all."

Changing the subject, she pursued a topic that she had been trying to bring up with him for several days, one he had deftly avoided.

"So when do I get to read your story?" she asked.

"What story?" he returned coyly, as if he had no idea what she was talking about.

With a roll of the eyes, she stated, "Your _Pride and Prejudice and Murder_ story."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

With a look of both astonishment and annoyance, Kate poked him, probably a little harder than necessary. "You know exactly what I'm talking about!" she exclaimed, cutting off his whiny, "Ouch."

"You were sick," Castle responded. "I think you must have dreamed it."

"You are so full of it."

"No, seriously, you were delirious," he maintained.

"_I_ was delirious?" she returned. "You were the one who insisted we were living the same day over and over again."

"You can blame Alexis for that one. She suggested I watch _Groundhog Day_ while I was sick. All the crazy dreams I had, I don't think I can ever look at Bill Murray the same way again..."

"Castle," she said, cutting him off before he could once again describe to her his fever-induced dreams. One more rendition of how she'd saved him from jumping into a volcano only to be on a boat fighting against a giant shark and Kate was sure she'd scream. Why the flu-ridden writer had decided that a movie marathon would be a good idea, she would never know. At least he'd gotten to spend some time with his daughter before Alexis moved into the dorm.

"What?" he asked, giving an innocent but not-so-innocent smile.

He was arguing too much; she had to do it. Ignoring the part of herself that wanted to just laugh at his expressions and tease him into submission, Kate summoned her best female Look and nailed him with it. She'd used it on him before, of course, perfecting it when he first started shadowing him. And while she hadn't had a lot of cause to bring it out over the summer since this new facet of their relationship had begun, she didn't want it to get too rusty.

Castle resisted the look at first, staring back at her with equal force. But Kate had a great deal of experience with banishing emotion from her features and schooling her face to show nothing but calm indifference. She'd broken many grown men using that look during interrogations - murderers, thieves, all varieties of criminals.

So she wasn't terribly surprised when Castle caved under the weight of that look. He tried to take her down with him, his eyes growing wide and adorable like a two-month old puppy, his lip quivering like a child denied a piece of cake, and his head tilted innocently to the side. But Kate kept her eye on the prize; she was going to win this one.

Finally, after several long moments of shifting restlessly on his side of the couch, Castle relented. "Okay fine, you can read it."

Her calm facade breaking into a smile, Kate beamed at him.

"When it's finished," he added.

The smile fell into a frown as she struggled not to pout in response to his hasty caveat.

"When will it be done?" she questioned.

"Soon."

"How soon?"

"Soon enough."

Kate regarded him for a moment, unimpressed with his less than specific answer. She didn't break out the Look again, didn't think it was necessary. Besides, she had an even better idea of how to torture him.

"Maybe you need a little inspiration?" she suggested. To emphasize her point, she placed her hand on his knee.

Fire flashed in Castle's eyes as he answered with deliberate casualness, "Couldn't hurt."

"Maybe something to help with the dialogue...?" Kate added, letting her hand slide along his leg.

"Yeah, sure. Definitely."

"And the atmosphere...?"

He gulped, "Uh huh."

"Maybe a little romance?"

Speech abandoned him and Castle merely nodded. With a knowing smirk, Kate withdrew her hand and stood up from the couch. He watched her in confusion as she crossed the living room to a cabinet which housed her small DVD collection. Pulling out several of the thin boxes, she returned and handed them to Castle.

"What's this?" he asked dumbly.

"_Sense and Sensibility_, _Persuasion_, and _Emma_," she informed him smugly. "You said you needed inspiration."

With a snort, he answered, "Not the kind of inspiration I was imagining."

"Oh, yeah?"

She knew she was teasing him, and she knew that he knew she was teasing him. And despite his expression of feigned annoyance, Kate could tell he didn't mind the teasing. In many ways, it reminded her of their relationship before - when they were merely coworkers and friends and not lovers.

"So where's your television?" Castle asked in resignation. Looking around, he seemed to realize for the first time that there was not one in her living room.

She hadn't actually intended to make him watch the films. Rather, Kate had already begun considering how much whining she would endure before relenting and suggesting something else. Chase scenes, explosions, and zombies were more up Castle's alley than 19th century romantic comedies. But he seemed willing enough, without a trace of whining...

With a coy smile she said pointedly, "In the bedroom."

He seemed confused for a few seconds before understanding dawned in his eyes. Needing no further invitation, he jumped up from the couch and followed her into the bedroom.

Kate gestured for him to relax on the bed while she opened her TV cabinet and put in one of the DVDs at random. A moment later, she joined him on the bed as the opening credits of _Sense and Sensibility_ began to play.

"You know, they say it isn't good to have a television in the bedroom," Castle remarked.

With a roll of her eyes, she asked, "And why's that?"

"They say it's a distraction. The bedroom should be for sleeping. And for... other stuff."

"Sometimes I like to have it on when I fall asleep," she explained. "And besides, I would think 'other stuff' would be more of a distraction from sleeping than the television."

Castle considered this for a moment, nodding. "If you're doing it right," he conceded. He had scooted closer to her so that he was reclined against the pillows and most of her body was relaxed against him.

"And? Are we?" she asked with a laugh.

"I don't know," he responded thoughtfully as he touched the fabric of her shirt. "I think we'll need a demonstration to see if you're more distracting than the television."

Kate laughed at him. "This is a pretty good movie," she pointed out.

"Better than... other stuff?" Castle pressed, moving his hand lower.

She considered his question for a moment before answering decidedly, "Well, I have seen it before-"

As he cut her off with a kiss, Kate congratulated herself on completely distracting him from not only the television, but also the trauma of his only daughter going off to college.


	35. Relationships

**A/N:** So "summer" is winding down and we're only a couple of weeks away from the season premiere. I think this story is winding down and only anticipate a few more chapters. Thanks for everyone who has been following this story and reviewing!

* * *

**Chapter 35: Relationships**

Kate had warned him, Castle noted to himself grimly, wishing for the tenth time that evening that he had listened to her.

"Don't get involved," she'd told him. Sage advice, he knew, but he thought he was being clever.

"It's just a friendly game of poker," he responded, but her only answer was a knowing shake of the head.

If only it was just a friendly game of poker.

As it turned out, it was a no-holds-barred game of angry poker as two of New York's finest detectives refused to back down.

Ryan arrived first, of course, on time and excited for a fun night with Castle and some of the other guys from work. But when Esposito knocked on the door a few minutes later, both men knew what the writer was trying to do. There were no other players.

"No way, man," Espo stated, as annoyed and defense as a Castle had ever seen the man.

But whatever argument he could have made to keep the detective there would never have been as effective as Ryan's next words. "It's okay," the Irish detective said dismissively. "He's just afraid I'll beat him."

All three men spotted the reverse psychology immediately, but the obvious affront to Esposito's pride couldn't go unchallenged. Taking a step towards his partner, the ex-special forces officer demanded, "Who're you calling afraid?"

Ryan shrugged and under his breath began making faint chicken noises. Espo took another step towards him, but Castle intervened.

"Neither of you have to worry about the other winning," he informed them cheekily, "because I have no intention of letting either of you go home with your hard earned tax-payer money."

Thus began the poker game from hell.

Esposito glared at both of them as he anted up. He glared as he called, as he showed his cards, and even as he collected his winnings. However, the few times he folded, his expression made Castle actually fear for their lives.

For his part, Ryan played the role of a brash and confident player, bluffing like a pro as he needled Esposito and even occasionally made jokes at Castle's expense. "So, where's Beckett tonight? She doesn't want to play with us?" he asked.

Castle began to respond but was cut off by Esposito. "She's having a girls' night out with Lanie. Or don't you two keep in touch anymore?"

While Castle suspected that Espo knew of the girls' night plans more from Lanie than from Kate, he said nothing as he observed the almost imperceptible frown on Ryan's face. The remark had hit home - the young detective missed working with his mentor and harbored a lot of guilt over her departure from the NYPD.

"Actually, Jenny and I are going to dinner with Beckett and Castle next week," Ryan retorted.

He spoke the truth. They were planning on a sort of double-date. Castle and Beckett had also been careful not to let Lanie know lest she tell Esposito and the whole thing get blown out of context.

So much for the best laid plans.

Watching the sudden twitching of Esposito's left eye as he avoided the writer's gaze, Castle attempted to change the subject. "So, what do you two think-"

He got no further as Espo interrupted, "Yeah? Well Lanie and I spent a weekend with them in the Hamptons this summer."

Ryan looked hurt, but he retorted angrily, "Yeah? Well then invited us too, but I was too busy doing my work _and_ yours because you got yourself suspended-"

"Guys," Castle said, trying to rein in this catastrophe.

"I wouldn't have gotten suspended if you'd had my back. Like a real partner."

"A _real partner_?" Ryan spat back. "A real partner wouldn't have gone off half-cocked like a vigilante. And besides, you told me not to come, that you 'had it.'"

"And we would have," Espo yelled, pushing himself up from the table. "I didn't tell you to call Gates like you were crying back to your mommy."

Ryan likewise stood from the table opposite his partner. "Lucky for you that I did or Beckett would be dead right now," he said bluntly. "Speaking of watching your partner's back... why was she on that roof alone? Oh yeah, you got knocked out by a suspect."

"Guys," he tried again, a little more loudly. All this discussion about Kate and that day on the roof was beginning to unnerve him. Not only did he hate thinking about how close she'd come to death, he also shared Esposito's unspoken guilt over not having been there to rescue her.

Ignoring him, Esposito threw back, "Well at least I was there to get knocked out. A little something called loyalty. Maybe you've heard of it."

"Oh yeah, I'll tell you about loyalty-"

"Enough!" Castle shouted, loud enough to startle both detectives and himself. This battle had gone on far too long. With both men's attention focused on him, he turned to Esposito. "She needed you and you were there for her. But she was wrong to go without back up." To Ryan he said, "You did the right thing by calling Gates even if it got them suspended. And she quit all on her own. That wasn't you." Swiveling back towards Espo, he emphasized, "It wasn't either of you. And right now, she's alive. She's out having drinks with Lanie and none of us had to carry her casket through a cemetery this summer."

He turned on his heel and headed towards his office where he kept a small stock of liquor. At the door, he noticed the two detectives following him with their eyes, both with expressions full of chagrin. No one had forgotten Montgomery's untimely death or Kate's assassination attempt at his funeral the year before.

He beckoned them to follow. Once in his office, he pulled out his best bottle of scotch and three tumblers. He filled each with a respectable amount before handing one to both men and taking the last for himself. Holding his glass up, he toasted, "To Beckett."

"To Beckett," the detectives echoed. All three downed their drinks with gusto.

Picking up the bottle of scotch, Castle headed back into the living room. As he walked, he called out, "If you two will stay and continue this game in a civilized manner, I promise to ply you with liquor and the possibility of winning a lot of money."

Esposito seemed skeptical but retook his seat anyway. Ryan proved more enthusiastic, obviously glad that their nasty fight was over. Not bothering to get a verbal confirmation of their agreement, Castle quickly began dealing cards.

For a while, they played in subdued silence, no one but Castle bothering to so say much more than, "Raise," "Call," or "I'm out."

But finally, after a number of awkward moments had passed, Ryan broke the ice. "So is it weird being with Beckett now?" he asked.

Castle blinked at the question. "Weird? No." He searched for the appropriate word. Something to convey his sense of relief, amazement, and the total wonder of being with Kate Becket. Finally, he settled for a simple, "It's _awesome_."

The other men chuckled at his enthusiasm.

Not letting the subject drop, Esposito asked, "So how did that come about anyway? When did you two get together?"

His mind flashed with images and feelings from that night. Kate standing on his doorstep, soaked from the rain. His annoyance at seeing her there and demand to know what she wanted. Her simple response of "You." Then there were words, apologies and declarations. And when there were no words left, only touches, tastes, and sounds.

And there was absolutely no way he was sharing any part of that night with the guys.

"It was shortly after she quit," he told them succinctly.

Esposito's eyes went wide. "After she quit? You mean after she gave up the search for her mother's murderer after almost falling off the side of a building? That's when she finally decided to give it a shot with you?" he asked sketically.

Castle did not like the detective's tone, nor was he keen on the alarmed look Ryan was suddenly sporting. "What?" he demanded.

The Irish detective shrugged. "Nothing. Just... Tough circumstances to start a relationship under."

Esposito nodded in vague agreement and a sudden chill went up Castle's spine.

He had often thought about the night Kate had showed up at the loft and the circumstances behind it. Why that night? Was it because she'd almost died? Was it because she'd quit her job? Or was it because she realized that jumping into this thing with him might bring her more happiness than finding her mom's killer?

Castle had always hoped it was the latter, but the twin expressions on Ryan and Esposito's faces made him worry that he had been deluding himself. They'd both known Kate longer than he had. And this wasn't the first time a near-death experience caused her to make a relationship decision. He remembered that night after they'd been rescued from the freezer, the way she walked away from him and towards Dr. Motorcycle Boy with the dreaded words, "It means we have a chance," still ringing in the air.

Was being with him just another, "It means we have a chance"? Was Kate really in it because she wanted to be, or because she was blindly following some perceived signals from the universe?

"We're doing fine," he told the guys, probably sounding more defensive than he wanted. They both nodded in acknowledgment of his words, but neither would meet his eye. And they both did their best to change the conversation. But it stayed with Castle.

* * *

She was amused when he told her about the argument between Ryan and Esposito, although she did not come right out and say the words, "I told you so."

"I warned you not to get involved."

Well, maybe not the exact words.

"How did the rest of the evening go?" she asked. They had finished a late dinner and were enjoying a glass of wine on her couch, both reveling in the fact that neither had to be up at a particular time in the morning.

Terrible, Castle wanted to tell her. The guys had completely psyched him out about his relationship with her. But he didn't want to mention that part. Not because he was afraid of how she would react, but... yes, he was afraid of how she would react. Either she would get upset with him for doubting her, the outcome he hoped for, or she would look guilty and nervous that he had hit upon a buried truth, a reaction he never wanted to see.

And deep down, he didn't want to know. Well, he wanted to know, but he really didn't want to know.

"What?" Kate said, and Castle realized he'd been staring at her.

"It went fine," he responded, forcing himself to focus on her and not on the doubts swirling around in his head. Maybe it was their way of paying him back for the poker game ambush he'd instigated. He hoped so. He hoped that they didn't have a point about Kate jumping into this relationship right after a near-death experience, giving up her mother's case, and quitting her job.

Her eyes narrowed at him with discerning scrutiny. "Something's bothering you," she observed. "Why won't you tell me what it is?"

"It's nothing," he lied.

She rolled her eyes at the obviousness of the fib. He really needed to learn to lie a little better.

"It's nothing important," he amended.

"Did Ryan and Espo say something? Was it worse than you told me?"

Oh, they said something. Just not about each other.

Castle shook his head. "No, they were fine."

"What did they say?"

So when did she become a human lie detector? Kate really needed to go back to work so she could focus those skills somewhere they would do more good.

With a sigh, Castle revealed, "They just asked about you and me, and I told them a little bit about us getting together and..." Kate's eyebrows shot up so high he worried they might actually disappear into her hairline. "Not like that," he assured her quickly. "They were just wondering about _when_ we became.. us. And then with the circumstances, they said some things..."

"They said some things that totally freaked you out," Kate finished for him.

"Well... not totally."

She seemed oddly calm about this conversation, as though she had been partially expecting it. But instead of shying away from him or turning in on herself and shutting him out, she surprised him.

"You're worried about my timing," she stated. Not a question. "That I came to you that night, after everything that happened."

"I'm not worried," he argued. "I'm..."

Concerned? Curious? No longer so blinded by happiness as to keep from questioning her motivations?

"You need reassurance that you aren't my rebound," Kate said quietly.

Rebound?

Before he could voice the word which jolted through him like lightening, she clarified, "Rebound from my job, from the case."

An interesting way to phrase it, but that was exactly what had his head spinning since his conversation with the guys. Was she throwing herself into this relationship to fill a void left by those other all-consuming aspects of her life? He wanted to believe that she was in it for _them_, the same as him, but...

"Am I?" he asked pointedly. "A rebound? A replacement?"

He met her gaze, expecting anger or resentment at the question. After everything they had shared over the last three months, it seemed an incredulous query, the kind of thing he wished he could immediately dispel from his mind. But, he just couldn't.

Their summer together was just too perfect. Everything was going so well. Their relationship had flaws, certainly, but they were working through their problems. They were communicating. They had successfully made that crazy transition from friends to lovers without the backdrop of working on murder cases together.

Wasn't it just too good to be true?

Kate looked him in the eye, no trace of the negative emotions he was expecting reflected back at him. Instead, all he saw was moisture forming behind her dark lashes, tears she blinked back before speaking.

"Castle..." she began before stopping abruptly. Emotions played across her face as she struggled to give voice to her feelings. A second later, she said firmly, "No. Just- no. You are not a rebound. You are not a replacement. You are... everything. Okay?" Taking a deep breath, Kate pressed on before he could say anything in response. "I quit - I quit the case and I quit my job because I wanted more. I wanted to be more so that I could have more. You are the 'more' I wanted to have, Castle."

He opened his mouth to speak, to say something - he had no idea what - but nothing came out. He had no idea what to say to that.

Just as his mind began to come up with words and string them into coherent sentences, she brought her mouth to his in a desperate, crushing of lips and tangle of tongues. The kiss was messy and passionate, and he realized her tears had finally been shed as his hands moved up to touch her dampened cheeks. Somehow she had moved from sitting beside him to straddling his thighs, her weight pushing him back into the cushions of her couch.

When they finally broke apart for air, he expected her to continue the assault, to pull off his clothes and have her way with him on the couch. She had enough difficulty facing her emotions; giving voice to them was ten times harder for her. She did better with the physical, showing rather than telling. And most of the time that was enough for Castle. But tonight, as if sensing his need for that added reassurance, she continued the conversation.

"It's okay to have doubts, Castle," she told him.

Puzzled, he stated, "I don't have doubts about us."

She clarified, "It's okay to have doubts about _me_. I would too, if I were you."

He almost snorted in response. "I don't have doubts about you."

"About how I feel."

Castle said nothing for a moment as he chose his words carefully. "I don't doubt how you feel."

Not quite believing him, she said, "You shouldn't. I know why you would, but you shouldn't." She was adamant, and while she toyed with his shirt as she spoke, she looked up at him a moment later.

"I don't," Castle said again, this time sounding as if he truly meant it.

She nodded. "Good."

"You don't doubt how I feel, do you?" he asked.

A single shake of her head as she refocused her eyes on his shirt. While he no longer wore jackets on a regular basis, he was glad he had worn a long-sleeved dress shirt as she played with the edges of his collar. The top buttons were already undone, but she moved to the highest one and popped it out of its hole. He waited for her to continue, for the inevitable seduction.

Instead, she said quietly, "You really shouldn't be listening to Espo and Ryan, you know."

His eyes widened at the declaration. "Oh, I know," he agreed. Stupid detectives planting stupid ideas in his head.

"Well, maybe Ryan, but Espo gives terrible relationship advice."

"Duly noted."

"And... there's something else."

He waited, hoping that whatever she was about to tell him was a good 'something else' and not in the category of devastating. She bit her lip before meeting his eyes again, not shy exactly, but definitely hesitant.

"Tell me," he said.

She paused before blurting suddenly, "I want to go back." The words spilled out of her before she could rein them in and give them a semblance of order. "I don't want it to be the way it was before, with my mom's case. I'm done with that. But solving cases... I was good at it, Castle, and I miss it. I miss you and me and it, and... I think it can still work, don't you? Not that this isn't enough for me, I just need _something_. And I've been trying to find what that something is, and everything points back to this-"

Cutting herself off, Kate looked away from him. He could see her mind working, trying to figure out how to say what she was trying to say without it sounding the way she didn't want it to sound. As he felt the muscles in her legs tense, Castle realized that she was going to get up and move away from him. Instinctively, his hands moved to her hips to hold her firmly in place.

"Kate, it's okay," he told her. "I think you should go back to the NYPD."

"You do?"

He smiled at how startled she sounded. She may have been expecting grudging acceptance of her decision, but definitely not whole-hearted agreement. He thought he had been clear over the months that he would support her, no matter what decision she made.

"I do," he said firmly. "You are meant to be out there solving murders. Not only do you love it, but you are very, very good at it." She smiled at this compliment, and he continued as he felt her relax. "Kate, I never expected you to quit your job. I think I understand why you did, but all I wanted was for you to stay away from your mother's case. For your own sake. But being a detective is part of you. You haven't been complete this summer because you haven't been doing that."

"I think you're right," she said. "I tried all summer to think of something else to do with my life, and I couldn't."

"Because you've already found what you are meant to do."

She added boldly, "And the person I'm meant to do it with." She watched him carefully for a moment before asking, "You will go back with me, won't you?"

Perhaps this question was the crux of her hesitation, whether they could go back to being what they were before after everything that had happened. Castle found himself nodding even before his mind could fully process the question. "Of course," he said, almost unnecessarily. "If Gates lets me."

Kate nodded in relief, accepting his agreement. "You'll have to be extra nice to her."

"I'm always nice to her. Any nicer and I'll be-"

Kate cut him off by putting a finger to his lips. "I'll call Ryan in the morning," she stated. Then she slowly crawled off his lap, pulling him with her as she stood up and led him to her bedroom. "Until then, I have other plans for us."


	36. Back to Work

**A/N**: Wow, thanks for everyone who reviewed the last chapter! I appreciate the feedback.

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**Chapter 36: Back to Work**

"So when do you go in?"

"I have an appointment with Gates on Friday," Kate said. While her voice was schooled to calmness, Lanie could tell by the set of her shoulders that she was nervous. "Ryan said she never put my paperwork through, that I've been on suspension all this time. But she'll be the one to decide whether to reinstate me."

Lanie knew from Javi how slammed they'd been down at the precinct of late without Kate, but she also knew that the Captain had a reputation as a hard-ass. She'd rake Kate over the coals a few times before letting her back in, that was for sure, and maybe even rightfully so considering how abruptly Kate had quit her job.

While not a police officer herself, the medical examiner knew well how stressful a job it was. She usually dealt with the dead, the victims who were unable to speak for themselves. She saw the horrors humanity could inflict upon one another every day as they came in to her table. Sometimes she even found herself comforting a family member asked to come down and identify the body of a loved one. And sometimes she woke up Javi from a nightmare on the evenings when he slept over.

But despite the stress, she knew Kate loved it. Solving murders and putting away bad guys was the position in life fate had apparently intended for her.

"I think she'll be thrilled to have you back," Lanie predicted. When her friend gave her a skeptical look, she continued, "Oh, she won't show it, of course. She'll probably make you jump through all the hoops - psych eval, re-qualification, the works."

"I've done that before," Kate said, already familiar with the process after her shooting.

"And if I were her, I'd give you a firm talking to." Her friend smiled at that but did not argue. Growing more serious, she asked, "What about Castle?"

"He said he wants to go back with me."

Lanie snorted. "Oh, I'm sure Writer Boy does want to keep following you around. But will the Iron Maiden let him? I know Gates has mellowed out since she got here, but she was never a fan of his."

Biting her lip, Kate acknowledged, "That has been worrying me. What if she lets me go back but not him?"

With a shrug, the medical examiner turned the question back around, "Will you go back if he can't be with you?"

"I don't know..."

As Kate went into silent thought, Lanie looked her over with the eye of a physician. She appeared healthy despite having likely lost a few pounds due to her bout with the flu weeks earlier. Time in the sun had given her pale skin a little color. Home-cooked meals had filled her out a bit. And the extra sleep had all but erased the dark smudges under her eyes. The summer with Castle had obviously been good for her - both in body and spirit. She also looked relaxed and happy, despite the new worry in her eyes.

"You don't need him there to do your job," Lanie said, pointing out the obvious. Kate had been a homicide detective long before Writer Boy arrived on the scene.

"I know, but... he makes things a little easier. When we hit a wall, he comes up with these elaborate theories, which most of the time are wrong. But they make me think, and they make us all re-examine what we're looking at."

She spoke in earnest about the writer, more free and open than usual. With a smile, she continued, "Before he died, Montgomery once told me that part of the reason he let Castle stay was because he made the job more fun for me."

With a nod of the head, Lanie agreed, "He was a wise man."

"I'm worried that Gates doesn't agree," Kate went on. "And I'm worried that she'll use our relationship to keep Castle out of the precinct."

"But Castle's a civilian. The rules only prohibit relationships between officers in the same squad."

Lanie knew the rules well, having looked them up when she and Javi first began their clandestine relationship. Nothing prohibited a medical examiner from having a personal relationship with a police officer. By the same token, there were no rules about civilians like Castle.

"Except as far as we're all concerned, Castle is my partner, even if he is a civilian. And there are good reasons why partners shouldn't be involved outside the precinct."

While Kate never talked about it, Lanie suspected that she had some personal experience with that particular truth. Rumors had abounded about her relationship with her former training officer, Mike Royce, after he'd become a suspect in one of her cases. Of course, his death made that a moot issue and Lanie had never asked her afterwards. Most people seemed more interested in the "Are they? Aren't they?" relationship between her and Castle.

Playing Devil's advocate, Lanie asked, "Such as?"

Kate nailed her with a look of annoyance and rolled her eyes, but she answered, "Aside from general issues of sexual harassment and bad feelings if things don't work out, it can disrupt unit cohesion and interfere with the line of duty."

Folding her arms, Lanie demanded, "And how is any of that different from how things were between you and Castle before? You two 'broke up' several times, and you almost broke up again when he started dating bimbo flight attendants-"

Kate held up a hand, stating, "That was because of a misunderstanding."

"My point is, how will things be different now? Just because you two are doing the horizontal mambo?"

The other woman signed. "It changes things, Lanie."

"How?" she demanded. "You two were just as crazy about each other before. You just hadn't seen each other naked. Now you have. Does that now make you less capable of going after bad guys together?" Catching Kate's expression of feigned irritation, Lanie backtracked mockingly. "I mean, I assume you've seen each other naked. Because if you haven't, Writer Boy isn't doing this right."

The joke earned her a roll of her friend's eyes even as Kate otherwise ignored the jab. "I guess I'm just worried that I'll be distracted. Or that my relationship with Castle will affect how I do my job."

"Well, tell me this. You were in love with him before-" Catching Kate's shake of the head, Lanie said, "Don't pretend you weren't, Kate Beckett. I know you've been in love with him since you broke up with that cute detective and he went to the Hamptons with his ex-wife instead. So knowing that you felt that way about him even before you two were officially together, how would things be different now?"

Kate did not answer right away, and Lanie could almost hear the wheels turning in the other woman's head as she considered the question. When she bit her lip, she could not tell if Kate was thoughtful or concerned about the answer.

A few moments later, she spoke. "I'm worried he'll get hurt. I mean, I was always a little worried about that, but even more so now."

"But you'll be there to keep an eye on him. And so will Javi and Kevin."

Kate continued, "I'm also worried he'll try to save me, that something will happen and he'll try to come to my rescue like that day at Captain Montgomery's funeral."

They both knew what she was talking about. While Kate's memories of that day were supposedly fuzzy, Lanie had made it a point to make sure Kate knew that the writer had noticed the danger first and tried to get in between her and it. Unfortunately, he'd been a couple seconds too late, not getting to her before the bullet. But on the flip side, fortunately, he hadn't taken the bullet himself.

"Wouldn't you try to save him?" Lanie asked, already knowing the answer.

"Of course I would. But I'm a cop - that's my job. I signed up for that kind of danger. I was trained for it. But he's a writer, Lanie."

"You were just saying what an asset he is-"

"I'm not saying he isn't," she interrupted. "I'm saying that it worries me." She took a deep breath and Lanie employed the best tactic she knew in getting information from her friend - she waited. A minute later, as the silence stretched on, Kate said quietly, "When he was in that bank robbery last year... I was so scared. It absolutely terrified me."

Lanie had heard about the bank robbery. And the explosion. She also knew that it had absolutely nothing to do with Kate's job.

"But you got them out of there," she stated. "You pulled it together and you did your job. Actually, you did the negotiator's job, which you weren't trained for, I might add. And that just goes to show, both you and Castle are good under pressure, even with new and different situations."

Apprehension still colored Kate's expression, although she seemed slightly less worried.

"What if he gets hurt?" she asked, her shoulders slumped under the weight of such a scenario. "What if I screw up and he gets hurt, Lanie?"

The medical examiner's face softened at the question. "Are you talking about the job or something else, Kate?" she asked.

Kate froze as she realized the alternate meaning of her scenario and the possible slip she may have made. Was she really frightened of him getting hurt in the line of duty? Or did that extend to a deeper fear of hurting him in their relationship? Finally, she gave a simple shrug acknowledging both possibilities.

"Well, I think you're going to have a hard time convincing Gates that Castle should stick around if you aren't completely on board yourself."

"I am on board," Kate disputed. "I just... I want to do the right thing. For both of us."

Lanie smirked at this statement. "Considering that you two are most in your element when you're completing each other's sentences and solving crimes together, I'd say this is what's best for both of you. Assuming you can convince Gates to let him come back with you."

"That will be a challenge. But I think I have a plan."

Lanie did not press for details and shortly thereafter, the conversation took a different turn as Kate asked about Javi and Kevin.

"Did your boy tell you about that poker night he tried to pull?" she asked. As Kate nodded with a look of tight-lipped amusement, Lanie continued, "Well, for some crazy reason, it seemed to work. They've got kind of an unsteady truce going on, at least for now."

"It's so sad to see them not getting along like this. I wish there was something I could do…"

With a chuckle, Lanie remarked, "What do you think we've been saying about you and Castle all these years? But you needed to do things in your own time. It's the same with them."

"Well, not exactly the same," Kate pointed out. Visions of Lanie's ex-boyfriend and his partner locked in an embrace suddenly flooded both of their imaginations. Lanie physically shook her head to dislodge the image.

"True. That would be a little weird."

The former detective grinned as she remarked, "Although Ryan sometimes reminds me of Castle – coming up with wild theories and ideas."

"And Javi's like you, moody and brooding."

Her smile vanished. "I'm not moody and brooding."

"Kate, please."

"I'm not."

"Well maybe that summer at the beach was good for you," Lanie stated. In some ways, she envied her friend.

A new boyfriend – a handsome, rich, and successfully guy who was gaga over her. A three month break from her job, which seemed to have done her a world of good. Her old job back, but a new chance at it, with everyone around her excited to see her return. Kate had before her an entirely fresh start, something few people ever receive.

But as she considered her friend, Lanie knew that no one else could deserve it more. With everything Kate had been through and everything she had given to her job, she deserved to find some happiness in her life. And while Lanie had always had her doubts about Writer Boy, he seemed to be delivering it.

"It was good for me," Kate agreed. "But it's time to get back to work."


	37. Conditions

**A/N:** Slight spoilers for Frozen Heat. I haven't read past chapter 4 of the book yet (real life has been interfering with my fandoming), so not much of a spoiler, but just in case.

Thanks again for reviews! They always make my day.

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**Chapter 37: Conditions**

Victoria Gates imagined that Kate Beckett, her wayward detective still on administrative leave, had not been in school for over a decade. Factoring any time she may have taken off college after her mother's death into the detective's current age, it had to be at least ten years. And yet, somehow, she resembled nothing so much as a disobedient child called to the principal's office as she walked casually through the bullpen, stopping briefly to say a few words to the other detectives.

It had been two months since her suspension/resignation and the younger woman certainly looked like she had been spending them well. Her hair was a little longer with some blonde highlights. Her skin was also a shade tanner and her thin frame had gained some much-needed weight.

Beckett looked good. She also carried herself with confidence and an air of defiance. This was going to be an interesting meeting.

"Good morning, Sir," she greeted Gates as she let herself into the older woman's office.

"Please take a seat."

The captain kept her voice light but professional. This interview had dual purposes. She needed to know if Beckett was prepared to come back to the force and to not only recognize Gates' authority, but also to realize that she was not the enemy. And once she had determined that, she needed to convince the woman to return. God knew they needed her. The solve rate for homicide had taken a severe hit over the summer and she'd already received a dressing down about the drop in numbers from the Chief of Detectives.

At the same time, she couldn't give up her authority.

"You know why I asked you to come in today," she began.

Beckett nodded. "Yes, sir. Ryan told me you haven't put in the paperwork for my resignation."

That action had been a gamble, although Gates figured if Beckett had wanted to fight it, she would have called when she did not receive her final paperwork in the mail.

"I was waiting for a formal letter of resignation," she stated archly. She left the allusion to Beckett's almost childish relinquishment of her gun and badge unspoken. "As I never received one, I assumed that what you said was in the heat of the moment and I kept you on administrative leave pending my review."

Beckett regarded her for a few seconds before asking, "And what were the results of your review?"

A perfect opening.

"Detective," she began, making sure to use her title so as to acknowledge her continued status with the NYPD, "You are an excellent police officer. You're bright, insightful, and you do your job well. That being said, you are also undisciplined, hasty, and you don't know when to take a step back from cases that impact you personally. Now, I understand your history with your mother's case. I know that is a lot to let go."

An obvious understatement. Gates had read the file cover to cover. Beckett's mother was murdered by a hired assassin, who she'd shot in that very precinct. And for some reason, the person behind it had also ordered a hit on Beckett herself, resulting in a gunshot wound to the chest in the middle of the funeral of a fellow officer. Gates could read between the lines of the files - she knew there was information that had been left out, key pieces that kept Beckett and her team from trusting anyone else, even their fellow officers.

"With all due respect, Sir-"

"I find that comment is often used just before someone says something disrespectful," Gates observed coolly.

She interrupted the woman deliberately, hoping to get her to betray some annoyance or flippancy. But Beckett continued, "I was only going to say that I've given up investigating my mother's case. The risk to my safety and those I care about is too great."

Gates nodded at the maturity of the response, even if she did not quite believe it.

"That's good to hear. Because you won't be investigating it, not on my watch. I've transferred the entire case to another precinct."

They both knew that it was tantamount to packing everything up and burying it in the furthest reaches of the evidence vault. Another precinct would not afford it the same level of importance as Beckett's team. But Gates did not trust any of her people to handle it considering the mess they had made of things already.

"That's probably wise," Beckett responded, putting forth the words with obvious effort as she kept anger out of her voice. Gates had to hand it to her - she was trying hard.

"Do you have anything else you'd like to say about your behavior before your suspension?" the captain asked. She deliberately phrased the question as open-ended to allow Beckett great latitude to respond.

"Actually, there is. As you have probably guessed, I didn't come to you because of the involvement of corrupt officers in this case from the beginning." Gates nodded. "By relying only on Esposito and Ryan, I put them in unnecessary danger and asked them to break departmental policy. I truly regret that."

"You and Detective Esposito could have both been killed," Gates pointed out.

"I know," Beckett acknowledged, looking genuinely contrite. "What I did was stupid."

"And selfish," Gates added, to which the detective simply nodded. When the younger woman said nothing further, Gates stated, "Well, I assume you've learned your lesson?"

Another silent nod from Beckett. The captain gave her a sharp look, and she said aloud, "Yes, Sir."

"Good. Because if anything even remotely like it happens again, you're gone. Permanently."

"I understand."

"You've been on suspension for over three months, so I'm going to want you to re-qualify of course. I don't think a psych eval will be required for this but-"

Beckett was looking at her expectantly, as though she had something to say. "What is it?" she demanded.

"I actually have one condition for coming back," Beckett told her boldly.

Gates raised an eyebrow. "_You_ have a condition?" she repeated.

"I do," the detective confirmed. "I really want to rejoin the homicide squad. I've had time to think about it, and I think this is where I belong. But I'll only come back if you let Castle come back with me. I know you don't like him, but he's smart, he knows what he's doing, and he's been a tremendous help to our team for the last four years."

Ah, Castle. Of course. Beckett thought she was going to banish Castle again so she was pre-empting her by bringing him into the negotiation.

"You do know Mr. Castle isn't a police officer, don't you?" Gates asked. Goodness knew, no one else in the department seemed to realize that fact. The other detectives treated him like one of them. The uniforms acted like he wore an invisible badge. Even the mayor seemed to think he was an official part of her squad.

"He may not be a cop, but he's a damn fine detective, Sir. I know that without him, we would not have solved as many cases as we have. I think Esposito and Ryan would agree with me on that."

She was appealing to Gates' pragmatic side. It was so obvious that the captain was almost insulted. Folding her arms across her chest, Gates leaned back as she considered Beckett's condition.

"So why isn't he here asking for himself?" she inquired. With a glance at the phone, she added, "Or going higher up the chain?"

The fact that he'd called the mayor still irked her. Being a career administrator did not mean Gates liked dealing with nepotism or her superiors using her to grant personal favors.

"Because I'm here, and I'm asking for him. He's an asset, Sir, one the department doesn't have to pay for. We should utilize him as much as possible."

Now she was appealing to Gates with the "free help" argument. Did she realize Gates hadn't actually fallen off the turnip truck the day before?

"What if I say no?" the older woman responded, keeping her voice high and level. "What if my answer is that you can come back, but not your writer side-kick."

That hypothetical got a reaction. Beckett's eyes flared and the muscles in her jaw tightened as she tried to bite back a retort. A second later, she said, "He's not my side-kick. Sir. He's my partner."

"He's a civilian."

"He's still my partner. And if you think the department can do without his services, I suppose it can do without mine as well."

So she was serious about Castle and was truly conditioning her return on bringing the writer back. Good to know for the future.

Changing her demeanor completely, Gates smiled at the younger woman - a genuine welcome-back-but-don't-screw-up-this-time, smile. "I don't have any object to Mr. Castle continuing to shadow you. He provides good press, something that makes both the Mayor and the Chief of Detectives happy. And as you said, he is occasionally... helpful. As long as he leaves the real police work to the rest of us... Let me know when you've re-qualified, Detective, and I'll submit the paperwork to have you reinstated to active duty."

Gates stood up from her desk to signal that the interview was over. Beckett just stared at her in confusion for several seconds before realizing that etiquette dictated that she also stand and leave.

"Um, thank you, Sir," she managed. Obviously, she'd been prepared for more of a fight and hadn't considered the possibility of the captain giving in so easily. She was also searching for a catch, and Gates was happy to give it to her.

"One thing, Detective. Please tell Mr. Castle that if he ever bases another character on me, I won't be so forgiving."

Once they realized the captain in the writer's new book the book was based on Gates, she'd been teased unendingly by her family and friends. Not only did she look like an opportunistic, ladder-climbing jerk, he'd attempted to hide her real identity by portrayed her as a man. As if making it in the police force as a woman wasn't difficult enough, but he'd stripped away even her gender from her.

Beckett, to her credit, only nodded before she turned to leave, carefully pulling shut the captain's office door behind her. Once she was safely on her way out of the bullpen - closely followed by both Detectives Esposito and Ryan, who looked exceedingly pleased at her presence - only then did Gates pull out of a bottom desk drawer her brand new hardcover copy of _Frozen Heat_. Flipping it open, she picked up where she'd left off.


	38. Savoring

**A/N**: Mild spoilers for the first chapter of _Frozen Heat_. I haven't finished the book, so no idea how likely this scenario would be. Probably one (or two?) more chapters after this.

Thanks to everyone who has been keeping up with (and catching up on) this story! Ya'll are amazing!

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**Chapter 38: Savoring**

She was reading it - _Frozen Heat_.

By all rights, she should have already read the book well before its public release. He'd meant to get it to her months earlier, he really had. But there was a mix-up with his advanced copy and then Gina had thrown a fit about spoilers hitting the internet, and well... it was a sore subject all around. He would likely be paying for the sin of not ensuring she received a copy for a long time to come.

But in the mean time, she was reading it.

In the bathtub.

Naked.

It was all part of her ritual, of course. A tub full of bubbles and warm water, a glass of wine. And her first read-through of his new book.

So why wasn't he in there with her?

"Because I'm reading it the same day as everyone else," she complained that morning, the day of his _Frozen Heat_ release party, as he returned from the closest Barnes & Noble with a fresh copy.

He stroke through the store quickly and purposefully, snatching up the blue-covered book from a display by the front door. The salesperson who rang him up had recognized him as he handed over a credit card, flipped the book to the back cover to double check his photograph, then looked back at him in utter astonishment. "You're buying your own book?" the woman asked.

"Long story," he mumbled in embarrassment. After signing his credit card receipt, she asked for his autograph, and he was barely able to escape without doing an impromptu book signing for all the employees in the store.

"It's not my fault," he told Kate when he'd returned. "Gina-"

"Save it," she interrupted harshly, taking the book from his hand. "I'm not going to that party tonight unless I've read it cover to cover."

Thus, rather than enjoying the bubble bath with her as she devoured the work he had spent a year producing, he was sitting on Kate's bed listening to the occasional splash of water coming from her bathroom. Once in a while, he heard a chuckle or a noise of consternation. Sometimes the clink of her wine glass as she set it down reminded him that because of the book snafu, she was consuming the alcoholic beverage at 9 am on a Tuesday morning. Thank goodness she wasn't due into the precinct until next week. That would be an awkward conversation with Gates.

After waiting for what felt like an hour, Castle called out, "So, how far are you?"

"Castle?" she said, sounding startled. "Are you just sitting out there waiting for me?"

Was he not supposed to be? She was in the bathtub. Naked.

Reading his book. Naked.

And he wasn't allowed to come in. Where else would he be but waiting outside?

"Uh... yes," he answered. Honesty was the best policy. And maybe his honesty would earn him a reprieve. "Can I come in?"

"No."

Castle frowned at the not unexpected answer. And he continued to wait. Sooner or later, she'd have to come out. And because he knew she hadn't taken in a change of clothes with her, she would be emerging in a towel. And Kate's towels were not that big. Small pleasures, he decided with a sigh.

Through the door, he heard a chuckle, which caught his attention.

"What are you laughing at?" he called.

"Your first chapter," she responded.

He smiled as he realized what she was referring to. He had a feeling she'd like that part. But- "You're still on the first chapter?" he questioned.

A pause before Kate said defensively, "I'm savoring."

Savoring, huh? It seemed so unfair that she got to savor him, or his writing at least, and he didn't get to savor... well, her.

Naked. In the bathtub. Reading his book.

_Naked._

"Are you deliberately trying to torture me?" Castle demanded.

Her voice said, "No, why would I do that?" but her tone said, "Absolutely."

"Can I at least come in to bring you a refill on your wine?" he suggested. "Maybe some chocolates? Oysters? Caviar?"

As he tried to think of other aphrodisiacs she might actually have tucked away in her pantry, Kate responded, "Oysters - Castle, it's nine o'clock in the morning."

And that didn't matter for the wine?

"But you can refill my glass," she added.

Success!

Castle jumped up from the bed, taking two steps towards the bathroom door before stopping. Indecisive, he turned back towards the kitchen. Should he bring the wine bottle to her to refill the glass or should he grab the glass and take it to the kitchen to refill? Deciding that he might not be allowed into the bathroom twice while she was 'savoring,' Castle quickly made his way to her kitchen and snatched up the bottle of wine. As an afterthought, he also took a glass for himself, just in case she allowed him to stay in there with her.

When he returned to the bedroom, he gave a soft knock before opening the door separating them.

"Kate?" he said quietly. And then he saw her.

In the bathtub. Reading his book.

Naked.

Castle gulped as he took in the image before him - Kate with her hair gathered up on top of her head as she reclined in the water, piles of bubbles layered over the surface of the water and covering most of her body. The only parts of her he could see were her head and shoulders and her arms as they held the hardback emblazoned with his name out in front of her.

"Refill?" he asked even though he could clearly see that her glass was still mostly full.

"Sure," Kate agreed, her smile and the obvious pretense for letting him in reflecting that he was forgiven. Or at least, mostly forgiven.

Without asking permission, he poured himself a glass of the wine and sat down on the tile floor next to the tub, careful not to let out the groan of discomfort as he did so. He was definitely getting older, but there was no need to highlight that fact to his gorgeous, naked girlfriend.

"So what do you think so far?" he questioned.

"It's good," Kate answered. "What little I've read of it so far."

"I thought you were a faster reader than that."

"I am," she agreed. "But..."

As she trailed off, she bit her lip in that adorable way and Castle considered why she would be nervous about reading his book. After all, he'd given her most of the plot points already - information that could be found on the dust jacket cover - so she wouldn't be completely blindsided. He hadn't told her the end, of course.

"It's just kind of meta, you know?" she asked, using his word to describe why he hadn't slept with Natalie Rhodes.

"Meta how?" he asked. The book was based on the two of them, fictional versions, of course. But since they'd gotten together at the beginning of the summer, a lot of Nikki and Rook's relationship had ceased to be fictional.

"Sometimes it just feels like I'm in this really long, complex dream," Kate observed. "My favorite writer starts following me around for inspiration-"

"I am your favorite writer! I knew it," Castle said gleefully, but she ignored the interjection.

"-and starts writing books based on me. You have characters based on us get together in the books, and then we get together in real life."

"Finally," he remarked.

"-and now I'm here, reading your book about us, and you're here, and..."

She looked at him wistfully, as though not quite believing that this dream was real. Castle felt the same way, although for entirely different reasons.

"Sometimes, things happen for a reason," he observed.

Things like being arrested at his own book launch party by the most remarkable, maddening, challenging, frustrating person he'd ever hoped to meet. Things like a killer staging murders to look like scenes from his books, the murders which ultimately brought Kate to him. Things like Kate, who he had already met once at a book signing without knowing it, being a fan of his work and able to recognize the familiar scenes.

"I don't know if I can read this with you sitting there," Kate said finally.

"Why not?"

"I just... I can't do it in front of you. It's too personal."

He actually laughed at that admission. He was a little nervous about her reaction - he always was when she read one of his Nikki Heat books. But now, with the change in their relationship, it was that much more poignant.

"I once caught you reading _Heat Wave_ in a bathroom stall," he pointed out.

"And don't think I've forgotten that, by the way. What if I had actually been using the bathroom?"

"I think you would have been a lot less affronted." She rolled her eyes as she looked away from him, smiling as she did so. "Would it help if I was naked?" he offered.

His question produced a chuckle as Kate responded, "I don't think we'd get much reading done."

"Who said anything about reading?"

"Castle..." she admonished.

"Okay, fine. Do you want me to go home so you can read in peace?" He knew she wanted to read it in its entirety before the launch party that night, partially because so many others there would have read it and also so she would not be surprised by any questions from the media.

But based on her expression, Kate didn't seem to like the idea of him leaving. With a sigh, Castle reached over and plucked the book from her hands. "What paragraph are you on?" he asked.

"Top of the page."

He snorted in amusement. "You didn't get further than the sex scene in chapter one?"

"I told you - I was savoring."

He grinned at her response but did not tease her about it further. At this rate, she was never going to finish it before the party. So instead, he picked up where she'd left off, launching into one of his more animated readings. By the end of the second chapter, the tile floor had grown intolerably uncomfortable. He stopped to look at Kate, who had pulled her arms into the tub and sunk down so that just her head was floating above the bubbles. Her face was completely relaxed, her eyelids shut.

"You awake?" he asked.

"Uh huh." She nodded but did not open her eyes.

"I'll make you a deal. Either you get out or you let me in."

Without moving Kate answered, "Mmm... okay."

Not needing further permission, Castle quickly divested himself of clothing and joined her in the tub. Luckily, it was big enough for both of them and he settled himself behind her, careful as he did so not to get the book wet. By all rights, he really should be reading _Frozen Heat_ to her in colder environment, to set the scene, but after almost dying together in a freezer, he was okay with compromising artistic integrity for the sake of comfort.

"So am I forgiven?" he asked.

"Maybe," Kate answered. "Keep reading."

As he picked up with chapter three, Castle decided that if reading to her naked in the tub was his punishment for forgetting to get her an advanced copy of the book, that might have to be a transgression to be repeated in the future.


End file.
